I need it to look natural!

I can not stand this place anymore. I need any and all ideas on how to do the final deed but I want it to appear natural so my wife will get insurance money and no one will realize it wasn’t suicide. I am a grown man (mid 30’s) with good core values. I served in the military and paid for my GI Bill out of my first years’ salary. I had a girlfriend going in that I was gonna marry when I got out. She sent me a letter saying she was sorry but she messed around and didn’t want to be with me. Ok, I had a great group of friends that got me through that BS. Near the end of my active duty enlistment, I weighed in for my Physical Training exam and was slighlty overweight which failed me from the start. I completed all the exercises ahead of most in my squadron (even though I didn’t even have to do any of it as I had already failed anyway)! I was allowed to use up my remaining vacation time but they kept me around anyway until my end of enlistment date in which case I lost 30 days of leave I had earned over the years. I got an honorable discharge, but when I reported back in to my recruiter’s station when I got out, they just stamped my paperwork as if I could go right back in if I wanted to…what was the whole point?!?! Last year I tried to go back to school to better myself knowing the economy is shit. I went to to local community college where they told me my GI Bill was expired (good to find out years later). I don’t have that extra money to go back to school, but what bothers me is a woman I work with that came over from Africa a few years ago got a full paid scholarship for the Registered nursing program and she has completed all the requirements except the last test. I believe she has done this to keep her status in this country as a student. So I can’t go to school even though I paid for it but someone from another country can come here, stay here, and get a free education on my dime.
I did meet my wife almost right out of the military. Married her back in 2000. Tough start and she didn’t want to have kids with me back in the beginning and over the years she developed problems that now make it just about impossible to have kids (I have wanted kids all my life, btw). Now, I feel I do not want kids and she resents me for that even though she made that same decision back then. I have a job I actually enjoy for the most part, but my bosses constantly screw me out of work and most of my coworkers are back stabbing assholes. I developed a phenominal friendship with this guy from work and we became best friends over the years. I called this guy brother. Last year I suspect my wife is cheating on me and/or at the very least emotionally divorced me. We never had sex or kissed and held hands or even talked really. I asked for a divorce and she showed me the emotions she had bottled up inside which changed my mind. Things are still not better though.
An old girlfriend from high school (not the girl from the beginning) contacted me through a social network. This girl and I in high school were “That couple” that everyone thought were gonna get married and be together forever. To this day I do not remember why we broke up our senior year, but we did. Anyway, she is married with a child. We reconnected as friends and started talking and 1 thing led to another and yes, I cheated on my wife. This woman is so amazing and is my every sexual desire and want and need rolled into 1 person. We had an amazing connection, but my conscience help me back. She was gonna leave her husband for me, but I couldn’t allow her to do that. Understandably for her, she saw that as me not wanting her anymore. I asked her to understand that I couldn’t just quit on my wife after so many years of marriage. Meanwhile, I had told my best friend everything because, well…he was a brother to me. I am pretty much an open book. He starts chatting with her through this social network. Before I know it, him and her want NOTHING to do with me despite my amazing connection with them both. I love(d) this woman so much that I can not love my wife anymore even the way it used to be. I feel so horrible for that, but if I tell my wife, the marriage is gone too. So here I am today. A man with nothing inside of him because he betrayed his own sacred core values of being a real man for a love of a lifetime that I shouldn’t have done anything with but did. Couldn’t just leave my wife for her so she went behind my back and now loves my “Best Friend/Brother”. My marriage is shit and my wife lives for her job and I come second.My job is coming to an end soon.
So yeah, I figure crying every single day is not a way to live anymore. I don’t want pity or I am not doing this for a cry for help. I honestly believe this world has gone to shit completely and I don’t want to hang around anymore. However, I figure the last thing I can do as a man is kill myself in a way that appears natural so my wife can at least get some insurance money and pay off the house so she doesn’t have to lose her dream house. I even just stopped a minute to re read what I just wrote and although it might seem petty to some, I can assure you, that really want out.
Please don’t start with the holy rollers and don’t do it because it’s a sin and it’s not fair to those who love you stuff. I appreciate all of that, but honestly, this is truly hell that I am living now and if those people around me loved me, I might not be asking to go so badly. This life is bigger than all of us. I am an insignificant spec of dust floating around in the dark open ocean of life, at night, in a storm, with starving sharks ready for feeding time. Help me feed them.