Tag:

worse

Not good but better

by gadfly 9/17/2014

written by gadfly

Things are still pretty bad inside my body. My head and heart hurt really bad, but not as bad. I want to go on Facebook and say I want to die, not because I’m planning suicide but because this feels really serious to me. But I don’t need a 72 hour hold and I think all the “buck up camper” replies I’ll get would make me throw up.

I’m frightened that I’m never going to be able to function at a job. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I can’t keep giving my all over and over again only to […]

9/17/2014 1 comment

Sometimes is so difficult

by Abg 9/17/2014

written by Abg

Hello everyone, I’m 35, and I had deal with my fair share of depression since my teen years, but the crises didn’t last for long, but two years ago my mother passed away from cancer, my brother and I took care of her trough the whole disease it lasted for two years being the last 3 months of her life the most miserable ones, I tried to prepare myself to deal with her dying and the mourning phases but it has been already two years and the sadness keeps creeping up, it has been almost a month in which I have seriously contemplated the idea […]

9/17/2014 0 comment

Fired again

by gadfly 9/16/2014

written by gadfly

I can’t seem to do it. I have adhd. I get jobs and I try hard and in the end it’s always the same. I’m not going to kill myself because I know how it would screw up my kids, but I really want to die. I thought this time would be different. I got an ADHD coach, and I worked harder than I ever have to keep everything together. I loved my work. I kept a positive attitude.

i feel so hopeless. I’m so tired of feeling defeated. What’s it like to be good at something? Yes I want to kill myself. I just can’t.

lots […]

9/16/2014 5 comments

by 21299__ 9/14/2014

written by 21299__

I’ve been depressed for the past three years of my life. No one knows about it but me. I’ve have scars all up my wrists but that doesn’t seem enough anymore these days and now more than ever I truly do want to die. Most people who are depressed actually have real issues. I dont . The only problem is myself I can’t seem to get out of this hole that I’ve dug for myself. I feel so stupid and I hate every aspect of myself I feel like every day I fail. I used to have close friends but they always seemed to make […]

9/14/2014 9 comments

by icanonlygiveyoume 9/13/2014

written by icanonlygiveyoume

I see people on this website and how their problems are far worse than mine, and I want them to be happy. I want to cheer them up. I click the comment button, but as soon as I start to type, my mind blanks out. How can I help other people when I can’t even help myself?

(Not proofread, I lose the guts to post the stuff if I do)

xoxo,

It’s Only Me

9/13/2014 5 comments

A tree is typing

by annakarenina 9/13/2014

written by annakarenina

Have you ever felt like a tree whose branches can not stretch out? The other seeds that were born along with you grow up as humans and you are the only one who actually a tree. People ask your protection when the sun is hot, or simply ignoring you. I kinda assure myself from time to time that ‘Well! It’s finally normal now, but then you see things become worse again and you feel you’re suck again and sick of it.’ It is more or less like an eternal death or a time paradox. There are blind people, homeless ppl, deaf ppl, and I have this […]

9/13/2014 0 comment

FML

by This_iz_me 9/11/2014

written by This_iz_me

This is one of those nights where I feel like ish won’t go right…. I tried to keep telling myself things could be worse. But in reality … If it got any worse I just wouldn’t be able to make it…. Tonight I just wanna cry… But the tears don’t mean anything… Because no one cares… I don’t even care anymore… #FML

9/11/2014 4 comments

Never Easy

by DayDreamer6 9/10/2014

written by DayDreamer6

A family who constantly makes things worse for you. Call you harmful names that push you over the edge every night.

Friends who see what’s happening to you but never speak up. No matter how many hints you give they will never help.

Teachers who see you struggling but look the other way.

Coworkers who see your smile fading each day yet never ask questions.

Why?

9/10/2014 7 comments

Mad and crumbling

by cheeseball 9/7/2014

written by cheeseball

I am waiting.

I’m feeling super pissed now. I know. I’ll eventually crumble. I’ve always hated the end of the year. Worst. Memories ever.

I’m waiting.

For a worse memory to appear. For my anger and rage to dissipate, to be replaced by an abyss of hopelessness and regret. To be replaced by self hate. To push everyone away from me, from my own incompetence in life. To be angry at myself for doing so and repeat the whole cycle.

I’m waiting.

For a time where my life does not have this cycle. I wish I could kill people, but first I’d kill myself.

I’m waiting.

Till I am called by my […]

9/7/2014 2 comments

I need a friend

by SOrmerod 9/7/2014

written by SOrmerod

I’ve been alone in my depression my entire life. I’ve got social anxiety so I’m basically a recluse. My depression is treatment resistant. The longest a medication has worked for me is two months before it stops and needs to be changed. To add to it I get the worst side effects. Uncontrollable muscle movements slurred speech and worse. I can’t take life anymore. I need a friend and a hug and someone to just hold me while I cry. It just doesn’t end. With everything going bad in my life I want to die so bad but I’m too big a coward to kill […]

9/7/2014 14 comments

Now what?

by TheRoadSoFar 9/6/2014

written by TheRoadSoFar

I haven’t been here in a while, since I have had a period of happiness. Or at least I thought I had it.
I recently got into highschool. I decided to change schools, since everyone in my past school were either complete idiots or were indifferent with my existence (my so called friends). I always felt alone and depressed. And it was worse when someone was with me, saying things like “I’m there for you”. It hurt the most because those were fake words, and people just could say them like if it was nothing, and then they could just walk away, making me feel […]

9/6/2014 7 comments

I’m new here and I’m looking to talk to someone

by DallasCT 9/6/2014

written by DallasCT

I need help understanding what is wrong with me because I only recently have been feeling more an more worse each day. If someone is out there to just hear me out and help me solve the issue, I would be so grateful. I can’t really afford therapy let alone tell my parents. Also I’m 18 if you were wondering.

