It has almost been seven years since you were taken away from me. Every holiday, especially Mother’s Day, your birthday, and the anniversary are particularly hard for me. However, what is killing me is that I cannot remember how your voice sounded, how you smelled, whether your hands were soft or rough, how it felt to be hugged by you. With every passing day your memory gets fuzzier. And I am in so much pain because I have had to grow up without you surrounded by people who do not appreciate their own mothers. I hate how people make passing comments about “my mom” without realizing what my reality is. I hate how this makes me different, and I hate it when people feel bad for me or pass judgements thinking that I should be over you by now. I am done because life is not worth it when you have to live like how I do, constantly anxious having panic attacks or days when it is impossible to get out of bed. This mother’s day I plan on leaving here so that I can be with you permanently. I am just trying to figure out how, but don’t worry… we will be together soon.
Love,
Your Daughter.
3 comments
I’m sorry, cbrown. I can only imagine the level of suffering that you have experienced in the loss of your mother. What if you chose to live in order to honor her memory? What if you did things that she would enjoy and appreciate? You would have an opportunity to continue her legacy… and perhaps share her legacy with others. Memories do get fuzzy with time… Write notes about them… and try to live in a way that cherishes them.
Hi cbrown. i understand your pain,i know how unbearble it can be…my mom is gone too.:( but i know for a fact that our moms would want us to live…we would break their hearts by going through with this.please don’t give up! i’m always here for you k? please don’t give up,you aren’t alone in this.
Hi there, I am so sorry for your pain. I don’t have your experience, so I don’t completely understand how this must feel for you. I have read many posts, but keep coming back to yours. There is no doubt that you can make any decision you please. Nobody knows your current family/friend life at this time in your world. I have great compassion for you, and I wish only the best for you. I hope you will consider anything and everything before making that final decision. It is final. Take care of YOU.