So for those of you who don’t know, or were ‘experiencing’ my live chat the night before, I took an overdose, I’m just going to explain what happened to get it off my chest and what I’ll be doing next so no one here will have to worry about me.
My mother found me yesterday morning, I fell asleep, she broke the door in and took me up the hospital, I had several blood tests, and scans, at first I was just upset and crying, then they started to kick in, I threw up several times, not really pain, just weird, I shook, felt weak and cold. I don’t recommend it to anyone, it is painful, but more shitty than anything, they gave me a drip to help disperse and absorb what was in my body, then a drug to help stop me throwing up. Which made me slightly delusional and in and out of consciousness, slept mostly, in between more tests, started to feel better by this morning (mum’s been by my side the whole time and hasn’t slept) had mental health team and that who’ll contact me with an aspergers specialist doctor soon. Doctors told me for some reason, even though I took a lethal dosage, my body managed to counteract it and stay on safe levels (not sure what that means) , well anyway, lucky me huh?
Well, the only good thing about this is that, I realised I don’t want to die, no one would be on this site talking, if they uelly didn’t want to live. Me and my family are going to try and make some changes, I’m not lying anymore. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. It’s a weird feeling, someone asks you why, and you’re not sure the reason yourself, then they ask you, do you still want to die, obviously that’s a no for me right now, but I’m not ‘happy’, I’m not sad either, accepting, is that the right word? Doesn’t matter I guess.
Anyway, I might not be back on this site, at least for a while, I want to be able to support others to, I’m just gonna work on myself and family for the moment. So thanks, to those who were talking to me the night before, honestly it kept me awake, and I think if I hadn’t stayed up, I’d actually have died, so thanks, for saving my life.
5 comments
I had a similar experience after and during an overdose, the realization that I don’t truly want to die, but that I was in too much pain to live. I hope that realization is a turning point in your life, and I hope the aspergers specialist can help you.
In reality no one wants to die, it’s just at times people feel there is no other choice but to end their life. If I knew I had another choice besides killing myself I would of course take it. I hope everything works out for the best for you.
I hope you all do okay too. Really. Everyone on this site has a good heart. No one like that deserves to suffer. So I hope everyone here does ok
Glad you’re still here
I wish you well. Hang in there.