The only person that ever cared about me is gone. The person I was going to run away with abd love forever is dead. He loved me for me I didn’t have to be who anyone else wanted to be I was good enough for him. I can go on in life without him. I spend days thinking about our memories and I have fantasies about you riding up the street on your black motorcycle saying †wherever you want to go I’ll take you†I miss you just holding me while we talk about anything and everything the different countries we were going to […]
Tag:
wanted
Hey kiddo, I don’t know if you still wander around this site (you know who you are), but if you do I wanted to tell you something. Your great grandma died on this day sixteen years ago, I wish she would have had the chance to know you. She would have loved you so much, she never judged people who think like us. She would have told you how wonderful you are and given you a million and one reasons to never give up. I miss her and she isn’t here to say those things to you, but I am. I love you so much, […]
I’m so fucking tired of waking up every night. It takes everything in me to just go to work (I work nights). The only thing I look forward to is sleeping all weekend. Got some bars so it shouldn’t be a problem as long as people will leave me alone. Happy go lucky people make me fucking nauseous. My mind just doesn’t work that way. I see the negativity in everything. People always say to focus on the things that make you happy. I can’t make anyone understand that there is nothing that makes me happy except the fact that I have a bottle of […]
I don’t even know what to to anymore. I feel so alone and I have no one to talk to, so I guess that’s why I’m here. I’m 16 and I’ve been struggling with depression since my stepfather (he was like my dad) walked out on me when I was 11. My mom left him and I saw him for a little while after that, but eventually he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore because he had a girlfriend with a kid and wanted to start over. my biological dad isn’t around, and has never made any attempt to contact me. I […]
But my uncle said that if I really wanted to show I love him I had to not cut tonight so tomorrow I could tell him “good news”.
I mean, I told him to not be mad if I slip, which is proving difficult….but if it will make him happy then okay, I’ll try my best not to. We’ve been through a lot together and he’s almost like my best friend….so I guess it’s the least I could do for him.
Ugh but I can hear that blade calling….”let me kiss your skin….it won’t hurt for long at all”
maybe some music and a good movie will […]
Ive posted again and again on here and have not yet managed to kill myself.I know im running out of time.Something more tragic is coming if i dont commit and succeed at suicide.Like me being homeless.I wish i could just run in front of a car and get it over with but i freeze.Ive tried dehydrating myself and overdose.Apart of me is afraid of succeeding just cause i dont know what is after this.What if i come back to this earth.what if hell is real and ive got to look forward to demons poking at me with knives in a dugeon for the rest of […]
All kind of thoughts run through my mind. i can be anything. i can change to any side. just convince me and see where i go. i have always tried to find answers to ultimate questions – questions that are right and on whom my existence and my suffering depends. every time i watch a documentary or read a philosophical novel i get into one of these questions and seems to find myriad of solutions to it. but experience has taught me that they somehow never works. so now when i find a solution i also ask myself why the solution would not work and […]
I’m tired of this mess that ive made my life. I have been suicidal since my first breakup. All of my relationships have always ended in the girl either cheating or leaving for one reason or another. Its usually the classic “its not you its me” crap. I am a very loving and emotional person and no matter how many women say that is what they are looking for, it is simply not the truth. I just got out of a “relationship” with a girl that i thought was a person i could trust. I should have known better. I was laying in bed with […]
We haven’t heard from Januray…But.. I missed all these people who doesn’t know how much I love them.. Maybe they aren’t perfect to someone else,bu to me you are perfect just the way you are. I love you guys,all of you.
My status,of emotions are distroyed.Of health so much better,but I still feel empty. And if someone is willing to share their story can send me a mail on lanamajetic33@gmail.com . I will always be there for anyone of you. I can’t say it will be better,maybe it won’t be like you want. You have to stay strong. I sound like my therapist. haha. I […]
Why did you rape me? Why did you kill me? Why did I wake up again? Why did my heart start beating again? Why did you hurt me? When I was only 2 or 3 years old? I feel so sorry. I feel like it’s my fault. I feel like I should have been a better child and given you more. I am confused. I am scared. I suffered 18 years of a difficult time at home. And the problem was: My parents didn’t even know. They didn’t even realise what was going on. They didn’t even realise they were wrong. They thought they were good and […]
I’ve attempted suicide before. One time I got really close. Each time I was young and didn’t know enough. The first time, I was twelve. I didn’t know you had to go up the road. The second, a couple years later, I wasn’t able to find the courage at the bottom of that deep bottle. The last time, I came really close. Put myself in a two day coma. I was 18 and still lived at home with my family and siblings. I even had a girlfriend. No one knew.
