A last and final visit

Hello my dear friends.

Today I am not here to rant about my feelings or my life that has fallen apart. I’m here to speak to you, hoping that this post will be a source of light in your time of struggle.

I call you my dear friends, because although I have probably never met any of you before, I believe that is what we are. We didn’t choose it, but each of us has been connected by a common cause. In some ways, many of you probably understand me much better than any of my closest friends. Depression isn’t something that can be easily explained; I can’t tell someone how I’m feeling and expect them to understand. But I know all of you know exactly what I’m referring to when I speak of the darkness that so many of us have been affected by.

I spent some time reading many of your posts, and I realize that our lives are all so different. Some of you seem to be extremely young, and others live lives that I can’t even begin to picture. I truly wish to help you all, and I wish I could. But I am in no position to say I understand what each of you are dealing with because honestly, I don’t. I understand depression and the horrible things it makes us feel, but in no way can I understand to full extent the different things you are struggling with.

I am happy to say that my depression has lifted, and I am forever grateful and hopeful that it will never revisit me. I used to be doubtful that depression could ever be “cured”, I believed that some of us were just born dark and that was how it was meant to be. Sometimes I hate the fact that I have become  a “normal” or “happy” person, but I began to truly live my life when I was free from the darkness, and everyday I discover new things about life that continue to amaze me.

I come to this site often, to read or just to try and encourage. But I realize that sadly, there is not much I can do for you all.

I will no longer be visiting this website, for it breaks my heart to know that so many people are oppressed by this darkness and there is not a single thing I can do about it.

But before I leave, I ask just ONE THING of you guys. It may seem completely stupid or illogical or maybe even offensive. And forgive me for any of those things. But I ask that just ONCE, you would attend a Christian church service. Even if you go in contempt or hate for the religion, and vow to never go back again, I ask that you just do it once. How can we truly say we reject or hate something when we have never tried it before? I believe that is simply ignorance. It took only one church service to spark a hope in me that has over the years, become a light, guiding me out of the darkness. I hope that all of you will find the same hope and strive to be free one day.