Im tired of all of these no offense, but really, jesus-freaks attacking me with i was ‘Put here for a reason, God loves you, Jesus made you….etc.’ I honestly do not care.
Yeah, i have family. yeah i have friends.
But whats eating me inside hurts me more than anything else could.
Its like heartbreak, jealousy, apathy, pain, impatience…everything that hurts put together into one.
I want to die, and i dont care who i hurt, because my grief inside is so much worse.
‘Its just a phase, every teen goes through it’ they say.
Well if i ever get the courage, ill prove you wrong.
Im a greedy, selfish, ugly, hateful girl. I love my parents and whats left of my friends, but lets be honest, my life is falling apart.
Im just causing more pain by living.
In death, maybe me mom will stop crying for my internal endless pain. Maybe everyone would know im at peace at last.
NO, not in heaven. Nor in hell. Just dead. No feeling, like being asleep.
Asleep forever, not knowing, not feeling, not hurting, not breathing.
Just…gone.
I would be the clouds they look at, i’ll be everywhere, the green grass, a droplet of ocean water.
Just not ugly, self-loathing, greedy, materialistic Kamille.
No, Im not saying im going to kill myself.
Im pretty sure i mentioned Im a coward and dont have a clue how to kill myself the least painful way.
So relax, take a deep breath, and stop shoving Jesus and faux-Happiness down my throat.
I would appreciate it,
Kamille.
7 comments
But jesus love you. Only joking Kamille but still your hard on your self. Feel like shit me to.
Yah my sentiments exactly, but please give yourself a chance…
How do you know what lies beyond will be peace? No one does.
So just keep on living.
What the heck is bugging you so much that you want to do this anyway?
No one really knows what lies beyond, no one. But I’m sure that when you die it’s just lights out forever, the sea of nothingness swallows you up…
THAT’S where Im heading when i get the house to my self. Look life is to be enjoyed Im here for a good time not this.
No one knows what lies beyond, thats true.
Im only hoping its nothingness.
And if only i could release all my troubles onto a stranger, onto anyone.
Not even my psychologist can get it out, i have a block on my tongue, I try so hard to tell someone, but its so hard.
Ive always been agnostic. Its true that religion has helped some people, but its down right foolish to think that’s the answer for everyone. Religion should never be the first thing to come up when talking to someone