why am i still alive?

August 17th, 2009by peppermint

hi, i am new here (sorry about my bad english) and i was hoping that i could finally tell how i feel and maybe.. someone would understand and listen. well, i feel like shit and i don’t fit in to my familys perfect world. my friends don’t take me seriously and my grandfather likes to hit me.

i guess this all began when i was 12 because he hit me for the first time (i am now 18) i don’t know why but my grandfather has always hated me. when i was 14 he told me that i am a pathetic asshole and terrible big sister to my brother and sister, i am ugly and fat and nobody wants me. (people say theres nothing wrong with the way i look…) i got depressed and i took an overdose, but i guess i didn’t took enough cause i’m still alive.. i don’t know.. i just wish that i could talk to someone.. i know it happened 4 years ago, but i think about it all the time because i have to see my grandfathers face everyday.. and it makes me sick. i don’t know what else to say, but i can’t take this pain anymore.

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