So you have that one person, your other half. He/she wants to see you do good and stay positive . And you just feel like you cant look up to there expectations . It hurts, and it hurts even more that you can’t be honest with them because you dont want them to know how you really feel. Im so very good with keeping my emotions bottled up. Because once they are out there is no ceiling it back up. Honestly can get you only so far in life..
Tag:
wants
Theres an asshole in my school that’s pushing buttons that he shouldn’t push. First, he jokes about Death, asking one of my closest friends if she wants to die and trying to convince her that she wants too. Then he starts insulting cutters, when one of his friends and many of my friends cut. None he says that the stage is where I dahlias be, not answering a call that informs me that my friend has gone back into a coma. The ONLY thing saving this ass kisser is that the show is next Friday and Saturday.
Then, we will fight. My background makes most boys […]
This is a long story, but, I’ll tell it. I’m 15 years old. I tried suicide numerous times. I am obsessing over a girl. You see, I started liking her in last year, and it started out as a physical attraction. Then, it turned into something else. The school year ended. Over the summer, she was all I thought about. If I was out with people, I didn’t care about what was happening there, I cared about what this girl was doing. I stayed awake most nights thinking of her. The next school year came around. I asked her out, she rejected me, of course, […]
“What’s on your mind” what a way to greet someone a suicide blog haha.. I don’t really know what to write in this as I’m new so.. I guess I’ll start out by saying hi. my name is Kay (well that’s my nickname I want to stay anonymous just in case haha) Jesus I sound really happy or something when I’m writing this but I’m the complete opposite to happy which is what has led to me to this website. I’m an ordinary 17 year old from Ireland but I just have a lot on my mind. Right now I’m not in a good place. […]
Came across this forum while researching things related to suicide and the reasoning behind it. I’ve had a good life, and I’m still young with lots of potential but things seem to just keep piling on, the puzzle pieces never quite fitting together. Last night I had it in my mind that it was the night I was going to see what was on the other side because whether it’s better or worse it should at least be different. The one sad thought I have is that I always wanted my death to count for something, to either give my life for someone else or […]
i’m feeling very unstable today. I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s like anxiety i guess, but without the active intensity part. I don’t feel “nervous” or “frightened” or anything like that… just very lethargic and scattered… like oppressively lethargic, to the point where i’d struggle to do anything physical at all. I should cut the grass, but i feel so… “weak and powerless,” and completely disinclined, like i just don’t give a shit. I’ll probably go do it right after this, and it’ll probably suck as much as i remember… but that’s not what’s stopping me. I don’t mind doing it, but […]
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
I know that it feels like a good way out of the bullshit that life throws at you. but its the cowards way out. suicide has never helped anyone. and i know you dont want the world to see you but you are a beautiful person and you cant see it. you just cant see that there is a place beyond the bullshit. there is a place just on the brink of perfection and you will get there one day. the world is going to change whether its for better or for worse there will always be that happy place but killing yourself will only […]
…when everyone wants a Mountain.
Being a Foggy Mist, when everyone wants a Flood.
Becoming a Flood, when everyone wants Sunshine.
Becoming Sunshine, when everyone wants The Night.
Becoming The Night, when everyone wants The Dream.
Striving to become The Dream, but becoming The Reality.
Realizing The Reality is made of the act of flowing through the stream of striving to appease ever changing requirements…
To become The Mountain no River could ever Be.
Everyone wanted a Mountain to Climb, but all i could ever do was Be Water, and flow down, to ultimately be absorbed into, and washed away by, The River of Deceit… and to eventually be deposited into the Sea, […]
If anyone wants to talk to someone. I don’t care what time or hour Skype me danyiel.arkady if I don’t get back to you in time please give me time.
Ive been to the darkest depths and I stand where I stand now because of my difficult journey. I know you have it in your heart, bc every word you speak says it. Cause deep down inside you know this can’t be life. So lets talk and day by day get through it together. I promise…dont hesitate hit me up.
With that being said Im willing to put my heart into it if your willing to try…
been extremely depressed lately.. feels pretty bad if anyone wants to talk just message me
So, past few weeks have been hell. I have been having extreme bursts of anger/violence. It isn’t me, it isn’t me at all. I’m a good girl and now… in less than two weeks time I was taken to ER in handcuffs in back of cop car (released same night) I had to talk to a therapist in a cheap hospital gown naked. I’d rather they strapped me in the chair as long as I would’ve got to keep my clothes on.
Anyways, cut to this morning … my dad was in my room and called me names and screaming and what have you… he barricaded […]
I’ve been that one guy who sits alone in the back of the class the guy who sits alone st lunch and why? Well the answer is obvious everyone hates me. Everytime I try to talk to someone I get this strong feeling they don’t want to be around me then again who would I’m a complete waste of space I’m only on this damn blog so my friend the only person who cares will know that I’m alright honestly I’m sick of being everyone’s punching bag it dosent matter where I’m at some asshole will open his mouth then everyone’s saying something about me […]
If anyone wants to talk about something, anything, please send me a message somehow. I feel like I’m about to break and I don’t know what I’ll do. So please. Someone, anyone.
I am here for anyone that wants help. I am good at giving advice, and I’ve been so low in the past I strongly considered suicide. If anyone needs help let me know..peace, respect, love
It’s been a while since I came on here before yesterday, and my taste has changed and I can feel the zopiclone entering my brain right this moment so odds are I won’t be able to spell check. I was just looking for him. We never spoke much but I saw him around helping people and saying profound things and I really respected him and admired his impac
t. Is he still going? Is he alive? Umm.. wow, this stuff is more powerful than I remember. Shame I don’t get hallucinations. Anyway has anyone seen him? I miss him.
Dawg, if you’re reading this. We […]
especially at work. I was talking to my friend who’s a cashier, and I ended up telling him that a friend of mine said I should start dating again. Apparently my ex was listening in and now he’s all sad and pissy with me because he think’s I’m over him. I’m BEYOND over him. What I’m wondering is why he gets to have an opinion, when I wasn’t allowed to care that he kept telling me that the barista at the starbucks where we had our first date is hot, and how his friend in las vegas thinks he’s cute and wants to go and […]
Today’s been rough… ex gf is giving me hope… I dunno if it’s false hope… I guess I don’t fully trust her… I know I even just want to be in the same room as her… hear her voice again… just like I have for the last 2 years… even when I was living in my SUV… just call and hearing her voice made it better… i think that’s what it means to love her… I dunno… is that enough? She got a new guy there… it’s only been a week… he’s sleeping in MY bed… he’s sitting on MY couch he’s eating off MY […]
Yep…I’m losing hope. Again. I can only pray that next time I attempt suicide I succeed, in the hope that I don’t have to exist anymore. Who wants heaven or hell? It’s bullshit. I want to just not exist.
People can just really screw you over sometimes. Each and every person is capable of being disloyal, dishonest, fake, or cruel. so why take the risk? If there is any possible chance that someone will leave or lie or whatever, why go to them for help?
Youre all you’ve got in the world.
Theres nothing that scares me more than the word “alone”. Whenever I hear this, my heart speeds up a bit. I think that’s my biggest fear: being alone. But I am. I can’t trust anyone but myself. And I can’t even trust myself in some situations. It’s terrifying. I am unpredictable. And maybe that […]