I know what your thinking , I’m so young I have a life ahead of me. I don’t. My childhood was tossed between my divided parents who hurt each other by hurting me. My stepfather hit me , my mom told me she wished I had never been born. Then when I was 15 I moved in with my dad and his wife thinking that they wanted me me because they loved me , they just wanted to stop paying child support. I was alone I had a few friends , but then he came into my life, my boyfriend I had found a reason […]
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wanted
I just wanted to say that with today being my first day on here I’m glad to know I’m not so alone in these feelings… I truly hope we can all find happiness!
I’ve been wanted to end my life even at a young age because of the loneliness I felt inside my heart. I use to get bullied when I was young and I was pushed around with no one to help me. I barely made friends because they found me weird and ugly. I made some a few years before high school who were good people but none could ever understand me. I always felt misunderstood and hopeless. High school was the worst time of my life for freshmen and softmore year. I couldn’t stand school and I felt so lonely I even just felt the urge […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself for the past 3 years. I attempted it twice but failed both times, the first time with pills and the second with a razor to my wrist. On the rare occasions where I feel happy, I get home and cut myself. It’s the worst feeling ever. Someone should put me into a coma, I want to sleep forever.
It was the supreme power, matrix or whatever it is called wanted me to suffer. That’s why all those escape routes I could have were brutally eliminated. I am made to loose and suffer. Family is one big cause of this mess but there were other reasons too. No matter how much I try, the supreme power will always derail it. May my life end quickly. Hopefully today. On this auspicious occasion of Ganesh Puja, a religious Hindu festival I want to finish this mess called life.
Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. You’re beautiful. No matter what you think, you are. If no one has told you that today, then I will. Because you are. Sometimes it just takes the help of someone else to see that.
Today I was feeling pretty down this morning. It took the help of a friend to pick me up again. I suffer from depression and earlier this spring, I suffered my worst episode yet that ended with me calling the Suicide Hotline at twelve in the morning. Needless to say, I found out that there weren’t any actually resources to help me in my local […]
We all have those moments where we just want to die. This was a feeling that I had that was stronger than ever. Since I was a little girl, I was fat and I have been called fat. I’m not gonna lie…it hurt badly. It made me feel terrible. Those beautiful girls out there were skinny, so where does that leave me? I cried and cried myself to sleep sometimes because I was ugly and fat. As I got older, it was worst. You were judged all the time, whether if it was how pretty you were, what was your weight, or the clothes you […]
I am 56, soon 57 in a few weeks. I am lonely. I have a 25 year old son, who hardly ever comes to visit me. A woman lived with me for many years. She was my girlfriend. I found out that she cheated on me twice. That day I found out, she came home, but I told her that I wouldn’t give her any more chances, and to pack up her things and remove them from my house and leave, because I did not want to be cheated on anymore. It hurt me to do this to her, but it hurt even more being […]
Now, I’ve said a lot about how much I hate myself and want to die, but I haven’t really gone into who exactly I am as a person that makes me hate myself. Here I’ll go into detail about the things that make me despise who I am as a person.
I didn’t have a shred of hatred for myself until I was about 10. This was where certain things in my life began to shape me into the self-loathing person I am today.
It started when a close friend my Grandmother had at the time crawled into my bed as I was sleeping one night, put […]
please email me someone I am so alone. no friends, my family doesn’t understand, guys always leave me, no one can handle me. I’m stuck living all alone with my two cats Elmo and tawnee.. I’ve wanted to die since I was 3. I’ll be 25 in December. tawneesmommy@gmail.com
Yesterday, I completely lost hope. I needed to die. Like right now. I was choking because of my tears. My bestfriend – and the guy I’m in love with – didn’t want me to talk to him anymore. Because everything was my fault. Because it was my fault that I fell in love with him. Because it was my fault that everyone has noticed it.
I can’t live without him. Even the weird relationship we’re having was much sufficient for me to hold on. But him cutting me out of his life was too much for me to handle.
