I’m at the point of my life right now where I’m between childhood and adulthood and pretty soon I’ll be entering the real world. I’m scared about what I’m going to do with my life and I feel like I have nothing to offer in life, that I shouldn’t even be here right now because I’m useless and can’t do anything right. I feel pretty insignificant and scared to tell anyone about it in fear of the reaction they’ll have when I tell them. I’ve already gone through three therapists and none of them have really helped, or more like me thinking that I’m fine and then leaving. But then in the middle of the night these fears always come back to me and I don’t know what to do. I feel as if no one can help me. I feel like a coward, a weakling, that doesn’t deserve to be placed out in the world for being such a wimp and to even be thinking about such things. People tell me in time that it get’s better, and I’m still waiting for that to happen, but I don’t know how much longer I can bare the pain and fear that I’m feeling right now. Is someone willing to give me words of wisdom on why I should still keep on living or tell me how to cope with these fears I have. I don’t plan on killing myself I just want some answers that don’t involve the words “it get’s better with time.” Please help me.
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Tell me what your dream is. Everyone has one. What would make you happiest and give your life meaning?
It’s normal to be afraid of the unknown and, at this point, the world seems to be very much unknown. The trouble is that no-one can really say what the world will have in store for you. Some of it will be down to whatever choices you make but a lot of it will be beyond your control.
As you get older and learn more about yourself and the world, you’ll learn how to deal with your fears and worries – if only to realise that the worst part about fear is fear itself. Once you finally start dipping your toes into the world, you’ll see that the worst part is your fear of it. I’m not saying that it will be all roses but fear often magnifies the bad elements of things. It’s not really time that these things get better with as experience – and that’s something you CAN only get with time. Does any of that make any sense.
I’m not certain that I’ve put it particularly well. Perhaps someone else will be able to help more. Good luck.
There is no need to be scared of what you’re going to do in life … most people will have major shifts many times from what they originally thought they would be doing … i have had no less than five completely different careers – all of which were nothing that i ever thought I’d be doing when I thought about it as I entered 1st year of high school.
Don’t be in a hurry to define who you are until YOU know who you are – you don’t “owe” the world anything so don’t ever worry about having “nothing to offer in life” – you don’t owe anything – but we all have love, hope, and kindness to offer ourselves and others – all things that don’t cost anything and don’t require any special training.
As for doing anything “right”:
“There is never a ‘right’ way to do something, but there IS a WRONG way to do something”
How to do any one thing does not matter so much as completing the task – there are a million ways to do something but at the end of the day if it’s done satisfactory that’s all that counts … focus on NOT doing the things the wrong way.
Life is to be enjoyed – not feared – no one “earns the “right” to “enter the real world” … simply by being born – we’re destined to be in the world – we’re free to do with it any damn thing we want! Childhood and school is just us building a toolbox and filling it with tools – all you can do is try to collect as many ‘tools” as possible so you can be prepared for anything that you meet along the way.
But because learning is a life long process – we are not limited to “only” the tools we collected during childhood – much like going to the store to get milk and bread – we can always learn and do new things at any time and any age.
life dawg
Many years ago, just after I got divorced and had decided to not kill myself at that particular time, even though I was laid off work at the same time and my self esteem was nonexistent, I saw a help wanted ad for a job that I had never done in a place about 150 miles from where I lived. The job was for a person to repair computerized machinery (CNC) which I had never seen before. Past experience had given me exposure to electronics and I was very good mechanically, so I took a gamble.
I decided to take a chance and fake it and apply for the job. First I had to do some homework and learn about these CNC controls before going for an interview.
I went to a local manufacturing plant and asked for a tour. I told them that I was attending a local college and was writing a paper on modern manufacturing using CNC machinery and needed to do some research. They were happy to give me a tour and explain the operation of various CNC machines. I took copious notes and asked a ton of questions.
I was certain that based on what I had learned on the tour and in browsing the local library, I could fake it enough in the interview and if hired, I could learn fast before they found out I did not know shit about CNC. I was hired and they put me in their assembly plant first to get used to their products before going out on the road. The production manager told the service manager, I was the most enthusiastic and energetic 40 year old he had ever seen. I had no hesitation about climbing up on the various machines in different stages of assembly so I could see up close how everything worked. I managed to fake them out initially until I had learned. Of course I did have some natural talent and abilities to go along with the BS as well as an above average IQ. (not tooting my horn)
So there I had moved away from the town I had lived in for 25 years and started a totally new career at a significant increase in pay from my previous job. It can be done if you are brave enough to take a chance.
If you never reach for the stars, you will never get out of your boring old back yard. Go for it, take a chance; the worst that can happen is that you will wind up back where you started. Try something new now.
I can truthfully say that if I was not willing to go out in the shit storm and try something new, I would probably have killed myself decades ago.
Live a little, before you die a lot.
DR