This is the final video. All questions will be answered in this video. No more postings or videos will be made.
one_day – you were 98% right but the 2% should never be discounted as its a big part of the picture. The 2% you will never know.
If you missed the last two videos then here they are:
suicideproject.org/2012/03/a-video-message-for-one_day/
suicideproject.org/2012/03/video-message-to-lucy4/
67 comments
Does anybody really have any power or control in the grand scheme of things?
It’s all temporary. Even if you think you’re on top in this life it won’t matter in the end.
This is false advertising. NO questions were answered in this video! And now I have even MORE questions! A capitalist might consider the substitution of answers with more questions as an equitable trade but its FUCKING NOT! Two apples don’t equal an orange! Three videos don’t answer questions! Distracting from questions by rendering 3 perfecetly innocent people confused as hell doesn’t answer anything!
What was the 98%? What is the 2%? What year is it? What’s my name? Why do dogs lick their balls?
In which reality does Unique, Lucy4, me and the Suicide Project reside in?
Have you ever read Foucalt’s papers on power structures and dichotomies? Power is not a stable thing. It is fluid, constantly moving and changing between vectors. It is not one-way.
You must have noticed by now that you have power over me. I know that I have power over you. You are lying. You claim to have no power, yet you knowingly withold information from me, flaunting the power you have over me. You do this consciously. This whole thing is a power game to you, not that I mind because I am enjoying the game as well. So long as you know that power manipulation gets in the way of communication.
I am working on a video for you, just been a bit busy, sorry. Good things come to those who wait.
PS. wtf????
@one_day
well this is going to be interesting, i am interested in the construction of this little mind game that you are playing. i will be watching
@hated-one WTF???!@#%#^#
this is so frustrating I want to scream. I hope it’s worth it, endoftheline.
@one_day
you may think that what im saying if fucked however you fail to realise just how much i love mind games, i won’t commentate unless you direct a comment at me, however i do enjoy observation of these kinds of things. it… comforts me if you will
@hated-one no sorry that frustrated swearing was not directed at you, it’s a general outburst not directed at anyone in particular. Comment freely as you like, I openly welcome the insights of others because right now I got nothin’.
kk, if it wasn’t directed at me though then why did you type “@hated-one”?
@hated one, sorry you were the only one around to listen to my outburst. But I was frustratedly swearing TO you, not AT you, if you can see the diference.
yeah ok that’s fine then
If someone made me a video then I would be gratefulnot angry or confused. Unless I’m sober then it is highly likely I would be confused but no more than usual.
@duke I am grateful, but angry at being confused. Also, he’s doing it on purpose.
Maybe he feels the same way about you?
@duke what? I have not knowingly decieved or withheld information from anyone. I have consistenly invited him to contact me. The ball is in his court and he knows it. I don’t see how anyone could misconstrue the situation to imply that I am the one being intentionally evasive.
I don’t know, you just have to ask the guy.
There are lost of reasons why he might not want to reveal himself. I have not seen this video BTW so I will have to wait until im at work to view part 3 of this exciting and very worthwhile instalment.
People don’t always want to reveal everything through fear they will be judged. Some things are just to painful to talk about. I think he singled out the most compelling people on this site, well to him anyway. He obviously knows you well enough not to over step the boundaries.
If he got into a conversation with you it would end up being an unequally fight because he has something to lose. This way he can retain some advantage like counsel cross examining a witness who is unable to challenge with questions.
Here is something to understand as it relates to the message:
The word “power” gets a bad rep. So what is it that we are discussing here? Let’s try to understand.
We are understanding, discussing, and debating within this idea of “non-excess”. For example, food is over rated to the man who is fat and eats everyday. He sees food from a stand point of excess so when he says “I am hungry, I have no food” it just means he skipped lunch that day. The true meaning of hunger is a painful feeling all around the body as bones protrude from SKIN!!! When that man whose bones protrude through skin says he is HUNGRY, HE IS HUNGRY!!!
We are not discussing EXCESS! We are discussing a true hunger for BASIC POWER!!!
But we have not begun to scratch the surface. There is still the idea of reality perceptions and how these perceptions can lead to “PSYCHE ACHE”. I will leave yu to figure that out.
But two things we must understand when discussing this video: Basic Power and Reality Perception (And how reality perceptions lead to pain).
Oh. So discussing power.. you are talking about it with regards to equality.
