I was raped when I was 12, but nobody knows about it I tried telling my parents but I ended up telling them I had lied because I blammed someone for it, who wasn’t who did it, it was my grandpa who raped me and I can’t seem to bring myself into telling my parents because I know they won’t believe me and I would be judge but every day I wake up wishing I was dead praying for cancer or a brain tumor, I’ve tried suicide before but all it did was make people judge me and make me feel worst, I play happy […]
Tag:
worst
Okay, so I know this is probably seen time and time after again. Some poor sap crying about how sad they are about their relationship issues. And normally I would be one of those people who would be quick to call the person out on their drama, but idk, its different for me. I’ve recently started coming out of the closet. I’m a guy btw. My parents were supportive. I’ve told a couple friends and they’ve been supportive. I’ve been dating this guy for the last 7 months and have fallen head over heals in love with him. He is so special to me. He’s […]
I want to find the way so I could talk to him, and tell him that
here everything’s worst. That my will is dead, that I would like
to have a change to hug him, I want everything to be as it was,
my life is so grey that the pain will never go away.
I want to remember, that it’s better not to believe in love.
I should hate him for leaving me here, I’m just a nostalgic
lovesick person, that hates feeling like this.
So I’ve been feeling suicidal for about four years no ive attempted suicide neumorus of times I’ve been to over 30 plus mental hospitals. I’d find myself feeling better then all of a sudden im down again I was diagnosed with depression ptsd and bipolar disorder. Im taking zoloft I just feel as if nobody understands me. I’m only seventeen I have scars all over my arms I never really exspess myself to anyone I block people out because im afraid to let anyone in although people say im geting better I don’t feel like I am. Everyday I smoke cigarettes im constantly thinking I […]
Age 11 found out life really isn’t that great,
Age 12 ran away from a rape,
Age 13 became less bright and cute,
Age 14 tried my very fist zoot,
Age 15 started drinking and became wild,
Age 16 got pregnant and lost my first child,
Age 17 tried to turn my life around,
Age 18 here I am soon to be buried deep into the ground.
No child should have to go through this, this is what leads to self-harm and suicide and worst of all depression.
Does anyone else really dislike activists?
I suppose what I really mean is zealots in general, whether its religious, political, or ideological. Just anyone that is so completely convinced in their own beliefs for any cause that they are totally uncompromising and fanatical about it. Just the self righteous arrogance of it. Obviously we all have our own beliefs and obviously since they are our beliefs we think they are the correct beliefs. If we didn’t think they were correct we wouldn’t believe in them. So I find it annoying when people are so passionate about their own dogma that they constantly have to proselytize about […]
I met a boy. He asked me out. And I was excited. Until I remembered.
I come from a different world than him. I come from a world that preys on the innocent and the ignorant and rots them from the inside out. I come from a world that takes pleasure in pain, in blood, in tears. My world is the worst kind of war, the worst kind of pain, the worst kind of silence.
And I have a responsibility to never let him into that world. I cannot introduce another innocent, beautiful soul into this darkness. I cannot let the pain take away his laugh and […]
This has been the hardest year of my life. To say things have gone south is an understatement. Some good things have happened but the bad far outweighs it. I attempted to commit suicide unsuccessfully earlier this year. Ever since then I’ve had off and on thoughts about attempting it again. The biggest thing that has stopped me is my kids and the thought of who would find my body. The first time was a cry for help. I didn’t succeed because I was sloppy about it. This week though all the feelings have come rushing back. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that […]
So i had the most terrifying nightmare last night…. I’ll spare you the gory details, but one thing i will say is my dad was the pain mart of it. He kept attacking me, abusing me, both verbally and physically, he was literally torturing me…it was the worst thing i’ve ever experienced dream wise…. And he kept telling me over and over… “Just kill yourself. Just commit suicide. Do it.” Again, and again, and again. And whereas in most dreams/ nightmares i can wake up, this one was a never ending torture. I woke up sweating, shaking uncontrollably, and crying. It was the worst thing […]
Yes… my life sucks. I don’t think that it sucks that much. Evertime I think I hate my life I think on those people who are worst than me. Like little kinds in Somalia and that shit… that’s the cultural instinct. But I don’t really care anymore. Who the fuck cares if there is someone in a situation worse than mine? That doesn’t make it less painful..
I don’t know, I don’t really care about it anymore. I don’t want to kill myself, that’s the thing… in my mind, there is still hope.. or at least, I crave for some hope… I’m desperate to think there […]
I’m still alive. For now, anyway.
