Emptiness

February 11th, 2014by Agion

I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Some call it a phase of life, others just a small crisis.

But I don’t know and I actually dont care.

I feel empty. Nothing excites me. I don’t have goals and no matter how much I search, I just feel that I will be put down.

Everything I do is put down. I got support, but what does that count? They wont be there forever.

I wonder, why was I born? I feel empty. Don’t feel joy actually and just waste my life.

I tried many times to kill myself, stabbing, hanging, drowning and even throw myself infront of a train or car.

I always hesitated.

The meaning of Life means to live it. But if my life keeps being empty, i wonder…

Why was I given life?

I am tired of it.

Tired of living a meaningless life where every day feels empty no matter how good it can be.

The void always is there.

So I think life itself is just actually a waste. Thats maybe my only opinion. I dont really feel anything else, I am envious of those who can express themselves freely and pure. I wish I could.

The only thing I can feel is Fear.

Fear of Failure.

And between Death and Failure…

I rather choose death…

I really don’t know.

All say I can find the answer myself, but how do I do it?

Is my answer in death?

Maybe I should try again.

But I don’t have the courage to do it. Neither am I in such despair. Those feelings are unknown to me

Help me

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