My Moment Of Stress

Okay, all I can think about is my past. Everything that I did. And Now I look At Me Right now. And I say to myself.. ‘What have I done’ And I look where I changed…. I can Never Find It. Am I the one changing or are the people around me changing? Is this really life? Or am I just living it wrong? I try to fit in with the minority. I have no spot to go into though. I wanna kill myself right now cause I gave up My life for this girl. I was so in love with her That I didn’t see that it was wrecking my world. And right now I’m talking to my ex, and like I’m looking at it and I’m thinking does she really love me for me, or just to have the concept of having me? Cuase When I showed her my last post she was like I don’t care, I just want to know if your safe. And That really bothered me. I haven’t told her yet. But, Ill get the time to show her this one. I’ve turned into the girl I’m missing right now. And… I’m starting to figure out we thought the same way about everything. Our view points are the same. But I can’t go back now. What have I done. She was the only one that would everyday talk to me. She would make room just to talk to me and help me. I guess we were the perfect couple…. I went out with her for like two days…. and then it broke… but we were still friends. I had a way. If she was still here right now I wouldn’t  be in this depressed state. I tried making A deal with god, and I failed…. I’m not worth shit right now. I guess I’m just a selfish mother fucker huh? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about selling my soul to the devil… He offers happiness…. I just don’t know. I use to have someone right here but now there all gone. I’ve relizied that I have no real friends right now. I have the ones that I would die And they’d think about me for a day… then think about me 1 a year for the rest of my life. I’m just like waqsting my time living right now…. I believe that the whole point of living is to reproduce. And if you can’t reproduce… just make others stay alive… And like its pointless for me… Like after I help someone from being sad… we usually talk like an hour after then they forget all about me… they don’t even take the desency to say thanks… or even Hi once and a little while. So I’ll end it here… You can always contact me +1 951 468 8789 I get free international And Facebook: Mahnoodle TFB…. I’ll try and keep up with the comments… Later SP.