I’ve been feeling weird for a day and a half, and it’s slowly starting to get to me. I’m not a self-harmer, but right now I want to cut myself so bad. I want to feel pain. I’ve always been someone who is against self-harm and thinks that it’s “stupid”, but right now I want to feel something other than this emptiness and sadness. I’m not scared, I don’t care that it’ll hurt.
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Hi SunPrince. What led up to this?
last night i started feeling sad out of nowhere and usually it fades away but instead it got worse and i just dont care anymore im numb i want to feel something anything
Please try not to. Not because of the pain (you’re already experiencing that) – it’s just that it can become addictive and sometimes make you more desperate. It can become a really painful cycle.
I’m sorry you feel that emptiness and sadness. Being active can help sometimes. Please try anything other than self-harm… and remember you’re not alone in this.
Trix is right, there is a whole cross section of humanity in SP who either self harm currently or struggle with the path not to self harm. I totally understand.
”I want to feel pain”
”right now I want to feel something other than this emptiness and sadness. I’m not scared, I don’t care that it’ll hurt.”
Now you understand why people self harm, for the very reasons you just mentioned. I did for a while in my early 20’s, when things were really really bad and I didn’t know how to handle it. Try to resist the urge to start. Because once it becomes a coping mechanism, it’s hard to stop. And I’ve lost a gf who I thought would understand because of it. I showed her my scars and she freaked. Looking back it was probably for the best, but I didn’t need to be alone at that time, and it only compounded my depression. Just try to resist self harming. Hope things turn around for you soon! Can you talk to someone you trust about it?
As a cutter, if you can then do not start. It is more addictive than any drug I have ever done (and I have went through my share) . Even when you get happy and it’s time to stop so to speak it’s hard to stop.
I have been where you. Still there. Unfortunately, I gave in to the temptation of hurting myself, now I cant stop. Its really addictive. I have been doing it since I was 14. At first, I was just biting myself or punching the walls to release the pain. When that was not enough, I started cutting/burning myself. Every time I have these feelings of sadness and emptiness, and Im desperately trying to feel something, I hurt myself.
Its not healthy. Try finding some other way to cope with your pain. Cutting is just not it. Once you start, you just cant stop.
Here is a suggestion. Go out and get a really large tattoo someplace on your body. That will give you some pain but instead of injure yourself you will have a nice design on your body you can appreciate.
I don’t think you want to think about cutting into your skin everyday for the rest of your life… I’ve been a self harmer for quite some time and even on my happy days my razor crosses my mind. But I also understand wanting to feel anything but numb.
There are a few people here who can back me up on this, but I have a bat. I take this bat and beat the shit out of mature trees with it. When I feel numb, I try to feel any emotion except sad or numb. Anger is normally the first one that pops up, and I just roll with it. It’s not the best alternative, however, it is better than self harm.