I lie awake at night and i think back when i saw razor blades and i was tempted to buy one. But i decided not too. I look back and think to myself “Why did not I buy it? Why did i stop myself” And i thought to myself there are no heroes, no one will save you from your depressing life. You have to be your own hero and save yourself. Because no one else will, and no one else will try, and as i lay here in bed i think to myself ” I am my own hero and I will save myself”
i really love her.i don’t know what i should do.she has left me and it has been few days since days.i tried a lot to hate her.but i am not able to do that.oh jesus please i can wait for her my whole life but please tell her to come back to me….i love her.i love you and i really do.
i can’t even talk with her because i know what she is going to tell me.she is just going to tell me that she doesn’t have feelings for me and that is really going to hurt me badly.that is why i have just cut all […]
I’ve felt the same way my whole life. When I see anything, hear anything, or think about anything in the world, it makes me feel pain and anger. I have no idea why.
I’m also angry at my parents for things they did that they no longer do. I hate my mom still for having always implied things, and for hitting me and telling me to kill myself and blaming me for my dad’s sickness and whatever. She doesn’t do it anymore, but when she tries to talk to me, I feel enraged. It’s uncontrollable. I just think about random things she’s done: and the […]
I am Ammoniacku and i am 21 and live in Eastern Europe.
I suffer from OCD and depression. In fact i have been anxious and depressed my whole life. You wanna know why? I am just bored beyond anything by people, in fact even writing this message bores me to death.
I find most people boring and they are turned off by my sarcasm and humour and in fact i think most humans are phony. In  fact, i declare myself the Holden Caulfield of eastern europe. I hate all social cliques, i am bored beyond my mind by the college i am doing, i have no skills […]
This morning I looked outside and all I saw was snow. You may think: “Is that special?? O.o” Well, I can tell you: yes, it is. Because in The Netherlands we don’t really have severe winters or often snow. So when there is snow, it’s special. Especially when it’s like 6 inches, like today. I had to go to my part-time therapy (from 9 am till 3 pm every monday till friday) and luckily my father brought me. There was like more than 1000 kilometers of traffic jam, a new record! (on a normal tuesday in the morning it’s around 300 kilometers) and we also […]
The mistake that most people make when committing suicide is a total lack of planning and just acting on the spur of the moment. Under those circumstances it is no wonder that things do not go as expected. I am not telling you to not do it, but rather examine your desires to end it all and thoroughly research the method of dispatching yourself. Don’t rush the process, you have your whole life ahead of you to decide when to end it all. 😉
You do not want to wake up in a hospital bed with half your head blown off. If you think that you had problems […]
Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.
My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:
Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia […]
My whole life I’ve always thought of  myself to be this “good girl”. Like success was the only option and I was so confident that I’d get the whole “storybook” lifestyle. And I’m not someone who believes things are handed to you so I knew there would be some hardships but I just don’t think anyone should go through such constant disappointments. I think I’ve reached my limit, I’ve completely lost myself. Nothing I do makes any sense to me But I just can’t stop it. I just want to be happy, but I never can. I’ve always been a good student but I’m flunking […]
I’m broken and alone. Told my whole life that I’m not worth anything. I know I’m worthless. Not good enough no matter what I do. But I’m so alone. I’ll never be whole.
I can’t be without you so how can I live?
You don’t love me anymore, so it’s my life i’ll give..
I don’t enjoy my life. I havent suffered a major tragedy or anything, I just dont enjoy it. I dont like my body but seem unable to change it. I’m tired ALL the time. Completely unmotivated. A job I cant stand. Friends who all have their own families and things going on. Always worrying about bills and how I’ll get by. And I just dont see it changing. I mean, I really dont.
This isn’t an emotional decision, it’s a logical one. I have thought and thought about it. If I dont enjoy my life and I dont see it getting better, why shouldn’t I just […]
hello i posted here before once and got some good advice…but im feeling like ending my life more then ever. Everything ive worked on to become more optimistic and happy just seemed like a waste of time its gotten to the point where  ”smiling”  has become a chore. Ive tried to work on my family relationships to be happier and to be more social for them but they constantly remind me how pathetic i am i mean my gran would open the door to people and openly say ”this is my pathetic excuse of a grandson i couldnt be more ashamed to be his grandmother” and  my mother constantly reminding me how […]
I know I’m gonna get judged for this,but I’m a drug-addict and have been for 20 odd year. Because i’m a heroin addict its impossible to get help for my depression,which was there before I got into heroin at the age of about 18. I started off with the usual recreational party drugs,but quickly descended into harder drugs and its ruined my whole life..
