I don’t know what to do anymore. Last night I sat there in my room in my closet with the scissors to my wrist cutting.. not very deep. and i just kept imagining me going a little bit deeper and slowly dying. I don’t WANT to do. I want to escape what I’m feeling and I can’t find a way to do that, my only outlet is death. I try so hard to be stable it’s like I’m either SUPER happy, SUPER sad, or SUPER something and all I do is get yelled at for it by my mother. I’m trying so hard I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to be happy.. so badly. I just can’t be. Last night I cried my self to sleep. And this morning I didn’t want to wake up. I hurt so bad on the inside, i can barely feel anymore. I put myself down every day I always blame myself and treat myself like shit, and I CAN’T stop. I’m not sure why exactly I do it either. I’m totally confused and need to find refuge in something, ANYTHING. I feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. Every day I get yelled at by my mother or crapped on by my “friends” there’s no use in me being here any more. I hate this, so fucking much.