Hi all, i’m new. i’m feeling suicidal, having been on and off for some time. But for me it is a source of hope. I feel as if the universe is telling me that my presence is no longer required. I can’t find work, i’m running out of money, i have serious health problems and no insurance and i will probably lose my house. my great fear is that i will be forced to live in my car. i think if i was told today that i had terminal cancer i would kiss the doctor. it would be such a relief.
Planning my death gives focus to my life. I am slowly giving my things away, cleaning and fixing up the house. I keep job hunting, but I really don’t expect to find anything. if you can no longer support yourself, I think choosing to die is a rational thing — even responsible — thing to do.