Yeah. Here it goes. I’m 19. Dropped out of school. Nothing going on in my life. My best friend has just stopped talking to me, probably for good. I’ve been in love with this girl for the past year or so but I haven’t talked to her since the last we saw(a year ago) I just got the courage to try and talk to her. Just talk to her. She doesn’t want to because she thinks it’s weird. I’ve been thinking about suicide for about two years now but it was only until a month ago that I actually came close to going through with it. Today everything has spiraled down. I have absolutely no one to confide in besides my therapist. But she’s no help. I feel like going up to a random stranger and asking them for help. The thing is. Nobody really gives a shit. At least not the people I want to. I really don’t see any point in it all. I don’t really know what I’m asking for here. Just kinda like a last ditch effort, I guess. Anybody wanna say anything?
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Dude, I know exactly what your going through. To be perfectly honest I’m going through some what of a similar situation myself, minus the dropping out of school thing. I have only a few friends and since I graduated high school I have even less. I kinda lost touch with almost all my friends from high school. Now in college, I have only a few friends and only about 1-2 close friends. My suggestion, as shitty as your situation may be. Find that friend that you know will pretty much do anything for you. They don’t have to say it or even express it. Just someone being there for you is enough to stay alive. I know that’s how I feel. As long as I have at least one TRUE friend, it’s good enough for me. I know that probably sounds like a bunch of BS, but trust me dude. It helps. Don’t give up bro.
I’m afraid I don’t have any great insight for you. I can only offer to talk to you or I can just listen if you prefer.
I have experienced the feelings you described and I still do, particularly “Nobody really gives a shit. At least not the people I want to.”
Even if I could convince you that I care, I am of little importance to you.
It’s ironic really; the people we want to care for us -don’t- and the people we don’t care about -do-.
You’re not alone man. If nothing else, hopefully you can take some small comfort in that.
yeah i’ve felt an urge to talk to strangers before. Not for your reasons, but I think you should give it at try. If you’re contemplating suicide, what have you got to lose. That’s the beauty of being suicidal or close and i never understood why people actually go through with it. Like in Fight Club “once you’ve lost everything, you are free to do anything”. Let out your deepest and craziest desires. Go run away into the woods or hitchhike across america or anything (that won’t hurt others, although that’s just me).
Hello phillip.
I hear this idea a lot from people that are not suicidal.
“That’s the beauty of being suicidal or close and i never understood why people actually go through with it. Like in Fight Club “once you’ve lost everything, you are free to do anythingâ€.
I can only speak for myself, but I will say that, unfortunately, it does not feel that way.
When you are so depressed that you are actively contemplating suicide, you have no desire or interest in anything anymore. The “deepest and craziest desires” have long since melted away from your mind and you are left with only despair.
It’s not just like, “Oh well, what have I got to lose…inhibitions are gone….lets go have fun and party!”
I do believe it is a kindhearted message and I can appreciate the good intentions of the people who say it, but I just felt compelled to respond and hopefuly clear up a common misconception.
-Peace