i am absolutely fed up with my family. I feel like screaming and crying. I want to pound my fists on something. I wish i knew where my box knife was. I would put myself in the hospital right now. I dont have enough meds. My knife is missing and the whole world is against me. The man i love is MIA. I dint know what to do. I just want to completely give up. Just thinking about it makes my head spin and now im getting a headache. The last time i cut i was so pissed off and irrate i didnt feel it. And now im ready to do it again, Everyone i ever loved let me down, no i let them down. I always felll my family. I can never be the perffect daughter they want me to be. I always screw up every fucking thing. I just want to die and disappear for good then everyone will be happy and i’ll be one less person to worry about.
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I’m sorry to hear that your feeling so bad right now life cam seem so over-whelming and difficult and there are going to be so many challenges that you will face but trust me what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Your family although it doesn’t feel like it to you do love you and would be utterly devastated if you harmed yourself in anyway I know my brother killed himself this year and I am more gutted than I can express. Think about what you want to achieve in life what do you want for the future? Try to think ahead as this situation won’t always be your life you have so much to live for a great and wonderful future you can get past this xx
i know they love me but they all have a hell of a way of showing it. I just dont know if i can handle it anymore. ive been an emotional rollercoaster all year. and it just gets worse. I’ll try and write more tomorrow. i need to attempt to go to bed, i have to work in the morning, so i can pay my rent to my grandma. thanx anyway.
I have felt my whole life that the people I love have either left me or I have left them, and I spent a good chunk of the past couple of years beating myself up about it. But, what I realised is that I needed to stay true to myself. I needed to be honest with myself, work on bettering myself, before I ever needed to worry about friends or the man I love (who is no longer in contact with me either…) because, no matter how much it hurts, I will only hurt them if I can’t at least come to terms with my depression. I’m not sure if this is helping but I really hope it does. I just want to say I relate, but there are ways you can successfully deal with this and get through this. I don’t know your religion but for what it’s worth, I will pray for your love, at least positive thoughts, right?
Nobody is perfect, sweetie, and what I have learned is that sometimes our family is hard on us, and it brings us down, but they don’t mean it that way. Doesn’t mean it’s any easier to hear, but it is easier to deal with, because you can try to remember not to take it personally. 🙂 Does that make sense?
Take care, you are beautiful just the way you are, and I fully 100% mean that. Be safe ♥♥
I am agnostic, recently i decided i wasnt christian, i am thinking about becoming wiccan, and i know my family doesnt intenionally hurt me but they do it. I am finally trying to get my life straigh, first by getting a job, and i finally got one. And then i need to get out on my own, but im not sure when ill be able to move out. ANd thank you. LAst night was a really bad night for me. I was texting the guy i fell in love with, and i tolld him that i hated myself and that i was afraid of myself. Wheni get really upset and when i am super depressed i do a lot of things andi dont give it a second thought, but he calledd me and told me that i shouldnt be afraid of myself and i shouldnt hate myself. I am actually glad that i couldnt find my box knife, to be perfectly honest. I actually ended up staying up most of the night, on facebook talking to a couple of friedns that sort of helped me. BUt i still have my down moments.
Thank you very much, i will try to take care. <3 🙂
I’m thrilled to hear things are going better for you. 🙂 I’m trying to get a job too, I’m really glad to hear you got one, and I hope you can move out soon. 🙂 A dear friend of mine was wiccan, from what I know of it it sounds like a peaceful religion, if I wasn’t Christian I might look into it. Perhaps you could talk to your family about the ways they hurt you?
I recently had the urge to cut but I keep my tools in an inconvenient place, so it’s hard for me to get them. It helps to have them out of the way. Having some friends who will listen and support you is a great thing, and it’s okay to have your down moments, provided they’re not your last. 🙂 good luck, I am always here if you need someone to talk to. ♥♥
Thanx. But trying to talk to my family is really like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. i cant talk to my family its impossible. but things area bit better now.but not too much.