She lived with me for a year and we were each others everything and then she started doing whatever the fuck she wanted and didnt respect me so i broke up with her and she packed up and left. That year was so broken and fucked up but i loved her with everything in my body everything but i couldnt take the feeling of her slipping away (I could tell we were loosing our love) But even though i broke up with her I still love her so much and i wish i never did it but its too late shes trying so hard not […]
Tag:
wanted
My friend decided to ruin my life by telling everyone I sent nudes and that I stalk my best guy friend. I’m bullied at school by the popular girls who were once my friends. Someone made up a rumor I called one of the fat And now they harass me sending me pictures of how mad they are at me to my Instagram DM. People on my ask.fm leave comments like “how’s your ass so big?” And “are you staying back? You should you cock sucking whore.” Me and my friends were being silly and dancing in our underwear around my room and I didn’t […]
I have been suicidal for over 8 years now. At times it gets better but recently it’s been getting worse. I think about it a lot. The only thing that prevents me from doing it is my son. I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t know how much longer I will be able to keep going for him.
Back story:
I was in the military for almost 10 years when I got divorced. At first it was fun then I started to get lonely, I tried to get my ex wife back but she wanted nothing to do with me unless it dealt with […]
When I first found out that it was love, real love, I couldn’t wait to tell her. I knew that she would be so damn proud of me, cause she always wanted the best for her little boy. And yes, she saw the struggle I went through in my younger years. She knew that I didn’t want to live my life and that it was simply a cruel joke. She saw all this, my mother. But I stayed strong for her and kept a promise.
When I proclaimed that the time had come..and that I didn’t need to be alone anymore..I told her that I […]
I changed my mind.
My material possessions are starting to consume my life
There is just too much shit I don’t need and I’m paying too much for living expenses when I could be saving tons of money. This isn’t survival, and it’s not working. I have some debt too.
Gonna start selling off and throwing away pretty much half of everything. Ill have to give up my fish tank I guess 🙁 I really wanted to keep them for the next 10 years or so but I need to be light on my feet and go where the wind takes me. I need to get the hell away […]
Never in my 18 years of this miserable life have I ever wanted to kill myself this much
I set myself limits “if you can make it to then you can make it” but recently I’ve never been this depressed . I just want to end all of this , I’m no good at anything , even my own parents thinks the worst of me so what’s the point anymore
I’m two days late. And a year late. It doesn’t matter to you but it does to me and I’m sorry. A lot has happened, but little has changed. I still miss you. A lot. I don’t think about you enough, it makes me too sad when I do. I wish I did though, it’s worth it to keep the thoughts of you fresh. It was nice to see your parents again today, it always is. I hope that they’re doing okay, as impossible as it may seem. I don’t want to say too much this year, I’m already having enough difficulty as it is. […]
I thought I was just depressed because I wasn’t active enough, so recently I’ve been hanging out with old friends and I got a job and started working out but even though I’ve made all of these steps I still feel depressed and suicidal almost every day. I still want to end this pain that I can’t find the source of and still want to shoot my stupid face.
I fucking thought that I could be helped and that I could find the solace I’m looking for but, no matter how many people I can bond with, no matter how many girls I aimlessly flirt with, […]
I was able to hang out with a friend, more like sister, that I haven’t seen in what seems like forever. In reality, it was a few months but to us, it felt like lifetimes. We used to see each other every day. She is my sorority sister and we were colleagues. She left the job that we shared because of mistreatment so we didn’t get to see each other every day. Well, we both knew how difficult the job is so we would take turns doing something every week for each other. It helped keep our sanity and our depression in check. Well, she […]
I know its wrong to want to hurt someone… But why do I feel so strongly about it? Every time I hear SHE’s with the man I love (my ex)…. I want nothing but to rip her eyes out and slice her throat…. I don’t know whats wrong with me…. I’ve never wanted to hurt someone up until now…
The thing is, im the kind of person people wanted to hang out with because they think im funny, cool and popular and because i always get straight A’s. It has always been like that. Like i dont even ask for anyone but they all try to sit with me at lunch or inside the class. They laugh at my jokes, they invite me to places and i thought wow, i didnt ask for this kind of attention but it’s all happening. That was my story. For 10 years i had that. And then i found out they were all just using me to be […]
For years I have wanted to go. Ever since I was 4/5 years old. I have never felt normal. I just want to stop these thoughts and feelings in my head. My community mental health team have given up. No more medication or help. So I’ve given up. I just want the courage to go through with it. I’m in a downwards spiral and it’s not stopping. I have no friends and my family have distanced themselves so I’ve nothing to lose. I just want gone. Sorry to sound like a kid having a tantrum, I’m actually 26.
