I never had a sweet 16 birthday, a great 21st birthday, I never got to go prom dress shopping and I wasn’t asked by any guys to go to prom, I never had a bridal shower, or went wedding dress shopping, I didn’t get a romantic proposal or a housewarming party, I don’t get a honeymoon or even a ceremony in a church. I had to wait 8 years with a guy who has abused me in all aspects possible the entire time. I’ve always been in abusive relationships. So after 8 years I finally settled on just going to a courthouse and getting married in regular pants and a shirt. I don’t get a happy, special day. Now I sit here on suicideproject.org on a night where most husbands and wives celebrate their love, and he’s video gaming and just listening to my cry without a care at all, after a fight because he didn’t care that I am miserable. This is my life and I want it to end.
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4 comments
Why did you marry someone who doesn’t care about you at all? :/
After so many abusive relationships and being told that you’re not lovable, you start to believe it. I doubt anyone will ever be romantic to me, so I settled with what I could get
It’s not worth it if he treats you badly.
I think being alone completely is better than being alone in a relationship.
You’re not unlovable. They tell you these things just to make them feel they have power over you, not because it’s true.
It might be difficult to find good people out there but i’m sure you could find much, much better than that.
Better to be single than in a horrible relationship. Granted being alone can be also terrible-but still better than a bad relationship. I recall a beautiful girl from high school who had a kid with a guy who was physically abusive towards her.
It’s bad enough for any girl to end up a bad relationship but not something you’d expect would happen to someone who’s so attractive. I tried to help her, but she was ‘lost’ in her situation and couldn’t do much to change it. I also couldn’t be with someone who has a child.
I try not to think about suicide too much because I’m then reminded of how useless my life is and that I’m basically here for nothing more than helping my aged mother and providing some company for friends/family members…there’s little else for me here. I’m not interested in the rat race, or busting my ass trying to get laid or a better job/life…it’s all for nothing. Being alive sucks shit. It was good in the beginning but I feel I’ve had enough and would like to go anytime.