For your poems.
What
Ever
Happened
To
The
Days
Where
I
Used
To
Be
Happy.
Remember
Them?
For your poems.
What
Ever
Happened
To
The
Days
Where
I
Used
To
Be
Happy.
Remember
Them?
(1)
what am i supposed to be? wolverine? what is this advanced healing and regeneration? and if my body is capable of such feats than why doesn’t my mind share this uncanny ability to heal itself? because i would certainly like to forget all this accumulating pain. if this book is about NDE’s (near death experience) you will hear them. i have several. and now with that tylenol overdose… which i remember very well… i couldn’t stand anymore. i could feel the pills exploding one by one in my chest. vomiting non stop for the occasion, i tried again to stand but knees crumpled instantly beneath […]
I want to know something …
Is it nice to have both your parents? Is it nice that you’ve never heard them yell or scream at each other? Is it nice that they support you no matter what?
Is it nice to live in that nice house? Is it nice to have lived in the same house you were born in? Is it nice to never have had to pack up and move and leave all your friends and memories behing because your parents couldnt afford your life there?
Is it nice to not worry about how you and your family is going to pay for your college […]
Broken glass.
It was mine.
My place.
The only place I felt a little bit safe.
But it’s broken now.
There’s laying glass all over the ground.
In pieces,
My safety in pieces,
Broken,
Taken down.
My protection.
But it’s broken,
It will never heal again.
Broken in pieces of glass.
All that I had is broken.
I try and try to fix it,
Try to build up my shell of glass.
But everytime I have a little part,
It’s taken down again.
Building up the only thing I had isn’t the option,
Because it only works reversed.
I need a thing that works […]
We are the future of us all
we are the generation who is destined to fall
we are the present’s invokable call
we can’t be heard through the last generations wall
we destroy ourselves without remorse
we set sail on an unchangeable course
our parents have made us who we are
they have locked us up behind concrete and bar
suicide and drugs seem our only escape
we all go out with chalk lines and yellow tape
all victims of depression and anger
some are popular some the more stranger
we all grow up whether we want to or not
because […]
I wrote this poem directly after a emotional conversation with my parents and the familytherapist. It was the first conversation and therapy with my parents and the therapist.
Like you have to hold your own mirror in front of you.
So you can see all those negativities.
You have to face them,
but you don’t want it because it only takes you down.
Makes you more depressed and more negative than before,
but it’s the only way to face it.
It’s the only way to get rid of those negativities.
But the fact you want to die more than you did before is the […]
mirror, mirror, my only friend
you listen, but no hand can you lend
you see me for the man i can be
but then i remember my only friend is me
it is lonely no matter the place
The people are the same no matter the base
I feel like a junker in a nascar race
like a clay pot next to a porcelain vase
so mirror mirror tell me something new
but you can’t which is why this pain will ensue
sure you’re always there by my side
but every time you smiled, you lied
time to face that my only friend isnt real
it has no emotions it can not feel
so ill see you every day […]
This is little tidbit of the story I’m writing called KEMA.
This is one of my favorite parts.
Amy shook her head and watched him walk away.
She collapsed in the centre of the circular room. Dead centre.
They left her alone with her thoughts. They never realized how dangerous that could be. Her mind wandered around her, cascading against the smooth walls.
The walls were white, like paper. Only one wall, really. Curling around her perfectly, with the exception of the crimson door in which the doctor had closed behind him.
She was forgotten within the arena.
“Arena?” She thought to herself. Why did she […]
I hide with you all in this world
through glass and paint
we reach
through glass and paint
the barriers confine us
these walls around us
surround us
define us
when hands out
you recoil
in this way you are like me
you wear masks like me and speak in whispers
like me
so quiet
speaking so softly
until it fades away
no
stand
looking up
jaw clenched
hands trembling
defiance burning
scream
the glass
Shatter
Lyrics to song I pretty much jus stayed up all night writing..
Oh and uh.. *All Rights Reserved*? haha.
* Rapped
When was the last time you breathed?
I mean honestly, fully, whole heartedly took a breath?
When was the last time you took a stand?
