I’m not falling for the hoax
This sick twisted joke
Nothing is real
Except the emptiness that I feel
Keep the stories to yourself
As you file my memory on the shelf
I won’t let my conscience get in the way
Before I let the silence take me away
Tag:
yourself
I realized I want awful things to happen in my life, so it decipts how bad I feel inside. I want to hide behind an awful event so people think I have a reason to be sad, because people never believe feelings can get so painful, to the point you hurt physically. To the point you want to kill yourself. They need something concrete.
One year ago, my father died, and just a few minutes before I learned he had passed away, I found a small part of myself feeling okay with the prospective of him dying, so I could hide behind that event. Not […]
Why am I here
What the fuck am I doing
I hate life
I’m just holding on
Why
What’s the point
Haunted by my own thoughts
kill yourself
They gently whisper
…I may oblige
You might be sad because you’ve been through a lot, but you should also be proud of yourself for being STRONG enough to make it through it.
As I cut deeper and deeper, I think about all of the wrong I’ve done. I think of how much we once loved each other and how we have nothing now. You are the only one I ever want to be with. You never stop loving someone. You either never did or you always will. I know I will always love you and I know it will be the death of me. You tell me you love me, but you can’t handle my depression. I always have been and always will be here for you when you need me. You make it sound like you were […]
Sorting out my thoughts I guess, really hard to know what is what  anymore, am I just thinking this way cuz im angry or depressed or  is this what I really think. I question every thought i have anymore, I don’t trust myself to make many decisions anymore. Insomnia is kicking my ass . 2-3 hours sleep a day is really getting to me. Soon i will crash an sleep hours an hours. Obessessive thoughts and tourrettes syndrome is starting to get really bad to.
I have nightmares about my boyfriend , in them im trying to escape and hide from him. .. Guess cuz of all the […]
Once again as the time ticks on my parents ask if I’m okay.
You want the truth mom I’m not okay far from it but thanks for trying.
Dad: do I even call you dad anymore? You want the truth too!? I hate you I never thought I’d get here but bam! Life proves me wrong. Why do I hate you? Your an insufferable, arrogant, asshole that I’ve hated since I was 10, 3 years! This hate has grown stronger. You yell and make me feel worthless, you say all this bullshit about me like you mean it all but you fucking don’t. You know you don’t. […]
Is it wrong to kill yourself if you truly believe it will make other lives happier? Or is that still considered selfish? Because I want to help others, not myself.
a lot of people say
that you cant
care about others
before you care
about yourself.
you have to care
about yourself
before you care
about others.
you have to take
care of yourself
before you take
care of others.
but i dont do that.
i dont care about
my life.
i dont care about
myself.
i just dont care.
i care about others.
about their lives.
their problems.
i help them,
bring them happiness.
but then im their
crumbling
breaking
cracking
more and more
each day.
i just dont care.
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
I’ve spent the past 35+ years in a depressed state. Something needs to change before it is to late. I’ve contemplated suicide more times then I can count even went as far as planning how and when I would do it. But I couldn’t pull myself to do it because I didn’t want my kids to grow up without a mother. And I didn’t want people think of me as weak and selfish. I hate the image in the mirror. I’m tired of putting on a brave front. I sick of crying myself to sleep. The loneliness is suffocating my soul. How can  I teach […]
okay this got delted so ill write it short and simple bullying. guys making fun of me and saying really mean bullshit. they dont listen to the teacher or me so….. i told them to stfu cause they dont know me or my story or anyone to be making comments like ah im so dumb i just want to blow my brains out like stfu you twat fucker fuck sake man. I told them that isnt funny they laughed. so i got up and punched the ***** in the face like the he is. and his other two friends two i told them that they […]
Hey, what’s this?
Yeah, don’t be afraid.
Come a little closer.
I wanna see your face.
Lemme see you.
What’s this?
Can you describe yourself? I wanna see you in mind.Let’s meet sometime!.I’m the skinny guy, yeah that one next to the big guy, short brown hair, white as iceberg, misterious green eyes, few spots on the chin, walking down the street, nobody notices me, my inner sorrow you can’t see.
Just lemme see you.
Broken
You say you’re broken,
Unloved and unwanted.
You can’t be fixed,
And you are haunted.
What people say,
That is what cuts.
The words throw you off,
And you get stuck in the ruts.
Many say “I care”,
But few are sincere.
When you are broken,
U notice no one is here.
You wish yourself away,
Ready to give it a try.
U think u can’t stay,
That you need to die.
I reach out to you,
Saying sweet things,
I want to fix you,
I say that it stings.
I cut for others,
To get them to stop.
I am still clean,
Three years at top.
When I see someone unhappy,
It gives my heart great pain.
I want them to be happy,
And to smile again.
I will not stop,
I am […]
Well, this is my story. My first attempt to suicide when i was 16+. My true suffering when i started my IGCSE studies at the age of 15. According to my seniors, it was a year that supposedly has no room for fun and games. So i studied and really put in a lot of effort to work smart. Unfortunately, i was disadvantaged due to the fact of not having friends to support you when you need them the most and having a family that ask’s too much of results from you not knowing that they hurt you psychologically and physically. Meaning physically by the […]
So I don’t use this kind of stuff of chats or Facebook anymore. Iive Bvb n I’m part of the Bvb army. People always tell me o you’re so imo go kill yourself just for liking them. I like botdf people tell me that its gay and tell me I’m worthless and like getting raped just cause of a band. That hurts they don’t know that I was raped when I was in fifth then 7th n 8th then freshman year. They dont know me they don’t know my story but I guess my music defines how I like to be treated. I like suicide […]
I wrote this poem today, it sucks, but I haven’t written anything in weeks, so…
“I remember
When you looked at me
With those eyes
When I couldn’t help but
Idolize
When my heart began
To race.
And I remember
When I saw you
When your eyes
Had lost all light
When you stopped
Fighting the fight
When you lost yourself
And me
And now you’re gone
and I’m waiting
Waiting for you to come
back
Waiting to see those
eyes
Waiting to know if you’re
alive
Please come back
Please wake up
You’re still there
Lost, to be found
And I’m waiting
For you to come back.â€
This was […]
All of this is so triggering, I try to ignore the temptation to make my wrists raw. That’s all on me, though, I should just avoid reading some of the stuff on here I guess…
Since you’re reading this…
Tell me some ways you make yourself feel better (even if it only makes you feel slightly better..) Trust me… I’ll need it
~E
I was told once, before we’re born we choose to come into this life. Told the possibilities of life are endless, you can do anything you put your mind to. Why is it that life contradicts that very statement. From a young age were forced to see the realities of what this life really is. A place where judgement of others is more important than judgement of one’s self. Where the rich strive and prosper and the poor struggle. Where the only peace you can find is in the bottom of a bottle. Or with a complete stranger, it seems the closest to you have […]
I feel people get hung up on the reasoning for killing yourself more than the lack of desire to live. When you look at it that way, then you can appreciate the motive.
Where else in life, outside of work and certain family dynamics, are you forced to do something you’re obviously not wanting to continue? Everything has an exit door, life isn’t any different.