I’m a 15 year old girl. I have major depression, dysthymia, cyclothymia, and mildly bipolar. My family and i dont get along at all. I dont really have any friends at school, and i suck at school. I have been self harming myself for five years, and it has become an addiction to me. iv been put in a hospital before, and im scared that its going to happen again. iv attempted suicde before, and sometimes it still crosses my mind. i dont feel that if i were to commit suicide, anyone would care. i feel lifeless all the time. i just want to feel what its like to be happy without a voice in my head telling me that being happy isnt rite, and telling me that i dont deserve to be happy. i just want somebody that actually knows how i feel, but out of all the people that i know, nobody knows… or nobody wants to listen.
5 comments
Hey Natalie,
I love your name, by the way.
I’m glad you found this site! It’s helped a lot of people and I’m sure that you’ll feel better once you start posting your feelings. People here know what it’s like to have no one to listen to them. That’s why I like this site, because we have eachother. 🙂 This may be a dumb question, but have you ever told your doctor about the voice and your depression? You should go to a psychiatrist. They’ll be able to perscribe you medication that should help. Therapy also helps. If you feel like you want to cut, try posting your feelings here. They don’t have to be in complete sentences, just rant what you’re feeling! It feels great and you wouldn’t be hurting yourself, which is also a bonus. I hope you feel better, Hun. Everyone deserves to be happy. Remember that.
hi,
iv only told my counslors about everything, i havent seen my doctor in awhile, but next time that i go my parents are going to talk about that whole thing. and i do have an appointment with a psychiatrist an a few days, iv been waiting for this for a long time now. but i am glad that i found this site, because it seems like someone is always listening.
hi Natalie… I remember what is was like when I was 15. There was a lot of stress… both in school and at home. I know you’ve been fighting some issues for a while… and that all seems lost. It isn’t lost. The high school years… and all they involve… can take a toll on you. You said you wanted to feel what it’s like to be happy… without anything blocking it. Happiness will come.. It might not come overnight.. but it will come.
I read your diagnoses. Are you seeing a counselor now? I think that would help you. Also know that the high school years don’t last forever. After high school, you’re ready for college or the working world… or a route that you decide. That will allow you some freedom and the chance to make some new decisions. Life might be quite different than it is today. Study hard now… You’ll need that knowledge.
We want to listen… There are people out there who care. We care here. People here come from all walks of life… and, no doubt, someone is experiencing something similar to what you’re going through. Don’t give up.
helllo, i hope that happiness comes, because everything almost seems hopeless that it will. its been so long since iv been happy that i cant even really remember. i am seeing a couple counslors rite now, and i have an appointment in a couple of days to go and get some medicine. but thank you for telling me this, because this seems like the only place that people listen and care.
I don’t know whether you like model planes but making them are my favourite thing. Sad I know. So let’s say you were a model plane first you have to open the box, take out the instructions and fit the pieces together in a proper order. After that you can paint it. I think it’s all about the different processes and you can’t just fix everything at once. Try and conquer the depression by speaking to a specialist psychiatrist. Once your mood improves your school work will be much easier. Don’t look for people to support you. That’s not how the real world is, unfortunately. Just be happy with yourself and slowly make friends but without expecting anything from them. Start doing things you enjoy then the cutting will not be on your mind as much. I am going to start doing stuff like I dint know pottery, creative writing, anything. You have to approach things logically.