Tag:

worse

Someone else’s hands

by Out of Phase 8/26/2014

written by Out of Phase

I want to take my life but I am too scared to do it. I’m not scared of what happens after. That part seems more of a comfort than anything else. I am more afraid of the act, of the pain in whatever method I chose or the consequence of failure of the attempt. I’m afraid of ending up a vegetable or worse that the people closest to me actually see me and I have to look them in the eye to answer their questions.

I wish there were clinincs that we could go to. You just walk in, fill out some forms, pass an evaluation […]

8/26/2014 2 comments

Unimportant

by AJokeOfFate 8/23/2014

written by AJokeOfFate

Caring isn’t an option for me, as much as I hate to say it. I can’t just look at someone and ignore their pain. Yes, I may be blind to it at first but as it becomes apparent to me, I feel it as my own. And that’s the one thing I truly hate myself for. Because I’m incapable to hold a grudge or to sabotage someone because of something they did to me. Forgiveness comes easy- almost too easy at times.
I wish I could distance myself from people like people have done to me. Honestly, it would be so much easier and my […]

8/23/2014 2 comments

Trapped

by TwistedSpace 8/22/2014

written by TwistedSpace

That’s how I feel. I want to die, but I feel stuck now. There are people who love me. People who want to see me get far in life. But I barely have any motivation to do anything. I don’t have a job, and I wasn’t able to graduate last year because of the sheer amount of days I missed from school. My ex is the total opposite of me. He has likes, wants, goals, and tons of motivation. He graduated high school last year, and took on a job at wal-mart to support his hobbies. I’m this person who’s dependent on medication and even […]

8/22/2014 12 comments

I Don’t Know What To Do

by weeknd 8/18/2014

written by weeknd

I’ve recently moved countries (From America to South Korea) and I know I’m depressed. Theres no doubt about it. I’ve been depressed since i was in 6th grade, so for about 3 years now. And I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to kill myself very soon. People tell me everything’s going to get better but for the past 3 years, everything has been getting worse and worse. I found out about the medicine ******** I believe, but I’m still working on how to get it. I’m 16 and I’ll obviously need a parents permission. I just want this process sped up. But i […]

8/18/2014 1 comment

26 Prozac calling my name

by Lexi 8/16/2014

written by Lexi

It’s a different kind of feeling.. Worse than the others.. Like a never ending tightness in your stomach. I don’t wanna kill myself I just wanna show everyone what there doing to me

8/16/2014 2 comments

One of those days…

by Still Lost 8/16/2014

written by Still Lost

My mood took a turn for the worse this morning. Maybe the reality that I can’t figure out how to end my pain without dying. I don’t know. But then I read posts from people who think they have all the answers to depression and mental illness… Well, it is a beautiful day here in San Francisco. My cats are adorable. I will try to smile and forget my pain for as long as I can.

8/16/2014 6 comments

Inadequate

by Remnant The Unbroken 8/16/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Not for anything but I’m so sick of feeling lonely and insecure and useless and inadequate. For once in my life I’d love to have a friend or a significant other stick with me and tell me that it’s going to be ok, that I have a life worth living. Sometimes I just have to be reminded, because the self pep talks are useless.

It’s probably extremely pathetic on my behalf, but I’ve recently started talking with my ex again. It’s stupid but I miss him. He’s married to an absolute ***** who’s driving everyone away from him, and I’ve warned him numerous times to get out […]

8/16/2014 2 comments

The Dead Walking

by apple21 8/15/2014

written by apple21

Dana-Christine Umanetz
“…I felt sad, because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something that nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.”

This is me I feel like this every day!

The last time I was on this site I was suffering with a sucidal mind and it’s come back. I just imagine the rafters and hanging off them. […]

8/15/2014 1 comment

I’m sorry. I don’t know.

by cheeseball 8/13/2014

written by cheeseball

I always have this urge, to hurt myself 1 way or another. But it’s always in my mind.

Before I sleep, I’ll imagine falling off the stairs, or even getting some mildly serious disease, enough to the hospital. On worse days, this’ll morph into funeral services for my own, or just methods in which I die and there are people around me.

Is it meant to be this way? This is my way of dealing with life? It feels so wrong, yet it sparks a feeling of warmth, love, peace and a sense of fitting in.

It it might seem superficial, but it’s my own way, right? It’s […]

8/13/2014 2 comments

jake

by madmare 8/13/2014

written by madmare

You are right foster care sucks and I was told that by a social worker when I considered giving up my son a couple years ago before an attempt at suicide. I just want you to be safe first and foremost. Many people grow up in extreme poverty and in homes that are very abusive. Those that survive are said to be resilient. We need to make you resilient, strong and hopefully happy. You can be and I know it. This may or may not work for you but when I get ultra depressed I watch documentaries about others lives especially those that suffered greatly […]

8/13/2014 1 comment

Changes

by Not typical 8/11/2014

written by Not typical

I’ve had a few good days. Better than before. The thoughts are still there. Who knows. I’ll just keep going for now. It’s strange to pretend this side doesn’t exist. Maybe this will go away eventually. I don’t want to think about it any more… Just feel better. Circumstances are changing…. For better or worse, we will see.

