one of my worste pains was never having a permentent home, never having somewhere i could call home,being misunderstood and labled for it just makes you even more angry, angry enough to scream, then people looked at me like i was even more crazy,but they had no idea what was going on behind four walls, i had times i told and noone did anything, never really had a chance in life,always controlled by the fucked up justice system that stood there and let me get abused and neglected,i guess i didnt know how worthless i was till i was 7 years old and i was left on the side of a road like a bag of trash,going to foster homes coming back to that same abuseive *****,i guess one of the reasons i started trying to kill myself and hurt myself so i could feel a sence of control,the day i was about 9 years old and my mom came in the bathroom wen i was taking a bath and she attempted to drowned me, the thought of someone trying to kill me isnt even as scarey as not being in controll, iv been scared of water ever since,now that iv finally lived in the same city for more then a year, i cant take it, but im still on papers im stuck here and just have my self, nobody gives a crap about me,people continue to lie to me and treat me like im worthless like iv been all along, i make friends and they use me, i believe people and they lie, they say noone can love you if you dont love yourself, thats bullshit, i was hated before i new what i was feeling, so somebody tell me a inocent baby left in a dirty diaper going to bed hungry cause noone loves um means they have to love there self at a few months old, the point is,if im not worth it im not worth it, iv been treated less then humane my whole life, so what the hell is there to love if i have noone,and noone loves me, i aint anything
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4 comments
You are worth it, you’ve have a fucked up beginning and a hell of a battle ahead of you. But you are now in control. You know what is right and wrong and what your mother did was very very wrong. She’ll get hers. Forget her. She’s scum.
You on the other hand have got potential if you can muster the strength to prove it first to yourself and then to the rest of the world.
And if you want to reply then you have me and if you’re up for talking I’ll be online alllll night 🙂
tell me a bit about your present situation
If you imagine the world as a giant maze. Most of us, through thousands of years of evolution are encoded with sense of purpose; which is to escape. So we all wonder around whether we like it or not in a sort of logical direction. There is a time limit by which we must find our way out. Anything that occurs within the maze is not real and is of absolutely no significance. Things can only have meaning if they occur outside. The problem is that there is no way out. Life on earth is an illusion. There can be no winners or losers in a game that does not exist. If you think about things carefully, you are no more worthless than anyone else.
i hope someday i feel worth something,i know it would be so much easier if i wasnt stuck on papers or protectivley placed,im already 21 years old and havent even been allowed to start living my life yet,
You have to exercise as much control as you are able. You are 21 and therefore an adult and you have the goal of having your own place work for it hun, you’ll get there.