So Im wrapping up my time with the last attempt at therapy (DBT),even did extra time. My last day is in a few days,and I dont have much support afterwards. I thought maybe I had found others (IRL) who felt like me,but now its all falling apart. Everything around me is empty,and I only have one meager trip to give me some light,but then I know its time to go. My birthday is in a couple of weeks,if it werent for this trip I would end it so that I didnt turn a year older.But seriously,after that…nothing has helped,Im still miserable and nothing can make me value my life or myself. My question,to the Australians on here…do they sell party balloon kits in stores in OZ?
Anyone in the same boat,message me,give me strength to hang on these last few months. I wish I didnt have the capacity to care what people think of me anymore. i made that mistake again,and am let down again of course.
I continue to wish that somehow,some accident will take me of its own accord.
7 comments
yes subird they do … 🙂 why?
and people do care be they online or in real life, but people are ‘sometimes’ too busy/too engrossed in their own worries to “show it”.
Friendships are like a plant, you gotta look after them.
Stay well 🙂
Sounds like a grievous situation indeed. If i may, what is falling apart with the IRL friends? I am in a similar boat, the only strength i find is in the one person i care about, this site, and an activity I do daily. Without this i would’ve been gone a long time ago, but alas, i feel myself that tomorrow is my day, i always like the 7 and 13, so to myself i feel like there is nothing left, but here i am, on this website, talking with strangers, I find it… intriguing. I know i should give it a bit more and that there could be options i have not exhausted to find a solution. So i give to you, a few possible options, if any of those friends are in an activity, or you find you like an activity, do it and live it hard. If you want to meet new people or just someone, try an activity where you are starting anew and a lot of others are as well. That you care what people think means you should keep trying for a bit longer imo, because really a few more months can’t hurt that much more, you’ve been through it a lot longer already. (heh i should listen to my own advice eh, but for me i just dont care, I’m merely using my time, waiting, with everything ready, been like this for 2 months (trying new things but to no avail). And i’m sorry( but not really, yay not caring, but woohoo for putting on that brave face so i can do it without someone stopping me) if I’m ranting, i lose myself in randomness like this a lot, but does not make it any less true.
hey sunbird. I just became addicted to this site. Using my phone through the day to check things out and sit online most the night on my computer. This site has brought me comfort, makes me smile and sometimes cry. This may not be the answer for you but for the time being you can feel free here. say what you want and get it out. find someone that relates to you and feels your pain. you are not alone. none of us are alone here. someone will always be here for you.
hey sunbird…you are in good hands here with these fellas….for sure
just wanted to say mwtele…not criticizing you at all…i think you are awesome….just some things i don’t understand….my problem….it’s all good….keep up the good work….the payoffs are amazing…
Namaste
Hey sunbird where abouts in Aus are you from?
Thabks for feedback…Ive actually written on here before from time to time,spelled out my story in another post.
I dont really have IRL friends,just ppl at the group that I can identify with and talk to,but my last day there is this week,so thats that. Im starting with a new individual therapist too,but I already know its going to be a waste,she said she deals with younger ppl and doesnt really like to deal with BPD.But,I had to have someone in order to leave the group,so there it is.
I dont live in Aus,but Im planning a trip there in a few months….its the only thing in my life I have left to look forward to. I have been thinking about ending it at the end of my trip while Im there…might be easier for a foreigner to blend into obscurity,I dont know. otherwise Ill come back here and do it then,I suppose.