the poem

Tears streaming down my fave my hands shake as i pick up the cigaret from the ashtray.i have all these differentt thoughts running threw my mind do i deserve to die or is that just the devil inside.i gt up tears coming harder because i know what im about to do.i race toy room, nothing can stop me from what iam about to do.i look for my pills there they are right on the dresser as they were before.i open them up and count them out loud,theres only fifty but im about to swallow them down,im done i did it now i have to wait knowing that this is my only way to exscape,now im feeling the effect i feel drousy i lay down to fall asleep……..whats that noise(beep beep beep) i open my eyes and see all these thimgs taped to me god why did someone have to save me