Equality is a tricky thing because… it rellies on other people to dole out as they see fit. In this paradigm, you’re right: you don’t have power. But you still have worth. I am marginalised on several fronts. I am a woman, not white, from a lower socio-economic family. If i only chose to take into account what little power society affords me, I would be weak. But my worth is NOT only valued in terms of how others percieve it – if you fight to establish your own worth, you can take back the power that society has taken from you.
So… in terms of your psyche ache… was it the reality experiences that lead to this, or the imaginary ones? And where do we all fit into these dual realitys?
There is no such thing as reality, just your perception of it which is defined by your belief structure. At one stage Hitler was the most powerful person in Europe and he viewed war as conquering other countries for lebensraum. When the US declared war on Afghanistan and Iraq the claimed that it was to prevent terrorism and make the world a safer place. So the concept of war is interpreted in a different way depending on your interests which is why the victors return as heroes and not murderers.
The video touches on two separate realities: The reality that is the outside world and the reality that exists within your own mind.
You have little to no control over what happens in the outside world, but you do have the power to react to the data received from stimulus generated from the outside world. You DO have the power to mold your own internal reality despite what happens outdoors. It’s your perception of what is happening and how you choose to interpret the data that makes all of the difference.
Yes! so what you’re both saying is.. reality is subjective?
And if reality is subjective… and reality perceptions lead to pain… then pain perception is subjective… implying that you have choice over the pain you feel?
I don’t know whether those who are resilient make a conscious decision to separate the things they do or do not have control over. I’m more inclined to believe that the do not give such matters much thought.
@duke I disagree. Understandng and accepting that which you do and don’t have control over IS THE PROCESS through which one develops resilience. This process require much thought. It is clear that EOTL is one of those people who puts thought into everything, that’s why I believe he has potential.
@EOTL I’m curious as to how long you’ve been on SP?
There were people in concentration camps who persevered despite their external reality.
There are millionaires who blow their brains out.
The choice is yours. It’s all about the reality that you choose to adopt as your mindset.
Yet we all ended up on here.
Does mental illness not take away the choice?
Yes Duke; Have I mentioned that it’s very nice to see you again? 🙂
Thats an excellent question
Why thank you Lucy4. That must be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
@duke and lucy4: get a room.
@duke, mental illness infringes on that choice. It limits that choice, but does not fully take the choice away. Furthermore, there are services you can access to mitigate (I just did law-speak!) the infringement that mental illness plays.
Consider this: the difference between impairment and disability. Impairment is the actual thing that holds you back(mental illness). Disability is the socially constructed force which renders a person with an impairment disabled (prejudice). So, you cannot control your impairment. But you CAN control your disability, in that you can control how how much you allow your impairment to infringe on your abilities. All to a certain extent, of course.
@ one_day no need to get jealous. Your all ancient compared to me.
Secondly if the condition is debilitating there often moments when suicidal thoughts come to the fore. The mind does not have a safety mechanism when this occurs. There can only be one mindset at that given time. The moments when suicide is in the background does not count. This is why bipolar people can’t just decide they are going to be normal. They have absolutely no control over it.
In a perfect world somebody who is mentally ill would receive treatment before they got to “the point of no return.” But we don’t live in a perfect world and shit happens.
We still have the power to make our own choices and we all make mistakes. C’ est la vie.
If you believe in survival of the fittest it’s not such a tragedy.
Lol talk about freak of nature.Damn I wanted to be the next one to qet stalked!haha.Dude what’s up with you and power?I’m just lost In words with with you!Whatever you said It yourself,You aren’t qonna post so I don’t care anymore.
Ima qonna miss quessinq on who you are qonna stalk next tho!
Lucy-In this topic,that makes ssssooo much sense.”Survival of the fittest”Charles Darwin!
@duke I have every reason in the world to get jealous. Lucy likes ’em young.
Sometimes the choice is real real shitty. But I still believe there is always a choice. Because it’s pretty hard to ‘accidently’ suicide. The bipolar can;t decide to go back to being normal, (ie. they have no choice over their impairment) but they CAN decide what they chose to do about it (ie. how they react – suicide?) there is a choice, just a real shitty one. If the choice gets that shitty, one can start to see the suicide more as euthanasia. Euthanisia is still something we chose.
I never said it was a fair race. I know some are at a distinct disadvantage to others. But there’s always a choice of whether you’re going to run or throw in the towel.
@one_day; I didn’t think you were the jealous type. What’s up with that? How do you know who I like?