I mean verbally, viciously, fought for something you believed?
When was the last time you fell in love?
Fell so hard, you found yourself unwilling to even get up?
When was the last time you truly cared?
Thought about somebody else, not the person in the mirror
Self-centered, self-ish, but sophisicated
We pride ourselves in all the wars and the domination
But what’s the point in killing other beings created
Like ourselves? We’re just […]
My body tingles, my mind wanders and my spirits lift.
I think about it constantly.
I wonder how it will happen. when, it’ll happen…
It only makes me anxious… i want it so bad.
i cant get it out of my mind…
Then, a wave of sorrow washes over me.
completly distorting all good feeling.
im still here…
breathing, thinking, suffering…
i want to fucking die already!
i cant wait…no, i must!
we all have a time. it’s all destined.
i need someone in the meantime to make me happy. fuck me, love me, and hug me… thats all anyone can really do. cuz there […]
We stay alive because we know the pain we would cause those we love is much worse than the pain we are feeling inside.
Today I really tended and had the urge to cut myself and to plan my suicide. I felt really terrible today. It started this morning, the thoughts of don’t want to live anymore. I had to find out what the methods are to kill yourself. I had to, just to feel calmer. I searched on the internet and found a list with success rates. It made me happy and calm. It gaves me safety. I was thinking about what method I will do first. Lots of the methods were really painful or really hard to do. Like using a gun. How would I ever get […]
staring at the wall
i drew a rainbow
i drew a horse
my arm bleeding
dripping onto the floor
just stand there
looking past the wall
Blinded, can’t see.
Blinded with a blindfold.
Deaf, can’t hear.
Deafened by the silence.
Handicapped, can’t move.
Handicapped by my knife.
Scared, can’t live.
Scared because people ruined my life.
They ruined it, but they don’t realize.
They don’t know what effect it has.
Depressed, suicidal, self-harmed, scared, unable to live, marked for life.
They fucking don’t realize what I’m going through!
They fucking don’t realize that they were wrong!
But they were and I will never forgive them,
Because they ruined my life.
I failed.
I tried the butterfly project…
And it helped for a day…but I cut again.
Deeply.
I have 2inches of tissues on it cause its bleeding.
I’m a failure.
I deserve to die.
I… I… I Hate Myself….
I… I… I Wish I Would Die….
I… I… I Give Up…..
I… I… I Give You All I’ve Got…
You.. You… You Want More…
I… I… I Want to Cry…
I.. I… I Want to Die…
Be My Friend.. Hold Me.. Wrap Me Up… Unfold Me… I Am Small… And Needy… Warm Me Up… Breathe Me…
I AM CRYING SO BADLY INSIDE FOR YOU!!! I WANT TO SCREAM UNTIL I CAN NO LONGER SPEAK!!! PLEASE!!! JUST LET ME DIE!!!
The anger is boiling
Festering inside of me
It wants to erupt
But will remain hidden
Away from all the preying eyes
That lie in waiting for me to break
Hidden deep within my heart
Away from everyone
Too many secrets
Painful memories
Lies
Betrayal
I won’t ever tell
No deals
Just forget it
The anger will remain
But my face won’t show it
My heart won’t tell it
I’m fine
Perfectly fine
Miss cheerful
As always
The same simple lie
Within this twilight world
Lies emptiness and hate
I seek an epic journey
So that I might escape
Far away from this reality
To a world of ignorant bliss
I come from pain and torment
To embrace salvations kiss
I welcome a moment of hope
As short as it may be
But the hope always fades
And I am left empty
The tears they fall unfiltered and pure
Pouring out pain that nothing can cure
Tumbling, cascading like the waterfall
The vivid mark of agony’s call
Those salty drops of feminine curse
Trapped under weight, day by day growing worse
no one to catch them, no one to see
No one else lost in this hell-hole but me
Screaming in terror at the walls closing in
Dropping to my knees, my head starts to spin
Feeling the rage within growing stronger
What in the hell have I done that’s so wrong?
The quickness of breath and tightness of chest
I have endured through it all, gave […]
Please log in to report posts