True peace-Not to be

Hi Dods,
continuing from my other comment.

“you cannot argue that Mother Theresa did charity work in part because it made her feel good.”: Very briefly about her, she left her family FOR GD to do social work, devoting almost 70 years to it. During the early yrs, she had to beg for necessities for herself and others. At a time when leprosy and AIDS sufferers terrified ppl for contagion, she kissed their hands, hugged them and took them in. She often contracted illnesses from the ppl she helped. She purposely lived poverty to remind her the pain of the ones she was helping. Many times, Hindus threw sticks at her when she preached Christ.
“my point was that part of the root of every deed is to satisfy self-esteem.”: The level of her devotion to help is ridiculous. However, the reason she started was more for her religion than really to help people. For some others, it isn’t always self-esteem issues.
— Has there ever been anybody who helped for absolute ZERO self-benefit? Parents, good friends, do they do it because the person was important to them or because they are pure good incarnate?

On the flip-side; ppl who solicit donations for recent Tsunami, China Earthquake, and pocket everything. Both extremes are very rare among humanity. The big mass between? “person attempt suicide but did not accomplish – trying to gain sympathy points. person half hearted suicide jumping – land on concrete pavement 3-4ft from the block. she waited till the paramedics & police arrived………. conclusion, trying to gain sympathy points”, quote a random idiot from the net; a large no. of ppl who behave in this idiotic fashion.
— What I feel, and u don’t have to listen to me, is that when I see ppl sacrificing much more than they can expect in return, I see them as gd ppl, and a rarity in these times. I don’t even care abt their motivations. Of course, this (and everything I wrote) is only 1 person’s POV, and better if u just use these as food for thought to reach ur own conclusions.

“If you can’t recognize that then you are deluding yourself, which may have been just what you needed to grow out of some of your issues…”: Frankly speaking, I would rather not make this abt me. But since it was done with a semi-accusing tone… Do u know what it feels like to be so broken that everyday u cry for somebody, anybody to be a saviour, and yet no one came? Until ur mind snaps and u go insane and still no one came? And then u realise that ur saviour would have to sacrifice all his/her time, energy and even his Soul to love u to stand even a chance of getting u out of this bottomless rut, which means impossibility because humanity doesn’t exist such a person? So u give up all hope and truly feel like a Damned One, like a blind and crippled person wandering in Lifetime Hell looking for a tiny exit in an endless maze? I do, and I’m sure u too.
I’m not so big as to say “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies”, because I would love to let them know the consequences of being an asshole, but I TRULY believe almost all here don’t deserve this. I said before I needed a distraction for a while, and, yes, that’s MY selfish reason, but I needn’t come here for it when there are millions of other web-sites to spend my time on and, in all honesty, I’d rather help animals because I like them a lot more than humans. But I understand the need, the DESPERATION for help, from ppl who are like me, so I came here instead. Unfortunately, having said that, my limits means I can’t provide more than insignificant help, I know. But since many here are helping each other anyway, I just try to play a part as well.

Sorry for writing so much and being patient with me. Take care.