when the time comes, I have decided that I want to be creamated. Would any of you like to have some of my ashes? I’m gonna give most to my far away sweetheart and my aunt. I’d like to also give some to the people in here thst gave the most support.
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I’ll have some
Can I?
You definatly can!!
That’s awesome man. You’re a great guy. If I knew you better . you can also make your ashes be planted into a tree which someone can plant and good for the environment. When I go I don’t want to be buried and decaying into the surrounds how grose!
Make a few lockets out of it
I will miss your posts I honestly hope that time isn’t soon because it’s such a fucking shame to see this world kill off the only people trying to save it
Thank you. I feel guilty in a lot of ways for leaving behind such a wonderful group of people. I wanna help all of you but I also know my time on this earth is finished. Just try to remember the good times. I’ll be posting on here until the time comes.
Thank you guys. I’ll put you all in my will and have my family send ashes to you. A piece of me to all my wonder SP Family
I’ll also have a personalized message in my own hand writing to each and every one of you guys
But stay around for as long as possible someone posted the other day about finding the right girl. You have a lot of knowledge and a good person just life maybe a lot tough right now. Have you thought about a trade skill to occupy some time. Skills and more money which would complement your knowledge girls love. Builder electrician anything. Disregard if not u
Thank you for your words of encouragement. Really means a lot thst you care. Unfortunatly I’m too far gone to be able to hold down a job. I do got SSI which is a good thing.
Alright man even with benzos and shit. But think about it for a bit. I understand. I’m applying through companies who deal with disabilities and unwell people in my country. Just thought there might be help out there for u.
And I still don’t know if it will help me yet. However I must try. Try. Suicide although runs in the family I must try.
I honor your willingness to keep trying to move forward. I tried so hard all my life to be happy, to find LOVE. I remember when I was 18 years old…I use to have dreams of having a wife, kids, job etc. being happy. Coming home from work being greeted by w wonderful family. I had so many dreams. My mental illnesses got in the way or everything. Now at 31 my life is shattered and been falling apart for over a decade. I had s horrible childhood and teenage years. When I turned 18 I thought the world would be different from the one I was leaving. Not only was it not different, but worse. I had so many existential breakdowns that I’m not even sure if I can count them all.
The more love I spread, the more rejection I got. I been used, abused, and tormented. I always underestimated the fact that the trauma I experienced during childhood probably changed the stucture of my brain beyond any repair. I was different from everyone else but thought I could rise above it. Every glimmer of hope usually ether turned into one huge disappointment or people trying to mess with me, like that person did a couple days ago. I been judged for being on SSI, the way I look etc. I slowly isolated myself from the entire world, and became a recluse. My best friend for murdered in 2011. He always was able to get me out of darkest places in my life. He ain’t around anymore and the friends I use to hang out with all moved away with the live I dreamed of having at this age. I don’t even attempt to contact them because they wouldn’t be able to relate to my situation.
This is why SP is so important to me – no rejection, no judgment, honesty, intelligence, and genuine empathy. I love all of you. The stories we shared made me feel like I knew you all my life. it’s hard not to feel like your the only one going though similar situations. When I see stories about people’s lives in here, a lot of it is so similar to what I went though. I can make a connection. I hate that everyone lives so far away, far enough to where I can’t reach out and hug you all.
Windows, I know we will have to accept your suicide. After all, that is a personal choice. I know this planet hurt you enough already. But you are a great guy, it’s very hard to see you go.
I honestly think that if you hold on a bit longer you *will* find love. Yeah, I know I don’t understand anything about your life and the women and the other people that surround you IRL, but I believe it will happen. Why? You’re smart, you’re a great person, you’re very kind and you are a cutie. Your chances are real imo. It’s the matter of meeting the right person that will see the great qualities that you have.
Plus, you are so loved here.
Why not decide to believe in dreams that can come true like meeting the SP family face to face someday?
Keep saving lives, keep being inspirational to others and don’t give up yet.
Aww thank you for those kind words. I wish I could meet someone on here face to face. I been hurt so much and damaged that I’m not even interesting in finding love anymore. I’m suprized that there’s people who thinks I’m cute in here, but very flattered too. Thank you thank you thank you!
