Iâ€™m a 19 year old female student. And I seek help from you, because Iâ€™ve got no money to pay somebody to listen to me.
Iâ€™m not lesbian, I know that for sure, and neither is the person involved in this story.Â Despite this fact, I think we probably fell in love with each other some time ago. But let me tell you the whole story.
I met her on September 2009, but we didnâ€™t begin to talk seriously until the beginning of 2010. When we began talking, we discovered we had many things in common. We enjoyed the same music, had similar experiences in the past and shared many aspects of our personality. We thought we were twin souls. It was amazing.
The real story, however, began in May. We chatted a lot through MSN and, as a joke, we began to pretend that we were dating. It turned out to be awkward and fun at the same time. We began to say beautiful things to each other and laughed at all the problems love usually brings. We had a nice time. But things began to run out of control.
Final exams were coming, and we decided to meet every day to study. As days went by, we began to realize that we missed each other when we parted (we live in different cities). Text messages came and went every time we were apart, and we began to spend more and more time chatting. We sat at the university gardens, where no one watched us, and cuddled and held hands. We didnâ€™t know what it was, but it was beautiful.
Exams ended and summer came. We met several times throughout summer. She invited me to her house, and I spent two nights there. And on the first night I decided to do something I had in mind for some time ago: I gave her a peck. It was nothing more than that, but it shocked her. She also enjoyed it. We spent the rest of the night and the next one cuddling, hugging, holding hands and saying beautiful things to each other. I keep beautiful memories of that night.
We went on a little trip two weeks later. Four days. We spent all nights as the past ones, as if we were lovebirds. But the last night, she decided to kiss me. A real kiss. Our first one. It was a wonderful feeling.
The trip ended, and summer too, but that summer has definitely been the best one in my life. I discovered many things with her, and it was beautiful. MSN chats became love stories. We only talked about how we missed and loved each other. She even told me she was in love with me, but I still donâ€™t if that was a joke.
Be as it may, lessons began once again. We found a lone place at university where we could hide. And we hid there every time we could. And kissed each other for hours. We just kissed, but it was perfect. We needed each other.
But one day, things began to cool down. She began to feel less interested in hiding, but I needed that and I asked her every time. It was hard for me to convince her, but when she agreed she had fun too. Anyway, I felt like our story was drawing to an end, that our particular summer in middle autumn was over, and I began to feel depressed. She finally told me she was tired of all this, and that she wanted some time. She thought this was becoming a routine, and she didnâ€™t like that. I felt heartbroken, but I accepted her decision. The lovebirds were gone, the beautiful chats and text messages were gone too. I became officially depressed. I cried every time. I even thought I could kill myself. I began to live a Hell. I missed her a lot, and I couldnâ€™t bear it.
Christmas came, and during holidays there was some school work we had to finish. I invited her to my house. And it happened, once again. We watched a movie until midnight, and when it finished, she kissed me. And that night went just like the old times. I felt happy once again. We kissed and cuddled the following morning too, and I felt like if it was summer once again.
But she left, and happiness lasted for a few days. She turned cold once again, and my depression came back.
Things havenâ€™t improved since then. I cry almost every day for her, and the stress and failed exams of my university degree donâ€™t help much. I feel like I want to die, like something is eating me, and I canâ€™t take It no more. I came crying to her, seeking a comfort which she has never denied to me, but I know she is tired of my depression to. I donâ€™t wanna lose her friendship, but I fear I might. My friends donâ€™t care about me. I feel lost, alone, and I donâ€™t know what to do.
I PLEASE ASK FOR HELP. Thank you very much and thanks for reading.
FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME: firstname.lastname@example.org
PS: SorryÂ for my bad English