8/11/2014 0 comment

Suicidal tendencies

by tacomonkey287 8/11/2014

written by tacomonkey287

So it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I feel like I’m getting worse as the day passes by, voices are still telling me to give up and die. Last night I broke my chain of self harming. The last time I self harmed was a couple of months and that’s all I think about now, all I want to do is die, why can’t I be happy as I use to. There ain’t many issues happening in my life but I still experience a psychological war against myself. I just need out.

8/11/2014 0 comment

Ineedhelp

by numbconfused 8/6/2014

written by numbconfused

HELP!!! Please see the signs, i need help, support. I am sick, depression is killing me, slowly, surely. When I talk you ignore and pretend everything is fine. You judge and blame me for being weak. All those times I stopped crying and pretended I was fine, all those times I confused myself by not permitting myself to show emotion was because of you. I am afraid of sharing now. Most of the times I am numb I don’t know what I’m feeling or who i am. I have killed myself slowly emotionally, because when I needed help, understanding, sharing,love you didn’t give it to […]

8/6/2014 16 comments

UBERSPEW-I apologize in advance for the chunks

by misanthrope 8/6/2014

written by misanthrope

Very bad day. Holding on but its fucking excruciating.I feel burdensome and taxing to my kids… I can feel every emotional crime iv comitted or been the victim of inside my chest ,and I can see the bloody trail of abandonment ive left in my wake .If only.if only..IF ONLY ……….but theres no one for me anymore,and what right do I have to even imagine I can have another chance. Ive thought that once th kids are both in college,that I could be with someone again-but its delusional of me.Ive used all my chances up..I just want to walk out the door and into the […]

8/6/2014 6 comments

The worst of all…

by nozmoking 8/5/2014

written by nozmoking

– is being powerless. We know that nothing will ever change for some of us. We know the pain, whether physical, emotional or spiritual will become worse if nothing else. And here we are without the courage or the means to end what amounts to (at least for me) a useless existence.

Sure, a sea slug has some purpose but it lives without feeling or much thought. It sucks in the tiny organisms that sustain it until it can reproduce and eventually be consumed by something else. But isn’t it content in its purpose? Does it cry itself to sleep knowing the ultimate pain it will […]

8/5/2014 6 comments

Does therapy work?

by DawgMom 8/3/2014

written by DawgMom

Seriously. When you’re as depressed, unable to trust, wounded, afraid, anxious, angry, and lonely as many of us are, can we really be helped by a therapist? I used to think so but it almost seems like it makes things worse because the therapist thinks they want to help but have no idea what they’re in for. Once they find out they can’t handle it and start taking things personally and then react instead of guiding.

8/3/2014 3 comments

Beautiful Lies (Poem I suppose)

by I-dont-love-right 8/3/2014

written by I-dont-love-right

Soot filled lungs and fire in my veins.Exhale smoke and breathing in pain.The air is a curse, it keeps me alive. It could be worse, but I still wanna die. Institutionalized. Darkness clouded my eyes. I’m so sick of the same old lies. God please put the sun in the sky. Staccato bursts of pain and I cry. Little lines etched in my thigh. I keep whispering my beautiful lie, we keep saying our beautiful lie. I’m okay, yes, I’m just fine. I’m so sick of these same old lies.

8/3/2014 1 comment

I’m collapsing…

by derekgamer 7/31/2014

written by derekgamer

I’m an 19 year old boy who goes to college. I cant complain about my professional life. However, my social and specially my sentimental life is a mess…

Every girl i ever loved rejects me. I was bullied during my childwood so my self esteem never was very high, but all these rejections are turning it into a whole lower level.

When i entered college i said to myself that i will never fall in love during that time. that i was there only to learn and have fun. That promise didnt last more than a couple of months. i met this wonderful girl, a tiny little […]

7/31/2014 3 comments

I lost all hope now

by TheCorpsePrincess 7/31/2014

written by TheCorpsePrincess

So I posted a few night ago about my situation and now I feel worse. I stood up to my bf and he admitted to me that he was no longer in love with me anymore after 2 months of hiding it from me. And I knew something was wrong and he kept calling me crazy. And I’ve been depressed for so long now I’m sitting at home locked in my room staring at a bottle of pills wondering if I should swallow them or not. And it’s not because of my now ex bf. It’s because I’ve had so many fucked up things in […]

7/31/2014 11 comments

something ill never understand.

by Procel 7/30/2014

written by Procel

Why do people insist on celebrating the day you were pulled, kicking and screaming out of your mother, so much so that they do it every year. Why do we have to celebrate another year alive. Another year of underachieving and mistakes. Instead of moving forward with life i go backwards since last year. And this year its worse. Another year… Fuck it. Promised i wouldn’t ever see this birthday. Another promise gone…

7/30/2014 1 comment

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