My wonderful adventures with DCFS are over-not only did we get the kids home, we blew the lid off some serious corruption in the courts, too. And my asshole in-laws will never, ever be allowed to foster another child. They’ll never see my kids again-we ended up going no contact with my husband’s entire family a little over a year ago, and our lives have gotten progressively better ever since. Amazing how things improve when you stop surrounding yourself with assholes.
I also cut off my relatives. All of them. I finally realized that they’ll never change, and I don’t have […]
My mother is never really careful with how she says things. She’s always frank without boundaries and she never understands what’s wrong with that. She has so many hurtful words she already told me that I cannot even remember the worst of them. She has called me names, judged my whole life and according to her, I will never be anything in life.
When she’s mad, she’s mad. She doesn’t care whatever she does or say that will affect anyone. Maybe this is the reason why I’m so sensitive, because those things I never thought I would hear from anyone would come from her. She would […]
I just realized that I hate myself that I can not forgive myself. That’s not the worst part the worst is that I don’t let myself live life I cage myself up because I am a coward. I am afraid of getting hurt so afraid that I probably ruined a possible new relationship whether it was as friends or as lovers. I push people away I push myself away because I don’t trust anyone around me I don’t even trust myself. Because people have always hurt me and I have always let myself get hurt. It’s so unfair how I can easily love and forgive […]
Even in the worst days, I would try my best not to think about suicide, but damn, maybe it’s just the shitty me or it’s just the universe that has some kind of beef with me for some reason. There’s always some fresh new shit that the universe, life, throws at me every single day. I am exhausted to the core of my soul, if there is any, or it might already be in hell, for all I know.
Being an adult you thought that maybe with age you will have courage, freedom and strength, but who knew, all you develop is […]
I have an abusive partner, rarely physical abuse. It’s abuse which is carefully engineered to hurt me from within. Emotional abuse is the worst form I believe. It destroys your mind and leaves you with numbness. Everyday I suffer, in one way or another. I feel myself getting closer and closer to the point of no return. The one thing keeping me here is my son. I’m beginning to feel even he would be better without all of this. Maybe he can then have a happy childhood.
I have no family, I have no friends, this account and post was created in secret. I know it’s […]
How did I get here again? Ugh! I feel like I am never going to break free of this damn soul-disease that makes me hate myself. I feel numb and just want this continual emotional battle that I have going on inside of my head to just give it a rest and leave me alone already! How many more relationships do I sabotage? I have no friends and that is because I don’t want any. I believe that if someone gets to know the real me that they won’t be very impressed-so I push everyone away. I am not close to my parents and I […]
I don’t understand I was so damn elated this morning and the past few days and I really thought my life was going to change for the long run but then out of fucking no where a deep sense of sadness hits me and im literally and figuratively aching at this point. This happens too damn often and its the worst??? Why cant I be constantly happy?? Hell, ill take content?? Fuck Ill go from rainbows and fucking rays of sunshine to a damn psycho contemplating whether to walk into a busy road?? I don’t understand?????
I can barely talk to you…
I can’t even say a word to you…
If I were to commit suicide.. you would be the main reason why I no longer want to be on this earth… open mother daughter relationship? Lol yeah totally.. we can’t even talk about the weather.. I hate u… your a *****.. thank you that I’m able to talk to u about being so depressed.. oh wait… I can’t.. because it’s “just a phase”.. a phase that’s been going on for a while.. thank you mom.. I love life so much.. I’m not sad.. I’m so hard working.. I’m gna be […]
My dad just came in my room and pretty much told me I’m an asshole. Then he said that I just like to make everybody miserable. I don’t even know why he made a point to say that he loves me, when clearly he’s just miserable he has to be with me.
I used to love my dad but now he just makes me feel so worthless. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for a long time now. But he just keeps pushing me further and further.
The worst part is that he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know that I feel depressed, or that I want to kill […]
I had a real bad night last night. Barely got any sleep cos of these withdrawl symptoms I’m having.
I have been on Cymbalta for the past 5 years. The first doc who put me on it didnt care. So I ended up monitoring myself. I then learned from the 3rd doc I went to that I was taking well over the recommended maximum dosage-120mg I was taking 240mg most days! That was a clue that it wasnt working. So over the next 3yrs I tapered down to 60mg. Now my doc (the 8th doctor ive seen) has finally listened to me after nearly a year […]