9/6/2014 4 comments

only love will save me

by 45caliberdeath 9/6/2014

written by 45caliberdeath

I tried to kill myself last month. I had wanted to kill myself for several years now, but it wasn’t until last month that I found the intense suicidal drive to plan an almost certainly lethal attempt. It took around 15 days to go from the decision to getting to a place where I could actually do it. But when I got there, with my handgun and my suicide notes, I just couldn’t do it. I tried so hard to pull the trigger, but I wasn’t psychologically prepared to kill myself. I’d still rather be dead than alive, but I just don’t have the psychological […]

9/6/2014 5 comments

Reaching out

by lost 9/5/2014

written by lost

I’m in such a dark place right now. I hope maybe someone will be able to relate, and tell me I’m not alone. I’ve lost a friendship that was very valuable to me. Heartbreak, despair, despondence… this is my world right now.

Background: depression and suicidal thoughts (and attempts) since childhood; lengthy episodes of near-total isolation as an adult. A suicide attempt in my teens earned me a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, and I’ve spent nearly 2 decades complying with treatment – medication, intermittent periods of therapy, consistent check-ups.

A couple decades in, and nothing is working. The isolation, depression, loneliness… they’re getting worse all the […]

9/5/2014 17 comments

where to begin..

by XxXBeyondTheGraveXxX 9/4/2014

written by XxXBeyondTheGraveXxX

Let’s see where to start when everything is wrong

My life is a mess and it seems to just get worse

I try to work it out I try to fake a smile

Every time I see the shimmer of light

I get dragged back down into this darkness

Inside my chest is this hole that never seems to heal

Despite my efforts and my attempts it’s the same

Gashed open arms stapled shut

Medication overdose, drowning

Always being found before it’s to late

Dragged to the hospital yet another week

In solitary alone under suicide watch

Every attempt always the same

What’s the point of saving someone

Who doesn’t even want to be here in the first place

Why […]

9/4/2014 0 comment

a lot changed

by smusmu 9/4/2014

written by smusmu

when i first came here on this site i had a feeling, that most of persons here consider suicide as something right to do, the only thing to do. The only question was, how to do it. I was terrified. My brother commited suicide and thats why i came here in the first place. I wanted to know, how his minde worked, why he did it, by reading posts of other suicidal people. I thought it would help me with handling his death, but it made it worse,so it took a lot of courage to click on this page again today. But now I am […]

9/4/2014 2 comments

Life is truly pointless. Ending the suffering next year.

by loldude12 9/3/2014

written by loldude12

When I was a kid, everything was fine. Life seemed to special and worth it but as I grew up, all of that faded. As things started going a different way then what I had planned, I began to see the reality of this world. I am nothing more than trillions and trillions of cells smashed together with emotions attached. As much as I’ve cried my eyes out wishing there was a “god” or ANYONE for that matter that would save me. things have only gotten worse. I wish I was ignorant like 90% of the world that thinks our existence is worth anything. You […]

9/3/2014 2 comments

Has anyone ever…

by anomR 8/31/2014

written by anomR

Has anyone never let anyone in before. Not out of fear but simply not caring enough and then met someone who they thought walked on water and was prepared to die for. I love her so much, it’s been 10 months 3 weeks and 2 days since she left me. It’s not like I’m a loner or anything I know loads of people who love and care about me. I could get another girlfriend who’s more attractive. But there’s something about her, I just adore and I don’t know why. It doesn’t make any sense and isn’t logical at all. She has confirmed repeatedly she’d […]

8/31/2014 2 comments

Emotionally empty.

by anomR 8/30/2014

written by anomR

Hello everyone,

Just found this site and it’s brilliant. No one to talk to but here. I’ve always been pretty emotionally dead in side, not setting out to hurt people or anything just never really felt anything. Met this girl in my late teens and that all changed, I was madly in love and genuinely cared for another human being. Four years and a child who I adore. However then she starts going out drinking with new friends, I didn’t care until I kept catching her lying. One night she goes back with someone else and I kick through the door and the police remove me! She […]

8/30/2014 5 comments

curious

by mental-anguish 8/26/2014

written by mental-anguish

Wonder if anyone will ever read this? Long story, short I’ve been severely crippled in a motorcycle crash. Life for me has been changed drastically since I awoke from the coma. Life like this seems pointless however I have 2 children. Shit I can rant and rave about what the last 3 1\2 years have been like but what good will it do? I should have died that day, I don’t want to continue this way! I have guns but am too much of a ***** to pull the trigger on myself and would like to obtain ******** but I’m still trying to find a […]

8/26/2014 6 comments

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