I don’t want to die. I don’t. I want a normal, happy life so bad. But I know that I will never have one. I’m 45, divorced, no children, unemployed for 2 years, My career is over. I live with my mom. I’m beyond lonely. Women won’t have anything to do with me. My money is gone. I wake up every morning scared to death. Any hope at salvaging a normal life is gone. I purchased a gun yesterday with the last money I had. God help me!! I’m so scared!!!!!
Tag:
women
Box of terror and fear and double-standards and self-loathing and discrimination and thumping and rejection
According to a certain book of love, you can own slaves, capture hot women and make them your wives (a.k.a rape them and call it marriage), force your wife to swallow dust to ensure fidelity (if she fails, you can kill her), tear open pregnant women’s stomachs if they don’t agree with you, burn to death a sinful man’s property (a.k.a his children)… there’s a few others.
I’m not discriminating against Christianity – there’s nothing wrong with it, nowadays. Many Christians today are pretty kind. But look at that friggin’ source content. […]
A man wakes up one Sunday morning drinks his routine cup of coffee, eats breakfast, and finds himself compelled to visit his local church. He hasn’t been to church in over ten years but for some reason feels compelled to go for some strange reason. This is odd because he is deathly afraid to step foot in a church because he simply fears the awkward confrontation he knows will happen. In some ways this fear stems from feelings of guilt for leading an average life stewed with simple guilty pleasures like infidelity and casual substance abuse. Mostly he fears atoning for what he feels the […]
“You have broken my heart more times then the fingers on my hand can count. Yet I still carry you. You, a master whose eye have strayed for a moment on a servant such as I. All the beautiful women fought for your affection, an affection that was cast upon me. My scarred body no longer produced deep angry red cuts. You had run the demons away. Alas I am a lowly servant not nearly as beautiful as they who are your equal. Now I lay here with fresh scars without so much as a glance from you. I no longer hold your heart and […]
Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]
tired of my pain
tired of this place
tired of clenching my teeth at night, tired of his voice, tired of the cold hard floor and the lousy couch bed, tired of being a woman beaten to a pulp turning her strength against herself, tired of rosaries and patriarchal religions, tired of men who dont care, tired of the demons, tired. tired of them having kind parents. tired of the thoughts. tired of the anxieties so deep they prevent you from doing anything at all, tired of being afraid, tired of this draining, loud, triggering, horrific life i lead, tired. tired of pretending, tired of the four […]
Woman in my mind; she is in my dream.
My dream wakes me in to my life; the women in my mind returns in form of a dream.
Liberated from my dream, she is in my mind. My mind is on the woman in my dream.
Never leaves my mind – she needs to leave my mind, make my dream my life.
She needs to be in my life; on my mind.
I am a 37 year old male. I’ve had major depression since I was 13. Effexor is no longer working, and I do not see the point in continuing to increase the dose. It worked for a while, limiting very frequent thoughts of suicide to less frequent thoughts of suicide. I’ve never tried to kill myself, because I don’t want to hurt people who love me. Living for the past 24 years is like doing the dishes all the time. I perceive life as a complete waste of time and effort. Pop culture’s advertisement of life is unrealistic and even more boring than my life. […]
I long for the touch of a woman, a woman near my own age. I don’t understand people who say that age doesn’t matter. Age does matter. If you are in it for young sex or the money perhaps that is different. I am not that kind of man. I do not want any younger women lets say under 45 because I am 57. It is not fair to the woman since I will not be alive for a long time like her. I would not want her to deal with the sadness and heartbreak that may come with a dead boyfriend/husband. She may also […]
Hi everyone,
I just want to say that
fuckably suicidal is totally in fashion, check out the latest issue of vogue. plasticine earth destruction ultra HoTT,
more thought into fitting in than anything else,
Normality
Objectification of women, wonder what it’s like to have a penis?
Or a soul?
My name isn’t Vincenzo. Existential criseses, crisii;
rudimentary peni,
We all get what we deserve.
Isn’t that the case? Then humanity, then me,
then I,
heard a rumor about there being hope
kit kat wrappers desoulate crumpled can of Natty light
shotgun blast in the garage, understandable
functional toddlers and tiaras , advanced degree of vapidity
Wiki Social Avoidant Personality Disorder & there’s my life.
