okay, i am 14 years old and have ben hurting myself for 2 years. i have never be able to quit for over 2 months. i have no idea why i do the things i do. i have tried commiting suicide three time but all fails. i started taking medication to help but it did nothing, therapy, nothing. every try failed. even god, i asked him, and nothing. i feel like no one can help, im just so unloveable, weak, ugly and stupid. i hate myself so much. and if i didnt whine like alittle ***** maybe things would be better……i have a great life […]
Tag:
Weed
Oke. So last night one of my friends asked me if I wanted to join her to travel through Thailand for a month in the summer. I was looking myself for things to do in the summer. I don´t want to stay here, thats for sure. I thought maybe visit some family in Greece, but thats, just the same as always.
I would love to travel to Thailand actually. I would love to go to Australia and New zealand too, but that would be a different trip. Ive been talking about travelling and adventures my entire life, but since five years I guess (since the weed) […]
I still don’t understand why…. Why did you do it? How could you? Why does it seem to affect me so much yet you’re fine? Why does it hurt me so much but sound so stupid to others? Why am I going crazy like this? What triggered it? And why? I don’t know. And it bothers me. Too many fucking questions and absolutely NO answers.. What the fuck am I to do? what the fuck am I to think? Why am I so fucking anxious? I can’t think straight, i’m nervous, shakey, I feel like if I am tweaked the fuck out or something.. Restless, […]
Why am I such a stupid fuck? I really cant stand myself. 2 hours by myself and I’m “in a mood” again. Wasn’t even contemplaiting suicide this morning because I was working a bit and suddenly, like a fingersnap, I just want to die. I remember that I despise myself. And that I’m the most disgusting monster on the planet.
I like being by myself, because I can do whatever I want. But I guess I really need distraction. Especially if I havent smoked weed yet. Thought I should smoke less so I didnt smoke yet. (no thats a lie I tell myself, I didnt earn […]
Just saying, but I never really was into poetry. I’m sorry if I say things wrong, have horrible grammar or any other mistakes as I am currently high on weed.
Now then, with that cleared up, I’d like to bring back what I might talk about right now. I am absolutely in love for my cousin and want to be with her. My friend finally hooked me up with the hubby bars I wanted as you can see. I hate the poetry on here.
Since weed is considered a truth serum (used in the 1920’s by cops on mobsters to find all the drug […]
Ive been trying to type how I feel, but I just cant get my thoughts straight. I have this very often. I know what I want to say. And in my head I hear the exact sentence, I just cant get it of my lips. And its not only when talking about emotions, I also have it when I’m just in the middle of a random conversation. Like my brain kind of just stops and I just cant get the words out. The feeling of having something on the tip of your tongue, only difference is that I know what I want to say but […]
I have no happiness anymore. I have no motivation. No attention to school. No reason to live. This is my lowest point, and I can’t feel better. I just absolutely lost the will. My mind is filled with thoughts on life and a constant need to figure out the meaning of life. I guess I need to be high in order to be normal and to function. My cousin Jasmine and I haven’t seen each other in a long while. I am still in love, but love isn’t the meaning of life so there goes my will, especially since she’s my cousin so I can’t […]
Stupid fucking iphone keeps fuckig crashing wont let me go to sp im so fucking pisssed of it just wants me to choke out and cut myself just to taste it fuck u piece shit i fuckmin hate you. Why cant i be eith jasmine fuck u. I need some fuckig weed you ****** this aint helping me i bet fucking safari is gonna crash n my iphone is gonna be completely smashed by morning fuck. Wheres my fucking hubby bars. You favgot i wanna grab a nife n test out cutting i just might witg this mugh anger inside me im so irritated and […]
Hi People! Again its me! no joke… i dont write that often x)
anyways! this night, high again but this time on speed… thinking about some things ive done
today for a change i went to my moms place to see her (ya she kicked me out umm.. 1 month ago) so yaa i went to see her to pick clothes and my guitar and also talk and mayb arrange things… abviously she talked to me in a bitchy way this made me FUCKING angry i tried to calm down but i started replying back in a stupide way to joke around (btw i was […]
I hate mondays. It’s the worst day in the week. After a good weekend, then you have to wake and meet early. I hate it !
I think I wanna skip school today. Lie all day on the couch and smoke some good weed.
What about you. What are you up to on this boring Monday?
i didnt say i was a straight up g..
im not perfect you can think what you thik of me..
there is knobody i am trying to be ..
i am only my self and myself can see ..
that im looking at the clock and its 4:20
and its time to rip a toke of some nice weed
and its her only escape .. its how she copes..
she has a hard day and she rips another toke
it gives her a smile
a high for a while
a happy feeling you get but in denile
now listen up im on a mission
im gonna fix this situation
you better not be disrepsecting
me cuz i know im […]
I’m not the kind of person to tell someone about my bad day. Or how shitty and downhill my life’s going. I’m not the kind of person that can tell you that suicide crosses my mind everyday. I dont want to end up in a mental hospital, but i know i am crazy. I have fallen so far in this deep hole called depression that is overloaded with dirt and is slowly suffocating me. What are you supposed to do when that happens? I hate my life, and i’m still so very young. I smoke cigarettes, and weed, and nothing will ever escape me from this […]
I don’t feel comfortable talking about my life, even behind a veil of anonymity. Not yet any way, But after a long road i’m now living with my Girlfriend, going on 2 weeks now. We’ve been together 10 months. 10 months of only seeing each other every other weekend, so its a nice change.
I thought i got over this a while ago, after 3 attempts and a long spiral everything seemed to be looking up. i joined the Navy(Â i was later separated because I “might” have ADD( their words not mine) i at least tried, which is much more than many others can say. […]
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