I don’t know how long it’s been since I posted something here, but it’s been some time…
I should probably start with ‘hi’. I felt the need to write something today. Not for any particular reason, I just want to write something.
Things are… Let’s go with okay. It’s been a lot of ups and downs recently. Let’s start with the ups:
I’ve moved on to a new area of education, left some friends behind, and made a few new ones. It’s all for the better, these new friends seem to be better people.
I ahould be starting counselling soon, which is good, because […]
Tag:
write
I’ve been to this site before (years ago) but never had the courage to sign up. But now.. Here I am. I’m gonna keep my story short
Depressed since I was in grade 3. Parents are always arguing. They aren’t the most supportive parents. A sibling that would torment me. High school was nothing but torment. I was a loner.
I’m now 26 years old and my life is still shit. I know the whole cliche “Your life will get better.” It does, but it can also gets worst.
I wish to be happier, but I can’t.. I feel like.. I don’t deserve any happiness.
As I […]
Frankly at this point I enjoy my life quite a bit, yet I can’t shake my suicidal ideology. I’m in massive debt, I feel like at some point it will all catch up to me, and I will have to choose between have my checks being garnished or committing suicide. I have substantial medical bills coupled with all consuming all powerful student loan debt. Who would of thought the mistake of going to college enforced by my parents at 18 would have had such a resonating effect. I’m going to be paying somewhere around 35% of my monthly income […]
Protected: Untitled (I had at least 100 ideas, but couldn’t choose one)
by Tristeza
written by Tristeza
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I tried to write something meaningful, but my head hurts so fucking bad that I’m afraid I must retire for the night. Goodnight everyone. Sleep well if you can.
ha-ha! I’ve got tears in my eyes.
I’ve been laughing perpetually for the last 3-4 months. I can hear this crazed, deranged laughter in my mind whenever I start to think about the fact that I’m still alive. Nothing matters to me, and some deep down part of me finds it hilarious that I have to live without purpose (the same part of me that laughs when old people fall). I could inject some meaning into my life, but that’s the last thing I want. I don’t want anything to do, people to talk to, or anything really. Just silence, that’s all I care for.
I made […]
I’ve been so focused on music.. And futures.. And now i can’t help but sit here and feel that everything is becoming just pointless. I haven’t had this feeling for a long time. A feeling of wanting to die.
But that’s the problem. I don’t want to die. I just want certain things that don’t exist… I can write songs to try to capture this perfect world.. Or write stories where it’s real… But all of that is just ignoring the reality. The reality that, none of that is real. It’ll never be real.
I see long endless plains and hills in my paradise. Nature everywhere. […]
I woke up today,lonely than ever and I realized it didn’t matter..
As I opened my eyes I realized that even my dreams are becoming a darker version of my obscured reality.
I’ve lost my purpose in this existence,as I’ve lost the need to care.
Sometimes when it gets too hard,like all the other pathetic living beings I seek for love, forgetting one essential fact,that love per se is a romantic version of people’s selfishness and I’m so tired from all this selfishness as I seek refuge paradoxically at myself.
The funny thing about myself,my only true friend,my only “true love”,my all is that it’s undeniably my […]
you read your old posts. and you realize that they were written two years human time ago. the last post i write was in December. it feeled like yesterday. time is a scum, it won’t last long.
