Im tired of all of these no offense, but really, jesus-freaks attacking me with i was ‘Put here for a reason, God loves you, Jesus made you….etc.’ I honestly do not care.
Yeah, i have family. yeah i have friends.
But whats eating me inside hurts me more than anything else could.
Its like heartbreak, jealousy, apathy, pain, impatience…everything that hurts put together into one.
I want to die, and i dont care who i hurt, because my grief inside is so much worse.
‘Its just a phase, every teen goes through it’ they say.
Well if i ever get the courage, ill prove you wrong.
Im a greedy, selfish, ugly, hateful girl. I love my parents and whats left of my friends, but lets be honest, my life is falling apart.
Im just causing more pain by living.
In death, maybe me mom will stop crying for my internal endless pain. Maybe everyone would know im at peace at last.
NO, not in heaven. Nor in hell. Just dead. No feeling, like being asleep.
Asleep forever, not knowing, not feeling, not hurting, not breathing.
I would be the clouds they look at, i’ll be everywhere, the green grass, a droplet of ocean water.
Just not ugly, self-loathing, greedy, materialistic Kamille.
No, Im not saying im going to kill myself.
Im pretty sure i mentioned Im a coward and dont have a clue how to kill myself the least painful way.
So relax, take a deep breath, and stop shoving Jesus and faux-Happiness down my throat.
I would appreciate it,