I scarred myself. But I didn’t bleed to […]
If my suffering could be manifested physically, I’m sure everyone would be okay with me leaving
by timetogonow
written by timetogonow
First time I tried to kill myself, I was 16. I overdosed and was hospitalised. I was raped and bullied. I left hospital and ignored calls from the police.
For the next five years, I felt myself losing a sense of who I was. A straight-A, goody two shoes, quit college (UK meaning of the word). I started over, but skipped school a lot. I ended up getting two As and a B at A Level. I got into a good university to study law, but I think they just wanted my money from international fees. I got a 2:1 with honours, but by the scrape […]
So g-ma was batshit crazy mommy is batshit crazy now turns out the star child is batshit crazy too but I’m too smart to try and die like mommy and too many people know my name for me to disappear like mommy wanted me to. I got left twice before daddy stepped in and at least I have a room to be left in. Lucky for me another she came along and we ended up going to the same schools. I used to cut a lot and it felt so good but she hates it so I got on my knees and promised her I […]
my real name is Mark, but I prefer to be called Maciee. I came on here to find advice and possibly a way past this time.
it started when I was 7 or 8, wanting to be dressed up as a girl and to wear makeup, to be beautiful and comfortable in the pink and frills instead of the disgusting monster truck t-shirts and baseball caps. my mom died before i turned 5, but i know if she was still here she would have supported me now. i’m 12 years old, (soon to be 13 in a week counting today!). I live with my dad and […]
today was a mix of things. I am a little drunk. I had a bunch of mimosas with a coworker. delicious. Today was meant to be a busy but powerful and productive day.
I went to my old apartment where I paid my rent till the end of the month to discover that my ex roommates went into my room and “cleaned up.” They threw away different pieces of cardboard and plastic bags that I had left there. I went back to clean up and pick up some things I’d left today. I was shocked especially because some of the materials I left there, I left […]
So its been nearly a year since I tried to kill myself. I did it at the end of last summer, swallowed three bottles of anti-depressants. I did it because I wanted to die, and I was outraged when I woke up still quite alive. However I became even more upset upon learning the level of my injuries. Apparently comitting suicide after leaving home with nowhere to go is a worse idea, particularly in northern Minneapolis. After overdosing and passing out, apparently somebody found me and proceeded to mug me, stealing my few valuables and kicking the shit out of my body.
Not […]
Many people blame us for not letting them in.they blame us for us being alone.they say how are they suppose to know if we’re sad or happy or mad if we never open up.im tired of hearing it.to all you who dont understand.WE CANT.even if we wanted to.we wouldnt be able to.its not that easy dammit.instead of blaming us for us being alone.why cant they look deeper.if you look close enough…you’ll see so much more.pay attention and you’ll see our true feelings.look deeper and you’ll see…
It is amazing that the ones who need the most help are the ones who are overlooked or ignored. We are the ones who have mastered the art of lying, stealing, cheating and faking. These arts are not used to rise above our position in society, but they are used just to survive on this earth.
Its funny how those who are ‘successful’ are always caught lying, cheating and stealing. I suppose one could say that if you really wanted to be successful, you should learn those arts from us. But then, that would mean someone would have to pay attention to us. They would have […]
What it’s like to live under a bridge.
Living under a bridge can be rough. It’s dirty, muggy, and this often results in the troll being grumpy. The troll has good reason to be grumpy though. Not only are its living conditions disgusting, but also it gets to hear the footsteps of those above him all day long. All day…clunk thump; people walk by without noticing the grumpy old troll under the bridge. The troll didn’t used to be so grumpy. He was born into a nice family, but he was a fidgety troll. Therefore, his family began to dislike him and identify him as being […]
if you’re reading this it’s because I finally found the strength to do what I have threatened and wanted for so long. Think what you want, that I’m a coward or I’m weak. I can’t handle the thoughts or the pain of this. She was my entire world and my savior. I fucked it all up. I can’t forgive myself. I can’t forget. I can’t move on. I can never love someone else and now the only one who truly loved, accepted, and knew me is gone because of me. I don’t understand how she can move on. I can’t stand the thought of her […]