We, as a country, have compassion for those who wish to end their lives due to ongoing physical pain or a terminal illness. Many support euthanasia in these circumstances. Why not with terminal mental health issues? Ongoing psychological pain?
a lot of things are going wrong but i can’t blame anyone but myself for all that. it’s amazing how close to peace i feel when i contemplate killing myself. “why not do it today?” is a thought that crosses my mind almost daily, today being no exception. i should just do it. get it over with. stop thinking so hard about plans and letters and waiting for a day when everyone’s out of the house. i don’t care anymore. why waste any more time? i should just do it today.
So my escape plan is currently in action I can slowly feel myself becoming happier my consciousness is slowly fading so thought fuck it anyone wanna chat? >.<
i was accepted to Stanford.
everyone is happy.
So why not me?
pressure pressure pressure
I don’t want to go to medical school.
I don’t want to live other people’s expectations, dreams, morals.
Heading towards Oregon and I’ve never felt so free.
Ive been suicidal my whole life.
All I wanted was freedom and it was waiting for me right outside my door this whole time.
I finally listened to my instincts and went against odds.
The only thing I want to say to people who are unhappy- is just to do what’s makes you happy on your our own means.
follow your instincts.
and so the adventure begins.
There is no more reason to continue. I see no more hope.
My friends are gone.
I’m about to loose my brother.
People are out to humiliate me.
Today I lost my job, because I got angry about the abuse of equipment (they haven’t got that big a budget).
I don’t know how to continue anymore. People simply don’t care about me anymore. There’s only so much caring I can do until I need some care back, from wherever it comes. It hasn’t come for a while now.
My heart feels like it’s shredded, burned and trampled on. My life just keeps getting more and more worthless. When I’m gone, nobody will notice anyway, so why not kill myself? I’m so tired. The reigns over my life are slipping one by one from my hands. Why hold on anyway? What’s the use if all I get is pain?
Thought it was as good a day as any.
The day of love.
I class myself as a very loving compassionate person,
so why not also die on a day that represents me.
Some may have seen a positive post I wrote.
Well guess what? It didn’t last. All happy days must come to an end.
I haven’t been on here for a few days because I smashed my computer
so had no way of accessing this site.
I had a rage attack which ended in me attempting to end my life
but yet again was intervened.
So everyone, as much as I try to be positive and make others feel better,
I’m unable to do it for myself.
I hate myself.
I hate my life, just like all of you.
but i will be forced to anyway, because i simply don’t have the means to end it in a way that won’t fail spectacularly.
here’s the truth; i’m ugly, and i’m going to die alone. nobody’s ever going to love me the way i need to be loved. i tried loving myself but i just couldn’t. i can’t make peace with something i hate so much.
i look in the mirror and i see a monster, not a 19-year-old girl. i’m so grotesque.
so i figure, if i’m going to die alone and unloved anyway, why not make it happen sooner rather than endure the pain and loneliness of being ugly and unwanted for another 50+ years??
i can’t take this anymore.
Idk why, I lived for 20 years and always did what I wanted . The thing is, if after death is nothing,why not go into that nothing?
What could be more awesome than to return into the nothingness we came from.
There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.
But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.
I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.
I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel the need to, means I am going to have to eventually.
I don’t want to, but I have seen so much of the terrible side of this world, and I know I haven’t even scratched the surface and I know that the so-called positive things are ruses.
I feel it, physically. My breathing is not in any sort of rhythm. I’m not gasping, or in any way struggling to breathe, it’s just like my breathing and my heart are each out of sync. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I’m so tired of trying.
If I know that I’m going to do it someday, why not today? Or tomorrow. When?
Guys, I recently bought myself a mood ring (a ring that changes colour depending on your mood) and this just happens and that’s really cool:
So I was doing my homework when my mind started drifting off to my little imaginary world. I started daydreaming about my crush and I was imagining myself talking to her. Then after my daily trip to my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby, I turned back to my laptop and when I put my hands on my keyboard I noticed that the colour of my mood ring was changing. First it was dark blue, but now it was turning purple. I looked up what a purple mood ring stands for, and this is what it means: Love, Romance, Amorous, Heat, Mischievous, Dreamer, Sensual. That’s awesome, right?! Lol, I thought I’d share this with you guys, because why not? It was fun for me, so it might cheer some of you guys up. Mood rings are cool (and cheap for if you’re interested)
You know I’ve realized something
The more I think I’m bettering everyone else off, the more damage I do
For myself, but mostly others
They never get to feel what I feel
They never get to experience the love I have for them
I keep distorting everything I think life is supposed to be full of
And in order for my love to be shared I have to be here
I’m loving no one if I decide to leave
As badly as I feel, and as much as I believe the world won’t notice my absence, I won’t leave here until all my love is gone
And it’s not gone
Just gotta keep getting through one more day to see it
Above all, if you want to leave remember: fear crumbles to love
P.S. if you haven’t read this book (Perks of Being a Wallflower), go for it! *or at least see the movie
Life feels like this. When you were born it was like someone pushed you into the water. Maybe it would end up good, and you would enjoy the swim. Some might struggle to float or wouldn’t like being in the water. And for some other like me, there’s a hand pushing me down under the water, desperately wanting me to drown, but life went on and on without end, the hand keeps pushing down, and here I am just struggling to survive. But we all know, death will win in the end. Why not end it sooner?
