Permanent solution to temporary problems

Life isn’t a temporary problem. It’s a permanent problem. It keeps going and going, breeding conscious beings that suffer, then die.

This sounds pretty fucking herrendous, I have a terminal illness too, not as bad as yours by the sound of it though. I simply cannot offer any word of advice as I am not in your shoes. But the sense of having your life destroyed by something you couldn’t do anything about is crippling in itself never mind the stuff that goes with it. If I could give you any advice I would say to find a least a little peace with yourself make things that little bit more pleaseant, I know its extremely hard but like I said, I really can’t help you, I wish I could. What annoys me the most is that some people on here have their physical health and a partner in thier life, I would kill for either of these,because if I had either I could get my life somewhere near normal again. People still have a chance to get back to normal but when your physically dibilitated its a long way off, wherever you go whatever you do to occupy yourself your illness goes with you, its torture, its frustration its like having a weight chained to your body.
Please find peace
I’m sorry

My heart ached when I read this…if your not thinking about yourself at least live and think about your son!

Dear Friend:

You have suffered so much, and fear that the future will be more suffering.

Your despair and pain is very natural and understandable.

I would suggest just a few thoughts:

1. if you kill yourself, what will happen to your son?

Children have a very difficult time recovering from the suicide of a parent. It affects their entire lives.

Sometimes they end up killing themselves as well.

I know you plan on leaving a note for your son to explain things, but consider that he may never see it.

Many well-meaning families destroy suicide notes left for other relatives. Your son may never learn why you did this.

Please don’t spend your next child support check on a gun — think, instead, about getting your little boy some food and new shoes.

2. Consider that your little boy needs you to raise him.

I grew up with a mother who had very serious bouts of depression and did not leave the house much.

It was tough, but I am grateful that she did not kill herself. She tried hard to be a good parent, and I learned much from her. I have always relied on the good memories of her.

Your little boy will need good memories of you. He’s relying on you to teach him important things about being a parent, surviving bad times, and so on.

Your death would be the wrong lesson for him.

3. Regarding being “abnormal” — many of us have bad disabilities and mental problems and disfiguring physical problems, and other people laugh at us, and we feel very unattractive.

You are not alone in your feelings of pain and disfigurement!

But consider that your little boy loves you. He doesn’t care about your abnormality. You are his mom. If you die, that leaves a big hole in his life, one that no one else can fill.

No one can take ever your place in his life.

Maybe you could alter his whole life for the better by showing him what courage in tough times is like, including how to deal with an abnormality.

Also — being “abnormal” is not fun — but many of us have learned to live with physical and mental deformities, including incurable and disfiguring ones.

It is not easy, but we have worked out ways to cope with these problems and lead reasonably decent lives.

Have you joined any support groups or forums online for people suffering from your illness? If none exist, consider starting one.

The other people suffering from your disability may themselves have worked out ways of dealing with it that they could share with you, so you would feel less alone with your pain.

And you might be able to help some of them feel less lonely and despairing.

4. At the present time, it may be true that your skin abnormality cannot be treated.

But consider that there may be treatments in the future. Many times people have what appear to be hopeless diseases, and then a treatment is discovered that makes a big difference.

I have survived with several physicial and mental disabilities because treatments were discovered later in life that helped me.

But if I had been successful in previous suicide attempts, I wouldn’t have lived into an era where better medicine was available.

5. Consider that because you are deeply depressed, your brain is not functioning as well as it normally would, and is repeating a loop of negative thoughts over and over about your problems.

Consider that some of those thoughts may not be entirely accurate.

I know you are sick of being told to think positively — perhaps it might be worthwhile to think “more accurately.”

Consider contacting a counselor or therapist and asking for help in objectively assessing your current problems. Ask for a better anti-depressant. Explore what can be done to make you a bit more comfortable and help you feel better.

If you can’t leave the house, ask for phone therapy. Or get a relative to drive you to a counselor.

Many of us carry damaged bodies beneath our clothes and ailing minds under our skulls. Reach out to other people online who share your problems.

If your child were ill, I would guess that you would be kind to him. Please consider giving yourself the same kindness.

Many blessings for accurate thoughts and a recovery or stablization of your medical problems.

Cordially,
Struggling to Survive (been there)