First, the blah blah. Â My mother wanted nothing to do with children, I was the only one she had that survived. Â The rest were aborted, but by the time she was pregnant with me in the late 1960s, with her being 34, she disappeared for days looking for someone to terminate the pregnancy. Â Finding no-one who would, and being a doctor herself, she tried various abortifacients (substances and treatments to induce abortion) on her own. Â Today, you can even easily find such things, though not labeled as such, at health food stores. Â That didn’t work, though I was sufficiently damaged at birth that I was […]
I want to die a heroic death. Go down in a blaze of glory. As Neil Young put it, “Its better to burn out than to fade away”. One of my worst fears is fading away. Letting old age cause my body to decay until I’m left with nothing but health problems and gray hair. I can’t let that happen, I don’t want my life to be for nothing. I want to have suffered for a reason. Me risking/losing my life for someone else. At least then there would have been a point to it all
I had one good day and then things fell apart. There were 2 1/2 decent weeks leading up to my one good day.Â Then my health problems came back.Â My health issues came back in an instant. The summer is basically over and I’m sick of this cycle. I can’t string together 3 good weeks. It’s hard to build a life this way. At times I really hate myself and my life. I ask people “What’s the point?” and they have no sensible answers. Having that one good day I could see that life is much better when your health is good and normal and […]
I have a great, great counselor. We’ve been through a lot together but things took a turn for the worse in my life about a year and a half ago and then I became physically injured on top of that. I had a list of phrases he helped come up with that used to help but now they no longer help. Like “I’m bigger than this” but I’m not, what I’m dealing with is bigger than me. I have fought and fought fought and almost made it, almost won but then I got smacked down and I can’t seem to beat my physical problems. I’m […]
I’m 24 years old. I have a bachelor degree.Â I can’t find a job. I live with my parents. Everyday I feelÂ like they don’t want me at home. Their home. I don’t feelÂ like it is my home anymore so I spend all the time in my room trying not to disturb them. When my mother was pregnant of meÂ she took a overdose of pills not caring about the baby. My dad didn’t want me to be born and the doctors said I was going to have serious health problems because of the overdose. So it was better to abort me they said. However I was born. […]
I’m 68 and have lived with depression since age 16. Anti-depressants help, but sure don’t solve everything. I’m single and have supported myself since college, but couldn’t handle the duplicity, meanness and emptiness of a corporate job and didn’t have the energy to start my own business. Besides, back in my day there was one career for women–marriage. I didn’t want that job unless it was a mutually fulfilling relationship, something I never found. As I told my mother once, I’m not a whore for sale and I won’t use a man that way.
I’ve managed to own my home. […]
Alright, I know this is more of a suicidal story site, but I was thinking and I almost attempted suicide, so I guess it sorta counts.
When I was about 3, my mom and my dad were constantly fighting. My mom was sleeping with other men, after she was married to my dad, to try to get rid of him. She apparently hated my dad, and wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. She was on several drugs, (and according to my grandmother so was my dad but before I was born) and she had all sorts of health problems, one night she even passed […]
Bullying affects soo many people, and some, the way to deal with it is suicide. Some people are brought up in a household where there aren’t happy gatherings, where there is domestic violence, to the woman, and the children are abused, bashed. Some people are lonely. Have no freinds, family, attention. Where the view from their eyes are empty. There are people who are sexual assaulted, raped. Where they are used for sex and torture. There are people who get kidnapped, lets say, kept by a pedo for many years. Where they are tortured with rape, bad living, and are alone with fear. There are […]
Look at these definitions of depression on slango Â so true but they dont say how to get out. We already know this stuff. Why doesnt it say how to get out? Or why we have depression?
