I was told once, before we’re born we choose to come into this life. Told the possibilities of life are endless, you can do anything you put your mind to. Why is it that life contradicts that very statement. From a young age were forced to see the realities of what this life really is. A place where judgement of others is more important than judgement of one’s self. Where the rich strive and prosper and the poor struggle. Where the only peace you can find is in the bottom of a bottle. Or with a complete stranger, it seems the closest to you have the biggest swords waiting for you to turn your back. This scene we call life is a figment of our imagination where the worst seems to always find you and only you. You look for a way out and it leads you to another dark alley. You pray for a better day but it keeps on raining. Recently life has made me question whether we truly even had a say to begin with. We live then we die, so what is everything else inbetween? I’m young and I couldn’t bare to tell you what I’ve seen and done, yet I’m suppose to live like this until the tide turns? What’s a brighter tomorrow when your sky is filled with sorrow? What’s finding yourself when you can’t stand to look at it in the mirror? I’ve come to the conclusion life is simply that, a word. How we live on the other hand, defines us completely. You always have a choice, remember that!
Family & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurviveMy Suicide NotePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
7 comments
Belch…yah, I have a choice. Not that there’s much variety. The spice of life as they call it…’variety’. Life sucks and then you die. Or…life sucks but you bear with it, have a boogie and do some crazy shit in between – generally have some fun no matter the weather – and then you die…satisfied with a life lived.
I raise my bottle to you friend, I’ll see you at the bottom!
Peace…
heh… you’re almost there. ^^
“I was told once, before we’re born we choose to come into this life. Told the possibilities of life are endless, you can do anything you put your mind to. Why is it that life contradicts that very statement.”
Because it’s simply not true.
Some of us no longer define life as the illusory fantasy land, with which our parents intended to shelter us from the real, harsh, ugly world.
When you finally “grow up,” you stop being shocked by the difference, and simply disregard all that BS you were told as a child, to prevent you from freaking out and developing various crippling cognitive complexes, resulting in you never leaving home, and thus, never being able to “live.”
Don’t just “question whether we ever had a say in any of this.”
Man up and accept that you didn’t. Lift the veil and see it through clear and honest eyes, for what it really is, and always was.
Life isn’t a figment of your imagination.
“We live then we die, so what is everything else in between?”
No. We’re *born, then we grow into the world, Then we “live,” then we die.
“The middle” is what you’re entering now. You’re about to start “living” soon.
Life is the “in between.” It’s everything that happens between the nothings of nonexistence.
Life is… basically like a “spark,” in the grand scheme of things. And on earth, there are billions of these sparks occurring simultaneously.
We’re like leaves on a tree. If they’re oak leaves the bud grows into an oak leaf. Elm trees have elm leaves. You’ll never see an oak leaf growing on an elm tree. You’ll never see a dog beating himself up because he can’t be a cat. “Why, why why…I want to be a cat. I think I’ll kill myself damn it.”
You come into the world and everyone tells you about free will, that you have a conscious choice, that you can be anything you set your mind to. I don’t think so. You have the DNA of your parents, so your body will look pretty much like theirs. You’ll be more susceptible to certain inherited diseases. ie, Angela Jolie. You were raised in an environment so you’ll be formed by the laws, peer pressure, education of that environment. And if you believe in past lives, karma, etc. you’ll have a past that is guiding your every choice, your every circumstance. But we’ve been told and drilled into us that we’re free, that we can be an oak leaf growing on an elm tree if we work very hard and want it.
And so we find ourselves typing into a suicide chat website because we’re finding the depth of this illusion we’ve been fed.
So, how do we or can we be free?
I guess the first step is to realize this illusion. Like Neo when he stood up and looked to see the Matrix after being shot by Agent Smith. First step is to see it clearly.
…and once you’ve taken that red pill, everything looks very different, forever.
You look around and you can see “systems,” and people who have no idea what’s going on around them, no idea who or even what they, themselves, really are… completely oblivious to the underlying mechanisms perpetuating this interlocking, integrated, interactive series of machines.
We are almost literally batteries, produced by a machine that makes its own batteries.
The choice you speak of…….what is it exactly?
Choice. Where does thought end and action begin? Where does nothingness end and thought begin? What are ‘you’ doing during all these happenings? You are not your actions, you are not your thoughts. You can think anything, you can do anything, you can Be anything. But is there a choice? Choice is needed when there is desire. Conditional desires call for conditional choices. So nope, there is no free choice. But there is freedom. But then who wants to put that much awareness into his moment-to-moment life that he can live it all the time. Who wants to bear the weight of freedom. We like sleeping. It has its own pulls and seductions. Who can remain awake all the time. But then don’t whine either (not to the OP in particular but humanity as general).