I have been lurking on this sight for a while. I thought I would post my story. Until about 15 years ago, I had a good life. I had friends, normal ups and downs. I was able to cope with what life handed to me.  I got married and had a very difficult time having a child. It worked out in the end, but husband was abusive, etc. I was lonely. I tried to connect wi other Moms. ±Gradually over time, I ended up with just aquantences  or “group” friends (people invite me to events and parties, but not one on one. It was very […]
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Yoga
These emotions,,, or lack of them, they are just as bad as physical pain. This boredom is horrible, adderalls doing the opposite of what it should be and i dont know why: i have no desire to do yoga, make cookies. talk to anybody or ill feel agitated and extremely anxious and robotic like(not fun) i am unable to genuinely laugh or smile or even sing without.
I want to feel joy for one, sweet lasting feelings of wellbeing, confidence, desire. 🙁
Starting to care less about what p eople think of me. I don’t know what to write my thoughts are so jumbled I want to write though. I need to get my thoughts out. so basically I am wasting my life I am too Pathetic to push myself, I have no current interest in looking for a new job, there’s no way I’m going to be able to go back to school in the fall, I don’t like the idea of being the oldest one there, I really dont. So I’m not gonna do it . I really don’t give a shit about not graduating, […]
I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]
Just dying. I have really little, if anything to live for. I have a hard time imagining any accomplishment that would cause me to transcend the feeling of wanting to be dead that I’ve been experiencing for the past several months. I have done yoga. I have done meditation. I’ve taken all kinds of medication and talked about every aspect of my life. Tried to tie up loose ends in my relationships, but I am broken.
Get up and do something: take a walk, ride a bike, do yoga, join a karate class, box, join a gym, join a pool, jump rope, lift weights, ride a skateboard, play with some kids, play baseball, volleyball, tennis, basketball, football, hockey, go skating. Just get up, get out, and get moving!
I am depressed and sad and I’ve tried everything, and I don’t think I can go on. I have tried meds, therapy, doctors, yoga, everything. i get thirty seconds of peace each morning immediately after I wake. Then it’s like someone turns on the radio in my head and it’s a constant rant of hopelessness and hurt.Â
One of the frustrating parts is hardly anybody knows the truth, and I have nobody to talk to. My dad was a world champion sales rep because he was a true expert in how to make people feel good and feel comfortable. He was born with the touch. I learned it from him. I am also an expert at […]