Hello, My Name Is Daniel, But My Friends Call Me Mahnoodle. I don’t know whats happening in these past few days… I guess reality is hitting me hard =/. I figured out that my best friend’s mom took her away to like a mental place cause she tried to commit suicide. Supposedly I’m dating three girls at the same time. And Just like…. Shit. This whole Week, I’ve been looking over life. Basically I’m terrified that my friends in a Suicidal hall…. I’m like the one who caused it. I like new she was having problems…. but they were little…… so I didn’t really bother with them. Like I didn’t see that her problems were getting worse. And everyday I use to talk to her on the phone. I would go on the roof with the phone and we’d talk hours on end. And like today I look out my window and it haunts me. I have this one song to ( I’ll post it above ) that like haunts me… It makes me think of her. And Like I don’t Know anymore. She lives In Minnesota… and there’s nothing I can do cause I live in California. And Like her friends all blame, so I have no way of getting in contact with her. I tried apologizing and shit. But they Just Ignored me. We did have this major fight, and she wanted to make up but I just pushed her away. We like fought over I don’t know what. And like My other friend was in it to. Everyone’s Telling me not to blame myself. That its not my fault…. But like.. The way I see things is what things could have been. Like The other friend I was talking about.. I broke up with her. And like I don’t know… I see a Different her now. And like its not just me that has saw it. Her friend Kayla To…. and i don’t really care if either of them get mad at me for writing this… It comes from the heart. And like everything I say is true right now.  And hey… if they decide not to see me ever again… Just more on the list to kill myself about. And like this whole week I can’t Stop thinking about this girl. Like she really cared about me and shit. And for me to just push her away like that. And Like right now I look out my window… and I think of her, every conversation we had, And all the stuff we did together. I just imagine life past me by. I think of like. Everything. Right now, I wouldn’t be in a depressed state. I would be out. Enjoying my life. Like I feel like the one girl is the only person I would have in my life right now, and now look where she wound up. And for you guys out there That are like, wow, hes a player. No I am not. I told them that I’m dating Another person. And I really lost interest in love… Basically Its Just me saying I love you.. more then the avredge friend. I tell everyone I love  them. It Doesn’t Make A diffrence… Anyways.. Imma watch where the comments go and everything. If I don’t reply Back To You… You can add me on Facebook: Mahnoodle TFB or tweet: WhatWereMissing or even Text Me: +1 (951) 468-8789… I get free international. And yes, I’m not afraid to give out this Number, Cause Its a re-direct number to my real number… so yeah. Ill Post You Comment. Reminder: Listen to the song.
Just tried uploading 🙁 no luck… So heres The Youtube Vid…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emJWtjlOpuo&feature=related
2 comments
I know you feel responsible for this girl trying to commit suicide. That’s a given. But you didn’t know she was going to react that way. You even said that in your post.
Also…going into a mental health facility might be the best thing that ever happened to her. Who knows? It could help her. And therefore, if you were the ’cause’ of her suicide attempt–and, as you and I both know, it’s never just ONE thing that makes us want to die–but if that is the case, and this hospital thing helps her, then guess what? You’d also be the indirect cause of her being helped. 🙂
That song is long…haha. It was pretty, though…I can see why you relate to it.
It’s not your fault completely that she tried to commit suicide. It was most likely going to happen, but you probably did push it ahead by doing what you did.
Most people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.