i dont know how i got to this point

i ve always bein negative all my life but i dont know how i got so scared of everything i just want it to stop know i feel empty death lonely and i just want it to stopp.. i got no one to tell this to i cant open up to no one i cant do shitt to feel some relief i havent bein out of my room seens forever and i thought that if i didnt go out and i stayed in my room i would have the little of sanity i had left but i feel the same fear than when im in the market or at a mall