I was once very suicidal. I used to think about killing myself almost everyday. I would cut myself, debate stabbing myself. I even once took 15 tylenol down with a shot of vodka; I’m still not really sure how I am alive.
That was 5 years ago, and now, my life couldn’t be more complete. I am truly happy.
Most of you on here are young, as I was when I felt like you. Pressured by your “friends,” and sometimes your family may not see your pain, or care, or understand. People can be mean when you’re in elementary, middle school, even in high school. I felt alone. Isolated.
To everyone who has written on here, you really don’t want to die. You wouldn’t be here if you did, trying to seek help, or even just recognition to know that you’re still alive. You are all brave, you’re courageous for not letting life get the best of you.
My dear friend in high school killed herself. Hung herself. No one knew what she was battling, but friends, thousands of friends came to her funeral. She had no idea how many people loved her. She had no idea what the future held. She was only 15.
After high school, your world changes. You’re alone and you can be whatever you want to be, go however far away you need to go, get away from your problems. Run away from them all and start all over. If you are still in school, and miserable and wanting to die, please, I beg of you, PLEASE don’t do it. Your life has truly not even started yet. You don’t have to be sad, you don’t have to feel stuck, everything doesn’t have to feel like a task if you don’t want it to.
For myself, and I think for my dear high school friend, that life was sad because we let it be. If you hate your family, go get a job so you don’t have to be around them. If you don’t like your friends or they are not good to you, don’t hang out with them. Your friends are a reflection of you. If you are in a bad relationship, get out of it. Whatever it is in your life that is making you have suicidal thoughts or actions needs to be removed to you can experience happiness and opprtunites.
YOU have the power to change what you wish about your life. I just wish you could see it. I know, I’ve lived it. I’ve lived both life and seen demise and I now know which option is really eternal. She will never get to bask in the sunlight at the most beautiful park in the world. She will never meet a guy who makes her feel as if she is over the moon. She will never get into her dream school and see how successful she could have been. Killing yourself is forever. There is no turning back. No making up for your mistake. No saying sorry to those you leave behind. People will miss you, wether you believe that or not.
Don’t let anyone make you upset, you are your own keeper. Everything is only as bad as you let it be.
If you have read this, you know more about me than anyone.
If you need someone to talk to, please don’t be shy. I would love to be here for you.
1 comment
Your post was inspiring, but its so much easier said than done…To think that I stil have to live my life through this hell breaks my heart! Im glad you overcame your problems but I dont think I can. I’m not on this site because I dont want to die, i’m here because I want my story to be heard before I end my life