Hello, whoever uses this site.
A few years ago, I used to post here. Sometimes quite regularly. I’m sat by myself in an empty room, and something possessed me to re-read all my old posts and I thought, why not update my life a little. I’m sure all the people who used this site when I did are gone, maybe even dead. But I do hope that there are still people here.
It’s been almost 2 years and one of the main changes in myself, is that I am appalling at explaining my feelings and emotions now. I am slightly jealous of my old selfs ability to write. It makes me realise that although I thought I was useless, I had a talent that has gone to waste. It upsets me greatly.
I don’t really know what else to say. My mind has become a lot less valuable and finds it challenging to do stuff like this now.
Anyway, I would be happy if someone left a comment. I’d like to know what sort of people use this site now.
Thanks for reading, if anyone does.
I’m staring at the new cut on my upper arm, and I’m numb. I’ve just finished writing a text so someone I thought I could trust, who chose a guy over my friendship, and I’m numb. I just dropped one of my courses, because I couldn’t handle a full-time course load, and I’m numb. Maybe I’ll never feel again. Or maybe tonight will be the night, and I won’t have to worry about the fact that my SSI will be there and gone on the 1st. Well, really, either way I’d never feel again. I think I’m out of tears. Pity. No one else will cry any for me. What the hell, why not? I should take my cats with me. Why on earth would I leave them to suffer the rest of humanity? They’ve done nothing to deserve that.
Gods, but I’m numb. This must be what it’s like to be neurotypical and not give a fuck about anyone else.
So I’ve been inspired. By a film that could be old or new or modern or whatever, that isn’t the point. The point is I’ve just seen it. It’s called ‘the long way down’. Anyone in the UK willing to travel around….Lets all meet, lets help each other or give time to each other or anything. Why not just met for a night, a drink, a meet. Why not just connect. If you have that ounce of hope, then run with it.
I really want to just end it all. Why not?
Wondering if anyone else here diagnosed with Dysthymia would be interested in an ongoing email conversation. Not about anything specific really, but i have a new theory that having a buddy in your phone (or on your computer) that knows exactly how you feel at times could be beneficial. I’d like to test this theory. I’m thinking if it works for addicts then why not depressives? If it’s more than one person, great. I figure we can just all cc each other. I don’t think it would work if it’s more than a few though.
If you’re a middle aged middle class working person like myself that would be great, but if not that’s perfectly fine too.
My name is Dave. I’ve made a new throwaway email account for the experiment: email@example.com
I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember – A Fake! Walking around…all smiles, but deep down I want to scream.I know, I know…gotta see the glass as half full and all. But then I ask why? I haven’t been suicidal but I’m also not “living the life”. I can try to pick myself up but at the back of my head I ask why. Its tiring. It seems I prefer to be a zombie. I dont have to talk that way. I don’t have to put up with pretenses. People pretending to care. People commenting on trivial shit because they feel the need to talk. Some would say then why not end it and stop complaining. Well I say fuck you…maybe I like it this way. Some would say i probably need a wake up call, a very hard kick into reality…well i say fuck you too…excuse me If I don’t have an abundance of feel good hormones.
I want to curl up on my bed and I dont need to make you happy simply because I can.
I don’t know why I have waited so long, and struggled so long to try to reclaim a life and a family that I will never get back. Three adult children who all hate me – none has spoken to me in a while. They say it is because they hate my husband of 22 years, but when I said I wanted to leave him – no one came forward to offer help, or a place to live. I have a monthly disability check, but I am afraid to just walk out. If I do, I loose everything, so I have arrived at a place where if I am going to loose it all anyway, why not just take an easy out. I can’t stand the verbal abuse any longer. I have tried suicide before – twice – but failed at both attempts. Older and wiser now and see my mistakes. Third time is the charm. I hope my children are happier.