why this life?

im 17 and my parents started the process of divorce my brother is already past 18 and doesnt have the choices to make of who to live with, my boyfriend for a little longer than a year and i broke up because his sister kept saying he could do better and that i was pathetic, i feel like i have no friends they dont invite me anywhere to do anything with them, i have depression and have been wanting to cut really deep lately but my parents locked up all the knives and i could just go to walmart and buy a new one but im trying not to i dont want to disapoint people any more but its so tempting, my great grandpa got moved into assisted living and we had to go through his house. i havent had a therapy appt in over a month and im suppose to have them every 2-3 weeks. and right now its finals week in school and im not sure im ready to be a senior