So the past few days have been hard anyway……I forgot to take my lithium….the bad thoughts were relentless. And then I find out that my husband cheated on me with this whore. ….again. and then he told me he wanted a divorce. Bad thoughts in overdrive. I took a couple klonopin and lay down but I can’t sleep…….I feel like such a failure. What did I do wrong this time? I have tried so many different meds, hoping one will work. I have been on the unit, in partial and aftercare…..trying to get better, trying to make it work. And now, there is no reason […]
Hello, my name is Carter. I’ve just joined SP but I have been visiting it almost daily just reading for about 4 months now…Well I will be 19 in august I have been suicidal for roughly 2 years now, I wrote the following note may 13, 2014. At this point in time I haven’t chosen a date or how I’m going to do it. I am posting the note now because it best describes my emotions.
Life takes to much effort , but death is to much work. Without doing anything life is my choice but it makes for a sad existence, at least with death […]
hello. I’m kaelyn. I’m 15. this is the part of my story that isn’t so great but i figured that I need to start somewhere.
my parents were 18 when I was born. they weren’t together. I want born into a freakishly religious family. I am not religious at all.
anyways.
I think that the bad thoughts (hurting myself, wanting to die) began around age 8. my mom had a boyfriend who lived with us and my sister was 4. my mom worked all the time. her boyfriend was very abusive. one of the last things i witnessed him do was hold my mom in the air and […]
I’m fucking tired of living like this. I hate not being able to do anything about it. Can’t you see that you’re hurting me? Can’t you understand that the things you say tear me apart? Why does everything hurt so much? I’m blinded by all of these things you throw at me. I’m suffocating from all this pressure. I can’t help but think of all of the most painful ways to die, and how I would perform them on myself. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. I fucking hate myself. I’m so useless; I can’t do anything right. I do everything I possibly can to […]
The love of my life left me six weeks ago. We have been together 7 years, have been best friends for 12 years, and we have 2 daughters. She is my world, my everything. I’ve invested my entire heart and soul into her. I gave up every dream I had to be with her. She was that much to me. When we got together, our love transcended time. Romeo and Juliet was a farce in comparison to us. Our souls were connected, we loved beyond measure. At least that was what I believed. You see, I have always been depressed. I’ve lived with depression and […]
wanting to be alone and not saved…
Saved from what? ourselves?
Are we the ones that caused this?
do you think i wanted this?
we all get judged for the cuts on our wrists
the scares that remain after the bleeding and pain…
why do you think we’d do this to ourselves?
just because we want attention?
cause we’re weird?
has it ever crossed your mind that maybe there’s a reason behind these scares?
well maybe it should…
maybe you should think about it before you judge …
before you look down on the girl that always wears long sleeves …
before you turn your […]
Despite watching everything in my life crumble and dissintigrate into nothing around me, my best friend from home decides to text me out of the blue. After handling her crisis, she says to me, ” You have always been the strongest and most grounded person I have ever known and will ever know.” What she doesn’t know is her text stopped me from inhaling a rather large handful of assorted pills. Her comment…I don’t know if I feel more ashamed for wanted to take my life or if I feel better for knowing that I can keep my fading life under control for other people.
I […]