not even sure

today was a mix of things. I am a little drunk.  I had a bunch of mimosas with a coworker. delicious. Today was meant to be a busy but powerful and productive day.

I went to my old apartment where I paid my rent till the end of the month to discover that my ex roommates went into my room and “cleaned up.” They threw away different  pieces of cardboard and plastic bags that I had left there. I went back to clean up and pick up some things I’d left today.  I was shocked especially because some of the materials I left there, I left because i didn’t think it made sense to take to my new place.  one particular piece of cardboard i had been saving for months because i had in mind a piece of art that i wanted to create related to my gender and my chemical dependence and just something that meant a lot to me.

I was kinda devastated this morning when I saw they’d removed everything from the room. I found some random stuffs in a closet but my materials weren’t there.  My heart sank when they said they did it to take pictures of the room. I said you didn’t let me know.

I know that at this point i don’t expect my ex-roommates or ex close friend to be kind but i expect them to inform me if they’re throwing things out from my room.

I’m just glad champagne exists.  I guess he saved me work? unfortunately not the time i’ve spent arranging and rearranging things and packing things in separate bags to keep it organized or the time i spent thinking what color i would paint it.

I’ll admit that i cried a bit not just for the cardboard but for the disrespect and the offense.