You’re probably not interested in what I have to say but I’ve been reading these forums for about a week after stumbling across them. I just want somewhere to leave my thoughts so I figured this would do.
As the subject line says…. I failed. Pretty badly. I look back at what could have been and compare it to what I am now and think ‘oops, I kinda screwed that up’. I won’t bore you all with the details but if you are reading this then you are reading the writings of a once talented sportsman, who moved to America to pursue his dream, had a super model looking girlfriend who was my childhood sweetheart, was loved by everyone, had the world at his feet and who now lives alone in a room in a shared house, can’t afford to feed himself properly, has no contact with his family or any old friends at all, takes anti-depressants and has no future to pursue whatsoever. My childhood sweetheart got married in September to someone else.
But meh, enough of that. I’m sure most people on here have enough of their own problems to deal with. The fact is this… I don’t blame anyone else for where I’ve ended up in my life, an unfortunate series of events saw to that. I don’t want pity from anyone, I don’t want people trying to tell me that everything will be okay and that things will get better because no matter how good they could get, although there is little to no possibility of things being anything more than bearable it’s not what I came here to do. I came here to be awesome lol. I came here to leave my mark, to make people happy, to be a great uncle/brother/friend, and to be with my childhood sweetheart and soulmate. Now I can’t do any of those things.
I guess my life really ended a long time ago, and now it just feels like I am on a life support machine. There’s nothing there to live for, but I go on living regardless. I look forward to the day when I don’t have to get up in the morning and go through another day realising I failed . I wish I could fix things but sometimes when we drop something it breaks into too many pieces to be glued back together.
Wah wah wah, woe is me. I tried, I failed. I don’t do failure very well, so I’m off, out of here. Â Waiting on my next paycheque so I can afford the stuff I need to do it the way I want (Ironically I’ve tried twice before.. and failed lol).
Life is there to be lived, live it while you can. I’ve lived mine. Had an awesome time, now I’m going to take those good memories and bow out before they get swamped by the bad ones. Ciao good ppl, awesome site, keep up the good work. See u all on the flip side
1 comment
Fair enough.
Actually I think you do failure quite well. You’ve accepted it – embraced it even – and decided that the broken pieces of your dreams are too small to be salvaged. Again – fair enough. Just one question. Ever considered having another dream? Just a thought.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.