I have a genetic predisposition to social anxiety, as my dad told me he almost joined a monastery for this reason. I have early childhood emotional neglect from physical abuse, verbal abuse, & hours of forced solitude. Absent father, he was going to college. I have extreme peer group rejection, lost almost all my highschool friends right after due to an incident with ecstasy.
Everyone thinks I look OK. That’s because I’m good looking, I’m healthy because I know cardio & lifting reduces stress, as I have anger problems thanks to both genetics & upbringing again. I’m great […]
Hello everyone, I guess I will start this off by introducing myself. My name is Adam. I guess I should start at the beginning. Growing up, I was a pretty lonely kid. I was the typical black sheep and outcast. I remember one time when I first started school. Every kid in the class had to choose a partner to play with, and of course I was the only one left without one. Anyway, it didn’t really bother me then. When I turned 8, my mother and father split up. My mother had custody. She was more interested in girlfriends than men. Long story short, […]
I have listened to the advice given on my last post, which was quite a while ago. I have been hoping that getting another dog would make me more happy. I believe that she has. She loves me and I love her. The sad part is that she is my only true friend in this world. At the same time I have been trying to chat to women my own age. They do not seem to be interested in me. The only women who are would be very young women. They do not need to be with me because they have their whole life ahead […]
Hey guys, I feel like I haven’t been on here in ages. I just spent my whole weekend founding an organization and building a website and social media pages for it. A lot of you know how difficult my life has been since my husband passed away last November. And it’s not been for lack of trying or anything, just lack of money and a support network.
Well, that being said, I founded the Young Widow Fund. There are oodles of younger women and men who have lost their spouses and have been left to just flounder due to circumstances that are out of their control. […]
I don’t know if I’m a lesbian or just confused. I’m in a relationship with a man. We’ve been together for a long time. But lately everything feels fake. I don’t know if I’m attracted to the idea of lesbianism, if I want a clever and easy word to describe myself, or if I’m just tired of all these men chasing after me. Sometimes I think about women when I’m with my boyfriend. I hate that. I wish I could give him what he needs, but I don’t feel adequate. I wish I was better. I wish I was more nice and less selfish. But […]
I worked myself stupid last year for an organization that was going under. I literally spent 56 hours working with no breaks and no sleep. You would think that the women who profited from my work, would spare an hour to come to my birthday celebration? Fuck. They don’t even have to come for an hour. Just show up and say hi. That’s all. I really wish I could articulate how hurt I am that I will be spending my 21st birthday…alone. What is the point of working hard on relationships if there is no gain to them? Why kill myself worrying over if i’m […]
I am a 40 year old male and I have never been in a relationship. All my life I have been abused and neglected and girls just don’t talk to me. I guess I’m one of those skinny, “creepy”, whiter than normal people who people, especially women feel pity for. And that is all I seem to get from the women who drive by with their boyfriends and husbands in this shitty town out in the middle of nowhere. My work history is really not that good so I can’t seem to get a job and all I live on is a dim hope that […]
I wish I was a Blonde, that way I’d have something to match my stupidity down to a tee. I feel that people wouldn’t expect as much from me if they saw I was Blonde. I also wish I was a trust fund baby who didn’t need to work a day in her life. I wouldn’t mind taking shit for it, because I’d be too rich to care. People say I can be pretty smart, but I don’t see it. My grammar sucks; I don’t know a thing about it, honestly. I just repeat what I see from reading. And about reading, it takes me […]
I am 56, soon 57 in a few weeks. I am lonely. I have a 25 year old son, who hardly ever comes to visit me. A woman lived with me for many years. She was my girlfriend. I found out that she cheated on me twice. That day I found out, she came home, but I told her that I wouldn’t give her any more chances, and to pack up her things and remove them from my house and leave, because I did not want to be cheated on anymore. It hurt me to do this to her, but it hurt even more being […]
I’m a 28 year old Canadian male and drawing a blank on what to do with the rest of my life. I have a high school diploma, full-time job with 8 years of experience(sorting mail and making photocopies), perfect sized apartment in an upscale neighborhood and got a bargain on rent price, no women/children/pets/infirmed family to worry about except for my 14 year old brother who I tutor 3 times a week. My friends all live within 20 minutes and I see them 3-4 times a month.
I can’t think of anything else that I want, so why bother going on? I could get a girlfriend, […]