That was the last time. I got counseling, per my girlfriends request, after coming out to […]
i hate my life, it sucks, everything goes wrong but i guess im skipping a bit too far ahead so here from the start; when i was a little girl my mom and dad split up, he cheated we never spoke they never spoke, growing up he wasent there they never bothered then when i was about 7 he appeared again started wanting to see us we did an had frequent contact this was amazing, i never got along with his wife, i hated her and she had a strong opinion on me, this made it hard to see my dad again , again we […]
i was really depressed almost 2 years ago. i would cry my eyes out every evening, and hope that the next cut would end everything. but that didn’t happen. i called that stage “sick” so if i talk about the times i was depressed, i would say:”when i was sick”. so a couple of weeks ago it was a casual morning, when this girl that used to be my best friend but now we both hate each other, came up to me and started yelling. than in class my teacher made me feel like shit, and worthless. i just kept my mouth shut. i actually […]
Do you ever wake up feeling like today is going to be another bad day? Thinking that nothing will change, that it will just be this daily routine of negative thoughts and feelings in Your head? Well maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But me…well this is only just the frosting to the cake.
all My life I’ve felt like i don’t belong anywhere i go. Whether it is family, school friends, outside of school friends, sporting teams, swimming squad, whatever. Ive always felt this sense of isolation and separation from the others. At first, when I was 5, it didn’t matter to me, I just […]
No need for fancy explanations. I wish to die, and I’ve chosen dehydration as my way to go. I just wanted it to be known somewhere that my death was voluntary.
I’m scared, I want my mommy here with me, holding my dear.
So alone in the dark again; they won’t tell me what happened.
The people around me are crying and sobbing, and I don’t know what to do.
They say be brave
They say you’ll be missed.
They say not to be like you, but I don’t understand why.
I cry because I know that I can’t see you; at least that’s what they say
I cry because I can’t get you back, I want you back.
I cry because it was your choice to leave, why mommy?
I don’t understand did I do something […]
No matter how good I feel, no matter where I go or what I do, I always know that it’s coming. I’m scared to fall in love, I’m scared to make friends, I’m scared to have children. Because those things are all I’ve ever wanted, but I’m terrified that I’ll get them and then leave them. What kind of mother leaves her children on purpose? But I KNOW in my heart that having children won’t ever fix this. That as much as I may love them, I simply cannot stay. And I am SO sorry.
We knew each other for six years before we got into a relationship that lasted nearly three years because even though things seemed to get better, exactly one week ago she pulled the trigger. Now the same question keeps on repeating itself over, over and over again: “Why?â€.
Before you all start commenting on why I didn’t help her, let me first make a couple of this things clear! Even before we got into a relationship I knew she was struggling with herself. She had this image of herself not being beautiful, smart and thin enough.
I could see the pain in the eyes. She had a […]
Note the sarcasm in that post? Yeah. Loaded.
I am bringing him up on workplace harassment charges. Today I learned, in addition to him calling me a dumbass in front of everyone, that he’s been telling the guys I work with that he and I were VERY intimate. Uh, no. Never happened. Not even close. So now I know why I few of the guys are being suspiciously nice, and why the one very religious guy almost literally runs away at the mere sight of my face. Let’s make this clear, I’m a virgin, not a goddamn whore. I get promoted because I work my ass […]
He said he’d never leave me. When he left, he said he’d never be with someone else. He said I was the only he’d ever want, but that he couldn’t handle my mood swings. He left. He has still been texting me here and there playing with my heart and giving me false hope. The other day I got a text from his number calling me a *****, a filthy whore, and so many other names. It was his girlfriend apparently. He had moved on..I am so destroyed. I feel so empty and dead. She was telling me to leave him alone and said that he told her all […]