Much Better

Yesterday was Horrible! It marked an All Time Low for Me. I had never woke up and immediately wanted to die. I guess i didnt want to face reality yesterday. That was the 1st time that I actively reached out to someone for help. Its like I wanted to Kill myself but I kept finding reasons to live. From the time I woke up at 7am until around 11pm or midnight, I seriously battled those feelings. It was a Great fight, and the best thing is that I Won; I’m still here. To some, i just did the right thing,but they dont understand the chemical imbalance! Every part of my body desired to be shut down. I even wrote a detailed suicide letter last night before I left my mom’s house. I did cut my arm up though; it was a way of relieving the pressure. I just signed up for this site bc I was searching for pro-suicide websites and ran across this one. I must say thank you to everyone who talked to me yesterday and even those who posted their own stories. Its funny; I was looking for someone to tell me why I should die, and found every reason to live. Thank you all… I Feel Much Better