restless

growing restless
with relentless panic
and I know the cure
a quick slice of the knife
and all the pain rushes out
gushes out in pools of blood
or I can take those pills
crush them to a fine powder
vacuum them up my nose
into my bloodstream
feel the particles deep in my marrow
finding the pain in every corner
and killing the last bit of it
or a quick shot of vodka
and then eight more
and all the weight off my shoulders
slipping away like a distant memory
but all these cures fade fast
and here I am again
feeling so restless