I have the worst life story ever ,All of my life I was alone and depressed I used to cry a lot and I have cut my self in the age of 13 ,I am now 20 but still feeling so alone and worthless ,My life changed when I’ve finished High school and it became better .. but after the first semester of university so many problems came to me at once ,and I’ve met bad people that made my life a living hell ,Felt in love with the wrong person .. and he broke my heart in the worst ways .. and in the […]
Gonna write a hardcore punk song off the fly. The challenge is to write it as fast as I can
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
I DONT HERE VOICES AND IM NOT HOMICIDAL
I THINK FOR MYSELF, AND YES IM SUICIDAL
PSYCHIATRIST DO THERE SAFETY DANCE
THERE AGENDA – GIVE LIFE ANOTHER CHANCE
NOBODY CAN CHANGE MY MIND
FUCK YOU..I CHOSE TO DIE
LIFE IS A SHAME LIFE IS A LIE
IM GONNA SHOT MYSELF RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES
……SO MANY WAYS
BREAK INTO A VET CLINIC – SNAG SOME NUMBETHAL
FUCK THE WORLD AND DRINK IT ALL
MAKE AN EXIT BAG AND INHALE THE FUMES
DEATH IS THE ANSWER, DEATH IS IN BLOOM
DOUBLE OUGHT BUCK SHOT – SHATTER THE BRAIN
ILL SHOW YOU ALL WHOS REALLY INSANE
COME ON SKIN WHY DONT YOU TURN BLUE
A MESSAGE TO MY BODY – IM THROUGH WITH […]
When i’m gone, don’t cry, don’t grieve, don’t write paragraphs about how much you loved me. Because, when i was in my darkest hours, you weren’t the that stayed up all night to make sure i was alright. Don’t say i was such a nice girl and wonder how people could be so cruel. Because in some ways, you were the reason i might have taken my life that night.
The calamity, gotta’ write somewhere
Anymore, like it’s been a while
Waiting for the nail to grow
And I’m going, in my way
Down-tempo
If you knew, alone, to the best of my ability
Grace, my grace
The day, that I see you, again
And it’s too bad, making half-sense without the music
Maybe, I got to skip the beat, now
Just maybe
The palm and the wind
Taking it back from the deep urban
I mean, to get the heck out
Two-generation, catch into action
Heal-me, then see us
Synchronizing, I’m talking about life and the world
What is everything more
Grow me to the living
Two to two-thousand
Like the Palm and the wind
Just maybe
…
Why, versus the Lion and the Dragon
Hi, I’m a visual novelist… well that what I was aiming to be.
People often tell you: ”With time you will get better.”
Well, I wonder and anyway… I don’t have the luxury to take my time. But before I tell you about my current situation let me give you a slice of my past.
At the age of 15 I moved away from my country and started to travel with my parents in a country where I couldn’t reach my friends.
Internet you say? Well there were 8 to 9hours of time difference between them and me and I didn’t have a computer so I could only go […]
When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.
After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. […]
I like to write so I wrote a fake verse to Stan by Eminem. It’s stupid, I know but it’s way to release how I feel because I have no one to talk too.
by Dusty96
written by Dusty96
As I wake up in the morning, I see the world that I’m in.
And how I’m not the carefree Jeremy that I used to have been.
I hate seeing life sober that’s why I take these hallucinogens.
As I put the knife to the skin I’m beginning to grin.
And my patience with this life has become paper thin.
I feel like I’m broken like poor little nemo’s fin.
Now the gun’s to my temple and im counting down from ten.
ANYBODY WHO KNOWS SALTS CONTACT EMAIL ME AT HANG_U_LANG@HOTMAIL.COM OR just write it here. Also, Salt if you read this email me or comment your skype or number. I’mma call you. I have international calling I believe. I can skype you for sure. Fuck everybody in my city and in my life. I want an outside opinion.
As someone who has educated myself on psychology, mental health, neurology, and philosophy, and have various mental illnesses (PTSD, Personality disorders of the Paranoid, Addictive, Dependent, and Avoidant type, OCD, ADHD and Major Depressive Disorder), not only can I evaluate myself, but feel as if I have a greater understanding on my own situation and others in similar situations than the people who counsel me. Not to brag (I’m not a pride type of person), but most psychologist and councelers I been to said that I am very intelligent, articulate, and incredibly self aware compared to there other clients. Some even told me that I […]
So living with constant depression and daily suicidal thoughs has changed me and my mind into things I wish never existed. I think most people going through the same things would agree with me when I this.
1.) Everytime someone asks me if I am doing okay, I have to put a fake smile on my face and say I am fine because I don’t want people to see how much depression truly controls me.
2.) I can’t take my necessary daily medicines without thinking of overdosing.
3.) I can’t cross the road without the thought of wanting a car to hit me crossing my mind.
4.) I can’t […]
Look at yourself and write down the truth. What more fatal complex subject could you find? It’s hard to face. Or maybe you’re afraid of yourself
I am