@life is horrible that is totally mean to call someone a ‘freak of nature’ just because you don’t have the brains to understand them. And btw, the modern connotations of ‘survival of the fittest’ actually clash with Darwins’ theories of ‘natural selection’, which are often not about the ‘fittest’ at all. Crack a book some time.
I know some people to have said ‘the voices told me to do it’ is that really a person you could reasonably argue that would be capable of making a rational decision about their future. With respect, some people would even be able to tell you what day of the week it is or name the president. There are girls on here who cut. They say it’s a compulsion that they have no control over. If someone has a compulsion to kill themselves then there can be some suggestion that it is wholly involuntary. In those circumstances how can it reasonably be argued that they could excercise even the remotest level of control.
@lucy – been chatting to the birds at brunos. Doing my own background check on you.
@one_day; that still doesn’t explain the jealousy thing.
That’s just weird
@lucy4 & one_day: You guys creep me out
6.20 am
Told you I never sleep.
@duke we could argue this point till the cows come home, and neither of us would come up with a definitive answer, so once again, it comes down to choice: What do you CHOOSE to believe?
I choose to believe I have choice, because that is empowering for me. It gives me strength. It forces me to be accountable. If I accept the theory that I have NO choice, no power, then I would roll over and die now.
Plenty of people kick addiction (drugs, cutting), or at least, turn those addictions towards less destructive ends.
@gaara – sorry. If it’s any consolation, I’m right there with you.
@lucy – I’m not really jealous. I’m just being provocative because I think duke might be jealous of me!
Why on earth would I be jealous of you One_Day?
@ Gaara; Hello. Nice to see you.
@one_day: No worries. I’m flattered that I have another stalker.
@Duke; We’ll shoot pool one of these days brother.
@duke – for monopolising your lover? I’m just stirring, I know you lost interest when you found out she was a he.
@lucy – you should just be grateful that I’m female. Even if I am an ol’ bird.
@ one_day; C’mon, leave Duke alone. He’s a good guy.
I’m not anyones stalker. I’m just trying to figure things out. Like why I’m still alive.
@one_day; I thank my lucky stars everday.
Uh-huh. I’m room hopping in another site (adorable place actually). Fun, fun. Chatting with non suicidal people is awkward but nice.
@gaara – good on you! viariety is the spice of life.
@duke I’m just playing. You know you can’t take anything I say seriously, right?
But I think you’re still alive because you have a choice…and you’re not quite ready to commit yet.
After watching the vids I feel he’s lost hope and the belief in change for better of himself. What is and was, is no longer distinguishable. Both are merged into a vacuum of truth. Without the ability to alter reality he’s losing his existence. Trapped beneath unhappiness, he sees no way out.
EOTL, I don’t know if anything I said was true but I’ll address you all the same. You are not alone. Many feel what you feel. And up until your deathly depature, the different paths you travel lead you ever closer to a home.
Interesting video. Thanks for being honest and clear in this one. I understand what your saying when you say you have lost your power.
I think you believe power tis what ever you held dear, It was the reason you went to work, the reason you brush your teeth, the reason you lived for.
Now what every that power was has been either taken away or you lost it some how. Either way you believe it is gone. And the only person who can tell you what to believe is power is you. We all hold different things in our hearts. It because of that i dont think i can help you. I wish i could, but the only person who can help you is yourself.
I will say that when i had lost my “power” my life feel apart too. i was a bit more destructive than you though, i became addicted to heroine, i burned all the bridges in my life to my loved ones, I tried to kill myself.
When i went to rehab i spent along time alone, and in silence, or siting by the sea. I realised that the only thing that really mattered to me was my mind, without i have nothing, with it i have everything.
You can take away my apartment ment, i will get another or i will live on the street, i have done it before.
take away my job, i will get another.
take away the one i love, i will feel bad and be sad, but i will love again.
take away my friends, i will miss them, but there is lots of people in the world, i will make more.
take away my Health/mental health, well then im fucked. (i am bipolar)
Point im trying to make is, power is what ever you want it to be. To me it is my mental health, so it comes first, i do what every i have to feel happy and healthy.
I dont like some1 i tell them to go away, if i dont like my job i quit, theres lots of work out there.
i did what i had to do to find this place that i am finally happy.
My happiness is mine, i am the only one who truly cares about it, because lets face it were selfish beings by nature. So i do what i have to.
I hope you can do the same, i hope even if you have to do it piece by piece, i believe you can get your power back, or even place it something else, something no one can take from you.