â€£ A state of altered perception where one sees the world as bleak and dark. Â Feelings and actions such as purposelessness, disinterest, low self esteem, [self-harm], pessimism, suicidal thoughts or tendencies and a lack of motivation or energy may accompany it. It is not simply the feeling of being sad, but is a lasting state of mind that could be caused by a number of factors. Many health problems lead […]
Sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but i needed to say something to let stuff out for once. My life has not beenÂ very terrible,Â I just feel it was an unsuccessful one.Â I have known i wasn’t going to make it very long since i was 13, I would try to imagine myself doing normal things like getting a drivers license or dating but i just couldn’t see it or feel it. My father was physically abusive to my sister and mother andÂ emotionally abusive to me, my mother divorced him when i was 2 but she was scared and had an unlucky choice […]
Iâ€™ve been divorced for five years and havenâ€™t managed to get into another relationship. I hate living alone, am now 44, will never have a family of my own, am watching my friends pair up as I go home every night to cats. All of my relationships have been with extremely selfish men and even many of my friends have been disappointing. I’m an atheist and frequently feel as though I am the only person I know with any sense of right and wrong and how we should treat one another. When my ex best friend is now happy because she cheated on her husband […]
I’m a 24 year old man who has had breasts (gynecomastia) since I was 10.
My health has been slowly deteriorating and have many un-diagnosed health problems.
I’ll probably be dead by 30 due to these ‘natural’ causes.
I was born into poverty to foolish parents and no family support.
At this point in life, I tend to focus on the negatives in every person and thing.
My depression makes me want to help others who are also feeling depressed because I know how horrible it is.
Your life is valuable, so don’t throw it away when you can use it to help other people, which is the purpose of […]
Hey my names Jasiel and I’m 12 years old. This is going to take me a lot of guts because I haven’t told anyone about my problem…it all started when I was 9, I was a happy little girl just walking by her self like always, the day was pretty and perfect. Until…all of a sudden everything changed to black. I wasn’t scared because I was used to the dark. But then something got my intention, it was just laying there hopelessly without any movement. It looked familiar and so I walked towards it, I turn it around so I […]
I have attempted suicide a few times without success. I have suffered from menatl health problems for years an now been told i have a borderline personality disorder I feel more scared of living than dying I have researched on what the best an most painless way of dying an the helium seems a great choice so am in the process of purchasing all the equipment i need so i can die painless.
My name is Taylor. I’m 17 years old. And I’m ready to go…Â Â I’ve been bullied since I was 9. And even before that I always had trouble making friends. I have Asbergers Syndrome, and thus its painfully hard for me to talk to people. I’ve been to about 11 schools. I kept dropping out and going switching schools. I couldn’t handle the bullying. But the thing is, even though the setting changed the story never did. I always got picked on and left out. Id come home crying everyday. In 9th grade the bullying hit a peak. I went to a small private school then, […]
Hi all, i’m new. i’m feeling suicidal, having been on and off for some time. But for me it is a source of hope. I feel as if the universe is telling me that my presence is no longer required. I can’t find work, i’m running out of money, i have serious health problems and no insurance and i will probably lose my house. my great fear is that i will be forced to live in my car. i think if i was told today that i had terminal cancer i would kiss the doctor. it would be such a relief.
Planning my death gives focus […]
That is how I feel.Â I can’t believe I’m actually at a site like this but it’s getting worse.Â I’ve long felt I was depressed (my entire life), but this is the first time I’ve actually called it quits.Â I love life andÂ the experiences of living, I just hate my own life and would wish it upon nobody.Â I think the only reason why I haven’t succeeded in killing myself is because of one relative in my life.Â Â I have to outlive them.Â But once they go, my expiration will be soon after.Â Probably the same day.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in my life with the […]
I am a 39 year old female, who has worked hard my whole life and up till a few years ago could not have been prouder of where I was, and how far I had came. I have never been in trouble with the law, and have been with my husband for over 20 years, and could never think of life any other way. Till 3 years ago. I had a siezure. I had not had any health problems at all before that, but after that first one, I had 3 more within 2 months. After many, many different doctors, we never found out why. […]