I am now 36,I was of all drugs for 11months a few years ago but stupidly ended up back on them. I started self-harming when i was 14,went right of the rails etc.
I’ve now got to the point I don’t want to […]
I don’t feel like committing suicide. I’m a Born again Christian. But I am feeling overwhelmed. And I have a lot of anger in me for some reason. I pray I don’t hinder anyone by what I am about to write.
People say to reach out when you are feeling down, but most people are to busy or don’t understand I think.
People may think that pointing the finger, and telling you what you are doing wrong is helpful, in this state of mind it’s not. A hug or a high five on what your doing right is helpful.
Anti depressants or the magic pill as i call […]
I have battled depression since I was 14 and have had multiple failed suicide attempts. Â Recently I have come to realize how messed up society is and that because my father has hovered over me my whole life, none of my achievements are mine they are all just his in my name. Â I am failing half of my classes at school and I am definitely not going to graduate. Â Knowing my father my life is just going to end up being a giant hell hole. Â I just want to die and stay dead this time.
My parents started to fight ever since I could remember. Â My father was abusive to my mother, not to me though. Still he screamed at me, kept me up all night telling me I was just a kid. HE broke chairs, smashed the house, broke my stuff, and hurt my mother very badly. I joined drama class at school, and he told me I couldn’t act. He crushed my dreams, and makes me feel worthless. All of my school days I have been bullied. The called me names, took away my jacket when it was cold, called me a lesbian, a wore, a fucking loser, […]
So sick and tired of life. It’s a miserable existence day after day, seven attempts this year and no avail, looking for number eight.
Lost my job, my baby, my marriage, my home….I’m an alcoholic, unemployed, lonely, just don’t want to go on any further.
Don’t want to live with my diagnosis either, I’ll never have a normal life, normal relationship, no nothing. I’ve lost my chance at love, there’s no chance for happiness, my life is an absolute joke.
I’ve got my plan in place and a time…don’t bother with the whole “life is precious” or “God wants you to live”, because if there really is […]
There is someone who bullies me. Someone who teases and taunts and tortures me. That bully is me.
No matter what I do, I notice a flaw in me. I’m stupid, ugly, fat, and friendless. No one listens to me. I doubt my parents even care about me. Whenever I try talking to them, they don’t even bother to understand my problems. I can’t talk to my brother. He has autism and wouldn’t understand anything. My ‘friends’ are fake, as fake as a Barbie doll. No matter how hard I try in school, there are always people who do better than me. I hate comparing myself […]
Life to me is just unhappiness i dont like being here really… Nobody has done anything to make me feel this way i just dont see the point in a meaningless unhappy life full of anger and depression… Im 14 and most people just say to me that i will be fine its just school and its stressful but school isnt a problem at all. I have friends and family that care about me but i never seek help from them because i dont like contact with other people, i like being alone by myself so i lock myself away.
I constantly question myself about my […]
It’s been a brutal semester. I just need to get this out, so I can concentrate on completing my final paper. I’m feeling tremendously overwhelmed. Failure weighs heavily, on my mind, I got kicked out of university my first year, I took too many classes, yes my parents pressured me, but I could have said no and I missed the deadline to withdraw without penalty. One of my friend’s had the same problem and she found out we could talk to the dean, I didn’t show up for my appointment with the dean because I believed all the things I had ever heard about myself […]
I really don’t understand. Nothing affects me like my father. I’ve had my brother tell me he is so disappointed in me, that I am selfish and immature, that I abuse the ones I love with what I do, that all I care about is attention-seeking, that I’m going to fail in life. I’ve had my mother tell me that she simply can’t believe that I am not doing this to hurt her. That my cutting, that my suicide attempts, that even my physical illnesses like my catatonic episodes where I ended up in Hopkins Neurology because I couldn’t move my body, that all of […]