PS. I know exactly how you feel when you talk about the real world and the reality of the mind, when i was in my teens i knew i was different, i have been bipolar since i was a child so i allways used to meditate alot, i saw things alot clearer that rest of my generation did, i knew the things they held dear were meaningless.
Things like getting pissed and sleping with anyone and everyone, needing the latest phone, or latest game, or how much they cared about football match at the week end.
I hated them all, people are suffering in third world countries and being killed and mutalated and dieing of hunger and you care who wins at the weekend between liverpool and leeds. I felt like screaming WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.
So i found solice in my mind, I used rush home from school to mediate, i would go to my happy place, I am a born strategist so i used to pretend i was a commander in a war between humans and an alien race i created in my mind, all humanity was united, there was no hunger or war between people, And the war with the aliens was for my amusement.(i was 13 at the time)
I no longer dream about such folly, but i still feel safest in my mind when i mediate, when ever i have had a long hard day, i just go to my happy place,
That is a place where i have a house over looking the ocean, a beautiful garden, a beautiful wife and loads of children. Perfect. (at least to me it is)
I hope i written enough to warrent the honour of a video in my name. 🙂
If you think im someone you would like to talk to, just click the the little e next to my name and you can see my email address.
I hope you find the power that you seek. And thanks for sharing.
Your part of SP now, so were brothers for life.
by the way, your video’s have inspired me, so i think i will make one for you too.
I will post it next Saterday, i promise.
@one day, why does a dog lick his balls, because he can. 🙂
Peace 🙂
@unique, but he didn’t say he LOST his power… he said he never had it.
So without power, without that experience… you have no point of reference (thankyou duke)… which makes you… a child? That’s ok, it means there;s room to grow… you’re cookie dough.. cake batter. You’re not done baking yet. Like all of us, just a work in progress? Potential, waiting to be realised? Man, you’re so down on yourself when it’s so obvious how much talent you have.
You’re not dying… just not living.
@unique, I can also lick the dog’s balls. I choose not to though. I guess that’s what seperates us from the animals…
@ Unique
I’m ashamed to say I’ve never been to Ireland. If I go over I’m going to link up with Procel. When the Duke is in town no one needs to worry about the flow of alcohol.
Interesting discussion guys…
@one_day, i appoligise for my poor listening skills, i only watched it once.
@molly? care to share your thoughts?
@EOTL – I think I figured out the 2% that I am never supposed to know. And it doesn’t matter. Whatever mask you choose, there’s always the potential to see through it. No matter how elaborate, it doesn’t outshine the truly special person that resides behind it.
I was commenting on the earlier discussion on disability and impairment yadda yadda check out my post bipolarised moment that is my comment…
I agree with unique without mental health we are fucked and it isn’t something a bipolar person can control to a large extent it’s like being a puppet only who knows who is pulling the strings.sure you can do stuff to make yourself feel good but if you are too depressed to get out of bed or too hyper to concentrate and you have somewhere you have to be or do and you just can’t well it’s just fucked…I get really upset when people say oh you control how you feel I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to be like one day to the other at the moment sigh…
@molly that’s not what I meant at all… sigh. I never said you have choice over whether or not you have bi-polar. I said, you have choice over what you do about it.
The concept of choice is meant to be empowering. You guys seem to be misinterpreting it to be about blaming those with mental illness. That is NOT the point.
You are here with us now. That is your choice. Personally, I’m glad that you have made that choice.
The only people who truly don’t have choice are vegetables, who cant move, can’t talk. That is horrible. For me, I’d rather embrace the little choice I have, than submit to becoming a vegetable, at the whim of everyone else. My grandmother died slowly, a vegetable. By the end, she wasn’t even a person anymore. Without free will, we are not human.
Also, I’ve said several times before, sometimes it’s a real shitty choice. The choice between a life with a lot of suffering, or death, that’s a shitty choice. But it’s still CHOICE!
My interpretation is that he wants the power to erase all of his bad decisions and imperfections and the power to stop others from harming him.
Even though that is impossible with our limited human capabilities, the preference to die instead of only being able to control one’s reactions and feelings is one of my many reasons for choosing to die as well.
I have a feeling we are never going to hear from you again.
Im not sure why, But it makes me a little sad….
I truly do hope you find the power that you seek…..
Peace 🙁
Brother 🙂
🙁
http://suicideproject.org/2012/07/a-video-message-for-endoftheline/