I just got to the point were I don’t even try to try anymore. Im a tired man. I’m afraid to dream because when I do they turn to nightmares. From the time I was a small child, history just keep repeating itself – Abuse, rejection, false hope, then emotional collapse. In 2009 when I was ready to go (suicidal since 2005, breakdown since 2004), i did find someone at the tail end when I was getting ready to do it and we still love each other to this day. Problem is, we can’t be together. She’s a great person but we both got so stressed out we kept arguing everyday, last year I moved back home after living with her for 3 years.
2009 was my last shot. I listened to my aunt and decided to give life one more try. I was already exhausted from the pain I went though. I’ll write a post at some point about it. When the relationship feel though, it was just a reminder of how my life seems to go in circles for me, getting worse each time. I’m actually suprized I’m still alive. I gave it one more chance. Now I’m just waiting for that everlasting peace to come.
Ya know it’s weird, but it feels like Im in some sort of realistic simulation built by some Psychopath who directed people to hurt me to see how long I can survive. It’s like a twisted Truman Show in my world. Don’t worry I’m not crazy and I know im living in the real world, but it sure does feel that way.
Friend, i wont pretend that i understand what you have been through, as I am not you, but suffering, i do understand. I am glad there was some glimmer in life in the form of your best friend. I am glad you had someone like that. He was a really lucky person to know someone like you. And i appreciate that he didn’t judge you or anything, but he was just there to provide support and more.
Please do not feel too guilty about dying. You have done alot for me and people here on SP. You are suffering and want it to end. Why should anyone live and continue to suffer? You will be remembered. I am sorry society has been horrible to you. I wish everyone on SP could meet in real life.
you never deserved any of this horrible treatment. I wont say you will go to a better place when you die, but at least your suffering will be gone. I’ll meet you in my death, whenever that is supposed to be. You may be ‘dead’ when you finally choose to do this but you will still live on inside me, and i hope some others here as well.
You tried so hard to fit into this BBB of bullshit and continuously doors were slammed into your face. Also, child abusers are shit. But most of society is. Child/adult/baby intelligent people get abused all the time, the only predators i see is the ones around us. The judging, bullying, abusive, hurtful people.
please never forget how much you have helped us here. You have been a great addition to this place.
Apologies if i sound like a broken record..
And also your deep understanding of human nature is mind blowing. You really know how the world works, probably one of the reasons why living hurts so bad. When I started figuring things out, it was traumatic. I use to listen to people tell me how different the “real world” is. It’s harsh, just like in jr high school – people form there clichés, team up against the weak, use you for selfish reasons, pick on you. Just like in school! I read a research on empathy and it’s been on a steep decline since the late 1980s. I guess the future belongs to sociopaths.
I’m so glad I could contribute at least something here. I agree about suffering, that’s what unites us no matter what we been though. Good people who has been hurt our entire lives just because we love, feel empathy, and have a heart. Seems like people who don’t give a crap about anyone are the ones who get the most love. It’s a strange dynamic. I wish you would get the love and respect you diserve. I hate that you had to go though racism, bullying, abuse etc. Another thing that hurts, and someone made this point earlier, is that you can’t lock someone up or sue them for emotional pain, which I think is the same, if not worse than physical pain. I’d rather be knocked out from some stranger than insulted by them. Outside wounds will heal, but the wounds on the inside last a lifetime. Your very special to me. You always listened and understood. Means a lot to me.
Celeste Prince, where ever you are.
listen to it.
Who’s that?
good $uck
@wndozh8er I couldnt agree with @Tristza and @no more of more. I mean with no doubt and from following you post and comments you are one of the most cool/intellectual guys here on SP. I wish I know you in person we would’ve been good friends. You are respected
Thank you so much! I wasn’t use to getting all these wonderful compliments until I joined this group. People in here are awesome and very intelligent too. I just wish I found people like this when I walk out the front door. I hate it that we live so far away from each other. You are an example of another amazing person
Just saw this post, that’s a sweet idea. 🙂 I knew a woman whose boyfriend and mother left a little of her ashes in all the places she’d loved and thrived in (she died young but lived a very full life before that)… dividing them between people is a really nice idea too.
We never really talked before but I think if the world isn’t so fucked up, I would like to meet you.
I want to have some of your ashes if the time really comes. Dead or alive, I would like to have your company. It’s a strange attachment of mine. Please do forgive me.
For the mean time, I’ll say “Stay strong and good luck.”